(Closed) husband wants sex during my lunch break!

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think this is a little weird.

Post # 3
Member
9520 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I dont think cheap, weird, wrong or ungrateful are the right words. Inconvienced, unrealistic are appropriate for the situation. Yeah, most guys would run home for a nooner but women are different. Does he understand how running back and forth is stressful to you? 

Post # 4
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think you’re wrong. Perhaps explain to him that what he is asking for is just not feasible within that particular time slot. I’d much rather surprise him by taking a day off (if & when possible) to do the dirty, just a thought 😉 

Post # 5
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I understand what you’re saying.  I don’t think that it would work for me either.  I think you may be making an assumption about how he’s feeling.  He could be suprised that you’re not into it because it was starting to happen more often.  He could have thought you were coming around to the idea.  I think in most realtionships one partner has a higher sex drive.

I’d talk to him.  Say while a quickie is ok occassionally on a regular basis it’s not very satisfying  for you.  Most of the time it takes you longer to get aroused with “lunch sex” because knowing that you are crunched for time, worrying that you’re going to be late getting back work causes anexity.  Make sure to tell him that is has nothing to do about not wanting him.  Perhaps you guys could discuss if he wants to “spice thing up” when you do have sex.  I wonder if for your hubbie if part of the attraction to lunch sex is the “sneaking around” or feeling like you guys are doing something “dirty”?  If that’s the case then there are other ways to get that besides having lunch sex.  I’m sure he’d like more sex but with your work schedules it’s not possible.  He may have to start taking care of it himself more often.

Post # 6
Member
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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Stace126:  I understand where your coming from completely in your post, that it’s a total inconvenience for you to have a nooner on your lunch break but, im going to play devils advocate here..

Maybe, if it’s that important to your DH (only assuming its important to him because he’s brought it up repeatedly) that maybe once a month you can make  “date” of lunchtime sex with him, provided he has lunch prepared for you, preferably something that’s yummy that you can eat on the go? I know it’s a pain to deal with lunch hour traffic, but at least he would have lunch covered for you.. That way he’d have to put forth effort too, and all the pressure isn’t on you.. Its only fair 🙂

Just an idea of a compromise! 🙂

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  Stephville.
Post # 7
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I guess I’m confused.  You initially say he asks you to come home once a month, but at the end of the post you say he wants quickies all the time.  Do you consider once a month to be too much?  I mean, I don’t think you should have sex if you don’t want to, but I personally don’t think him asking once a month is too demanding. 

I know it’s inconvenient but it sounds like it’s important to him and he doesn’t ask very often.  Repeated rejection can be hard on a relationship. 

 

Post # 8
Member
835 posts
Busy bee

That would totally irritate me – tell him it’s hard to feel turned on when rushing home during lunch is such an effort. I’m sure as a woman you also do a million other little things in your spare moments that he doesn’t think to do – and on both of your behalf too. Tell him if he wants lunch sex, he’s going to have to have it with Palm-ella Hand-erson, because it just doesn’t work for you on a regular basis. And don’t feel guilty about it either.

Post # 9
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
Stephville:  agree with this.

Also, maybe you could ask him to meet you somewhere closer to your office. He travels AND brings the food.

 

Post # 10
Member
9125 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Stace126:  My husband works afternoons, so similar schedule to yours, and finding time for sex was hard. I have a very hard time falling back asleep if I’m woken up, so had to ask him to quit hitting me up when he got home and came to bed. I’d lose 3 hours of sleep whether we did it or not, and I couldn’t afford that. HE, on the other hand, has no trouble falling back asleep. So we discovered that if I wake him when I get up, we can have our sexy time, I can shower and get on with my day, and he can go back to sleep happy. Could that work for you guys?

About the lunch sex, I agree 10 or 15 minutes away might be a challenge. I once worked 5 minutes away and went home for lunch and/or sex pretty regularly. One time when I was the only one in the office (it was a small startup) he met me there and we did it in the conference room. That was a good 10 years ago and he still mentions it from time to time.

Is your work the kind where you can kind of predict which days are going to be a little lighter? Like, I know Wednesdays and Thursdays are less busy for me than Mon, Tues, or Fri; especially the second and third Wed & Thurs of the month. If your workload is at all predictable, maybe you can schedule a day once a month — maybe even arrange so you can take a 90 minute lunch, and leave at like 11:30 so traffic is easier? It would depend on your job of course, and how flexible it is. If something like that is possible, I bet it would mean a lot to him. If it isn’t possible though, he should understand it just doesn’t work for you. How far away does he work — could he come home for HIS lunch sometimes? My husband did that a few times when he worked 20 minutes away. Not often, but on occasion. Good luck — it’s hard with opposite schedules.

Post # 11
Member
7624 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

At the beginning of your post you say it’s about once a month and then you say he wants quickies all the time. If I was in this situation and it was really only once a month I would just go with it. Hell, I would probably make it a point to initiate on days that worked better for me instead of him asking on a potentially bad day.

If it is all the time I would put my foot down more often but I wouldn’t feel cheap. I don’t know what it’s like having opposite schedules but perhaps he wants more sex but feels there just isn’t time for anything other than quickies? Maybe you should have a conversation about the current frequency?

“But to him I feel like he needs to MAKE time for sex, no matter how fast/inconvenient/unsexy it is.” TBH- I would find this hot. I would be happy that my husband was thinking of me and asked me to come home even if it was going to be quick.

 

Post # 12
Member
916 posts
Busy bee

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Stace126:  Ask him to come get you. If he’s doing the driving, he may soon see why you say no.

Post # 13
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

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Stace126:  I see why you’re annoyed. you need to have a healthy lunch or you will have low blood sugar and not be all too interested in doing the deed when you are hungry? Not to mention I know I would struggle to be efficient, calm, and pleasant that afternoon at my job if I skipped lunch.

i also really enjoy cuddling and hanging out after sex! I don’t think you and I are the only women to feel this way!

The only way I could see this occasionally working for you, not just for him, is if you eat a healthy breakfast, are allowed a morning snack break and keep with you foods such as cashews to nibble on. Or if you can bring back a smoothie or milkshake to the job. Also he and you would have to agree that lateness (such as when you were late for an MD appointment) is not ok – you could throw off co workers lunch breaks and risk your job. You could get caught in traffic so I wouldn’t do it often!

Could DH text you sweet and sexy texts/FB messages to get you in the mood thst morning and do you have a break where you could read them/watch a sexy music video on your phone. Maybe you could listen to some favorite songs driving home to lunch?

In nice weather, maybe DH could drive to meet you for lunch. He could bring a picnic lunch or you two could go somewhere to eat and also get in some outdoor sex in a quiet spot or fool around in the car?

I get the feeling that if you didn’t have to worry about being hungry, getting back on time, and being in the mood, that you would enjoy the spontaneity. You do not owe DH sex on your lunch break no matter what – but if he is a great husband who doesn’t make you feel pressured (except with his frustrating work schedule and wanting sex when you’re at work lol), I would consider it occasionally if the logistics can work.

The reason that I would consider it is that doing so could promote keeping your marriage spicy and spontaneous! If you could eliminate the drawbacks, you yourself might find it to be naughty and have a really good day at work as a result.

 If it still doesn’t work, then you should not do it and not feel guilty!!!!

Feel free to let me know if my ideas help.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  littlechickie.
  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  littlechickie.
  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by  littlechickie.
Post # 14
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

View original reply
Relat:  lol, so true!

Post # 15
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe he could sneak home in the evenings and have sex with you on HIS lunch break.

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