(Closed) Husband wants to move to another city

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m totally not trying to be negative, but is it actually realistic for him to think he can just get a job and move to the US?  I mean, does he have citizenship?  Or is he such a specialized software developer that some company will sponsor him (which is expensive and usually isn’t done unless they can’t find an American citizen with equivalent skills)?  It’s not that easy unless you have special circumstances.  In which case, I think you probably shouldn’t worry about it just yet.  But if your town relies on O&G, maybe you should consider looking elsewhere so that you both can be employed…

Post # 3
Member
3607 posts
Sugar bee

I imagine it will be really sad to move away from your hometown, your families, and everyone you know. It sounds like you don’t have a choice, though. Your DH doesn’t have a job and you might be unemployed shortly — and frankly, a forced leave of absence does not sound promising. Can any of your connections in your hometown help either of you get a secure job? If not, you need to move, but do so with the understanding that it’s temporary and you’re going to start looking for jobs in your hometown in X number of years, or sooner if the economy recovers. It sounds like you need a hard number instead of an open-ended “it’s only temporary” kind of deal.

Post # 4
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

What is it about moving that scares you? Have you ever lived apart from your family before? It is completely realistic that he can get a high paying job in the US, especially in a city where software pays good money and the cost of living is not too high. There are many software jobs here that pay well. Have you looked into the employability in your field versus software development? I have never heard of high voltage before as a field? Also, to be honest you said in a similar situation, how do you deal with it–we deal with it by living where my FH works and enjoys his job because he earns enough to support us, allowing me to pursue an advanced degree. 

Post # 5
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

So basically, neither one of you has a stable job, and he’s looking for better opportunities. Are you an engineer? I don’t know what a “high voltage” job is. What are you going to do when you finally are let go from your employment? It’s not looking good now. 

Don’t be scared. Even though you’ve lived in this place all your life, things could be even better if you make a move. Perhaps you can talk to him about a move that could be advantageous for the both of you. I can’t see how staying put will work with your economic situation. 

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