(Closed) Husband unemployed, feeling very anxious about the future. (Long)

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I COMPLETELY understand your situation. We are in a somewhat similar situation ourselves. The economy really is that bad…I guess if I were you I would consider moving to a cheaper place or home with your parents (if possible), in addition, I would ask Darling Husband to get any sort of job, like, anywhere, while he looks so he can contribute a bit more.

Sometimes life is just like this….remember the stories your parents have probably told you about struggling in their 20’s? This will be your story. I got injured on the job and now my future is uncertain…all of this after I just finished school…I feel like everytime I take 1 step forward, I end up taking 2 back! But then I remember this: Life is a marathon, not a sprint and nothing comes easy. Do the best you can with what you’ve got and take it day-by-day. Perhaps your Darling Husband can expand his search and you guys can do something long-distance while you go through school? Not ideal, but it will ultimately get you both ahead the quickest…keep your head up…and one day while you are sitting in your beatiful home with your grandkids you’ll explain to them that life isn’t easy and it it takes a lot of struggle to get yourself together in tough times…you’ll even come out better for this and it will make life that much sweeter in the long run. Good luck!

Post # 5
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry to hear this is happening to you. It sucks that in this economy, even the most educated and qualified people cannot find work in their field. We were always raised to think that if we went to college, we would be able to graduate and get a job to support ourselves. Sadly, this is no longer the case.

Is it possible for you to get your full-time job back? That may be your best option to buy you some time while your Darling Husband finds a job. You could defer your schooling until he is able to get on his feet….

Post # 7
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally can relate to your situaiton. Not long after we moved to a MUCH more expensive city, Fiance was laid off and I was the only breadwinner. We had savings, but not much, and things got really tight.

What does your Fiance do? Are there any side jobs, or part-time work he could pick up in his field? Does he do something that could be advertised on say Kijiji or Craigslist? We were lucky, my Fiance was actually able to do a lot of freelance work, which then turned into him starting his own business…..something to think about ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck!

Post # 8
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Has he tried idealist.com?  Policy work often occurs at the NGO level, and that’s a good place to look for non-profit jobs.  I would also recommend that he volunteer or do committee work for organizations that he admires.  It could be the opportunity to meet someone who might be able to offer a paying job.

Post # 9
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

=/ It will get better- remember after every darkness theres light ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

My husband was laid off about 5 months after we were married.  He worked in finance and was a victim of the whole Lehman/market crash.   The best advice I have for you as a married couple is to make him feel special and needed.  you are right – not having a job is SO hard for men, they tie so much of their identity and self-worth into their career.  And the face that his lack of a job is putting the two of you in this situation must be really hard for him.  It sounds like you guys are approaching this as a team which is great. 

I think you need to figure out what works best for you two. If you have to drop out of school, will that mean forgetting your dreams? will you be resentful? can you take a year off school to just get a paycheck and then resume your program? If he has to find a job outside of his field, will that be a good short term solution?  My husband had to do that , and it is a bit of a reality these days that sometimes that is the best solution.  but you WILL be ok, even if it is not what you thought life would give you, as long as you guys make sure to stick together and not make the other one feel badly. 

Also, could you do your program if you moved to DC?  How about a long distance relationship for a short and defined period of time while he works and you finish school?  I would imagine there is more policy work in other places…..

Post # 12
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I sympathize.  FI was laid off a week after he proposed.  We figured he’d find something since plumbing will always be needed.  Not the case.  He’s still in plumbing school on his 3rd year.  He has one more year to go then he can take the test for his license. after he finishes all his working hours (which will be a major hold up considering).  He’s even applied to lower income jobs just to have a bit of something.  It’s been well over a year now and it’s really getting to him.  Me as well.  I stress constantly at the fact that I’m the only one working and my income isn’t all that great, but we make do.  I just wish we had some sort of security in the financial part of our relationship.  It’s been really tough on us and one of the main reasons we had to cancel our big wedding.  

I wish your husband the best of luck.  It’s so tough out there.

ETA: I would like to go back and finish my degree, but I would like to go part time at my job at least.  I know it’s not do-able until something starts to look up for us.

Post # 14
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Sunchick19:  Sorry, literally had no idea until today that Kijiji is just a Canadian thing (it’s like Craigslist). CL is great for looking, but he might also think about putting an ad up offering his services…my Fiance did that and got a TON of responses of people with smaller contract jobs.

Post # 15
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It’s a long commute, but if you lived in Philly with your family for free, he could take the train to DC. There are probably more public policy positions here than anywhere else in the country. Like i said, it would be a b*tch of a commute, but if it meant free housing and a job to get back on your feet, it could be worth it. And people do that commute regularly.

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