Post # 1
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
We got married literally 5 days ago. My new husband’s Mother has been in town since, and he wants to hang out with her every day, because she is from the other coast, and he thinks because she is old – “you never know if this is the last time I will see her”. I like her and don’t mind hanging out with her any other time, but every day since we got married, he wants to take her out for lunch, have dinner etc. Am I being a big baby because I want to spend one day with my husband just the two of us? Our honeymoon is not until September. We have already had two horrible fights over this – I’m feeling pretty upset. Anty advice is appreciated!!
Post # 3
Member
3072 posts
Sugar bee
Awww, honey I understand. My advice is to let it go. She’ll be going home soon and your honeymoon is right around the corner. After that, you’ll have your man all to yourself! I think it’s not ideal at all for his mom to be hanging around. You’re newlyweds, you deserve to be alone and I’d think any adult would understand that. But, this apparently means a lot to him, so I would try not to nag him about it and just wait it out.
Post # 4
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
@Stargazer11: I can understand wanting that alone time as newlyweds. But if its only going to be a couple of more days and she’s going back home, I say let him have his time with her. Especially since he’s feeling like this might be his last bonding time with her. You have your entire life to spend with him. And especially your honeymoon. I would just make this a special, comfortable visit for his mother until she leaves.
I really do understand. My FI spends so much time and does everything for his parents that it cuts into our time together. I do get frustrated. But that’s because he’s dad is very ill and don’t know how much time he’ll be with us and his mom is 75. We are also moving 5 hours away from them next week. So I just hang in there, spend time with them as well, so at least FI and I are doing things together at least and remind myself we are moving and getting married. I don’t want to take away his moments with his parents and want him to feel like he did all he can before they pass. And I don’t want to get in the way of that.
Post # 5
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
@Stargazer11: I understand both points of view! It’s a very difficult situation for you and for him. Try to make the best of the situation, and take comfort in knowing that her visit will be over soon and you and your hubby can spend lots of quality of time together!
Post # 6
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
@Stargazer11 Yeah, my DH did this with his mother. Mind you, she flew in from China, but she stayed at my mom’s house for a week and I spent all that time driving her all over the area and taking her sightseeing and taking her out to dinner. Not only did I not get to spend time with DH alone, I also didn’t really get to spend time with other people, I was so preoccuppied with her. And tired! I fell asleep during one of our tours around town.
I was, admittedly, really irritated, but as PP said, it was only temporary. Also, doing something selfless like this early in the marriage will for SURE get your marriage off on the right foot! Hugs, it will all be ok!
Post # 7
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
@Stargazer11: wow….yes you are being a bit of a baby…sorry I am not trying to be mean…your husband is absolutlely correct and time is short…I am guessing he is a bit older than you perhaps? As you get older and you see people around you passing away or getting sick you really really realize how short life it.
Post # 8
Member
8997 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
You need to let this go. I am assuming she flew out for your wedding — Let him have this time with his mother. You have the rest of your lives to spend together. He doesn’t have that with his mother, and if she flew/drove/whatever to see you guys, let him have this.
What’s a few more days in the grand scope of the rest of your lives?
Chill. Let it go — She’s your mother in law.
Post # 9
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
@Stargazer11: Thank you all for your comments! Really really helpful! Phew … Starting to feel back to normal again 🙂 I am so grateful!
Post # 10
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
@Overjoyed: +1
In the grand scheme of things he’s right, you never know how long we will have our parents for. He’s given you the rest of his life. Give him this and in no time she’ll go back home and you will be on your honeymoon.
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