(Closed) Husband wants to go to France w/ Dad & Brother

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mahhanks:  What if the tables were turned and it was you being offered a trip with family to France?  Wouldn’t you want your husband to support you and be happy for you? 

Post # 4
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

So the options are:

1. He goes with dad and brother without you

2. He doesn’t go at all

I think it’s a bit selfish to make him miss the trip just because you can’t go. Fiance travels on boys only trips with his dad and uncle once a year and I totally support it. Also I don’t see how his brother’s love life is relevant. It’s not like they’re going to Thailand or Vegas without you. 

Post # 5
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t know, I really think I would be hurt. I think the fact that he is going somewhere you have always wanted to go would cause you financial hardship, AND leave you out would bother me a lot. I can see why someone could say you would be keeping him from an opportunity, but I definitely understand your feelings and I think they are valid. Does he know how you feel? 

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think he should go, and I think it’s amazing that he has the opportunity to go. If you want to go so badly, find a way! We did travel hacking to help fund our 8 month backpacking adventure. The offers for opening an AAdvantage credit card, for an example, are often enough to pay for at least a one way ticket to Europe, sometimes they up it to enough for a round trip. We flew to asia and back for free on airline miles.

Post # 8
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

I totally see where your coming from. But if the tables were turned wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go? BUT, honestlly, selfish or not I would probably feel the exact same way as you.

Post # 9
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I get where you’re coming from. My Fiance has done this to me (gone galavanting around with his family on vacations without me multiple times) – its complicated so I won’t go into all the details – but it has created problems in our relationship. We don’t have too many deep seated issues with one another, but for me, this one particular issue is a source of bitterness that I struggle to get over. Just wanted to let you know I can relate.

Post # 10
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

If it were me, I’d probably be hurt that I couldn’t go, but I’d let him have that experience. If I had a choice between my SO going somewhere nice or neither of us, I’d think that it’d be better for at least one of us to have some fun. If it were reoccuring, then maybe I’d have more of an issue.

Post # 14
Member
8440 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@mahhanks:  If the trip is going to cost your family money and money is tight and your hubby would not be receiving a pay check then I don’t think it is selfish for you to say that maybe he shouldn’t go. For no other reason than there wont be money coming into the family account whilst he was away.

If that wasn’t the case I would be with the other posters saying let him go. Hubby is off to New Zealand this year without me and next year I am going to Hawaii with my Mum and he is going to Japan with his brother. I see no problem with accepting a free trip or going on seperate vacations.

Post # 15
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@mahhanks:  Well if it’s really going to put you guys in a tough spot, then he shouldn’t go… but I wouldn’t say anything to him about you not being able to go because it’ll seem like that’s the reason. Financial reasons are a totally valid reason to not travel. It’s more than him just not getting paid for that time off, it’s possibly going to affect your being able to pay bills.

Post # 16
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In your OP it sounded like the whole trip would be paid for and I was going to say you need to let him take the trip. However, after reading your later post that it is just the airfare that is piad for and he will pay for the rest, I do not think he should go. You make it clear that you are not in a good financial situation and no one should be taking a trip to France when there is stress about paying monthly bills. If his dad and brother were paying for hotels/car rental too, I’d say something different- but since it doesn’t sound like that’s the case, it is going to be an expensive trip that your husband can’t afford.

The topic ‘Husband wants to go to France w/ Dad & Brother’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors