(Closed) Husband wants me to get another upgrade for social status…

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
208 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
UisceAlainn:  How long has he had this position? Unless it’s been 2+ years, you should not be spending like he’s making more than he used to. I know many, MANY people who have fallen from grace (2007-8 fin crisis, anyone?) and would have killed for the $25k your ring will cost back. $500k is good money, but taxes take a HUGE chunk.  $500k salary does not exactly qualify you for billionaire status, especially for “new wealth.”

 

Also, no one equates a giant ring with wealth anymore. I work with chicks who’s husbands are unemployed and who I know make $40k and have 2ct rings which I know are sims.  Seeming wealthy is less about what you have and more about how you act.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by pcosbee.
Post # 62
Member
921 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
MarriedToMyWork:  Those components are true, obviously, but the look has much more of an impact as many people think. What if you DO know the lingo? Or can fake it very well? It is actually very simple to work conversations in a way that seems as though you understand and relate to what the individual is saying (as though you belong) when in reality, you’re not very aware of it. It’s very strong communication skills and social awareness and intelligence. If OP’s man is doing so well in his line of work (as she has stated) then there’s a very good chance that he knows how to work people. Clothes are part of the act, and as is the ring.

Post # 63
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I also would like to see your grandma’s ring, we have a whole thread about rings and not a single sparkly picture. I need my sparkly pictures.

 

Post # 64
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
pcosbee:  I agree with this statement. many people find themselves with a sudden influx of money and go off spending right away. Then that money goes away or you get laid off and all of a sudden you are in debt. Seen it happen too many times. Something to consider. 

Totally understandable that at a young age to be intimidated by much older successful people but being comfortable, I feel, comes with a little age and experience. I also agree with the statements that most wealthy couples I know are very casual and not as flashy as people would think. Even the wealthiest family we know (billionaires with private jets) live very well but you would not be able to telost by looking at them. The wives wear just as others suggest, just a beautiful eternity band and the other wears a modest ring. They dress very casually and comfortably. Nothing that screams $$$. 

But if he insist and you don’t feel comfortable bringing your heirloom on trips than just get another ring to wear on those occassions and keep your ring now for daily wear. That way both parties are happy. 

Post # 67
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
UisceAlainn:  remember they’re just people! My FH is quite wealthy but when we met I wasn’t (didn’t come from money either) so it was an adjustment. I joined as a member to our country club and that was intimdating!! But over time I became comfortable and have made some really great friendships despite the ladies being much older/more established. You will get used to your new position then you’ll never be able to go back! 😉 

Post # 68
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
UisceAlainn:  As someone who has worked at places/gone to schools where people make $500k+ a year and come from very wealthy backgrounds, my advice is this: be yourself and get comfortable with it.

Sorry, but there will always be “Joneses” to keep up with and it just isn’t worth it. From a money, self-esteem or self-worth stand point. 

Honestly, a lot of people spend money trying to look wealthy, when in fact they are going broke or overleveraging themselves. I can tell you from personal experience a lot of people will lease cars they cannot afford, buy homes outside of their budget (become house poor) and put their kids in schools they absolutely cannot afford because it makes them “look good.” 

During college, I was a personal assistant to a woman who made about $600k a year, owned three $2 million homes, had a $45,000 2k Tiffany diamond ring and was all about the items that “showed her wealth.” While she had a lot of money, she also could not afford to retire despite being 68 because her expenses were too high and her savings/investments could not keep up.

All that to say, DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP OF KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES!

It’s an easy trap to fall into and you will eventually regret it, finanically and emotionally. I would suggest keeping your ring and wear your grandmothers ring on occasion. Help your husband develop more self-confidence rather than depleting his wallet.

FWIW, we make pretty good money combined (puts us in top 10% of US incomes) but not as much as my friends who work in finance (top 3%). But we have more in our retirements and savings because we live well below our means. We plan to retire by 50, my friends unfortunatley will probably not be able to because they are blowing a lot of their money now on materials things.

Also, what part of the country do you live in? Honestly, while $500k is a lot, it depends on where you live. I live in a MCOL area, where median cost of living is $50k, so the people I know making $500k are really far up there. In comparison, my friends in NYC making $500k cannot buy nearly as much.

Post # 69
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

The “mega” rich do not give a crap about your ring. They are either so entitled that your ring would be inherently unimportant or they are educated and cultured enough that judging someone on their ring size would never occur to them. Plus, they can tell exactly what social class you are after a couple of sentences. It will reflect on you much better to be real, to wear a ring that is meaningful instead of one that is a showpiece.

Post # 71
Member
675 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I see where OP’s DH mindset is coming from. If he’s been in this job for 1-2 years, he’s probably still getting used to adapting to this new “wealthy” environment. I’m sure for most of us, it’s intimating and would try hard to fit in, consciously or unconsciously. I can see how tough it would be especially for OP, being the wife behind the man.

Is it possible you settle for 1 carat solitaire earrings instead? At least you could wear earrings daily without being overly “blingy” with a 2ct ring on your finger.

But OP, with a kind heart I would seriously suggest you to have a nice talk about carefully managing finances with DH. Earning lots of money does not mean you need to spend it all. With such a rocky economy right now, we never know what will happen tomorrow. Good luck!

Post # 74
Member
4250 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Both are gorgeous!!!  I would never take the Cartier (?) off though.  Baguettes are so elegant and classic.

Post # 75
Member
2671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’ve read through all 5 pages, and I can’t believe no one else has stated the obvious- this tale is completely implausible. From intern to VP (raking in over $500k) overnight. This immediate career progression simply doesn’t happen in real life, unless your parents happen to own the company. 

The topic ‘Husband wants me to get another upgrade for social status…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors