Post # 1
As my title says, my husband wants to move to another city. The city we live in is my hometown. Both our families live here. My ILs lives in our house as well. Unfortunately our economy is down in the dumps as it is quite involved in oil and gas. My husband lost his job about half a year ago. He is a software developer. I am currently still ’employed’ but I’m on forced vacation, and possibly temporary leave of absence until a new project comes in.
My husband is looking into moving to the US to find employment there. I wouldnt lie – it’s breaking my heart with the idea of him leaving and eventually I may need to leave. I love my city and this is all I know. I know he can find opportunities here but I feel like his mind and goals are set to be in the particular US city. It’s not the best for me career wise as it lacks the field I am trying to specialize in (high voltage).
It boggles my mind that he is just thinking of finding a new job that he will be interested in. I feel like he is playing it off as a temporary thing just to ease me into the idea. But to me its not and I find I’m less trustworthy towards his words because I keep thinking he wants this to be long term. We’ll have to leave everything we built here. I am trying to think it from a logically perspective that may be it is for the best but emotionally wise it sucks. But for him to stay here he might not be able to do whatever he is hoping to find there.
I guess for bees who have a similar experienc… How did you guys deal with it?
Post # 2
I’m totally not trying to be negative, but is it actually realistic for him to think he can just get a job and move to the US? I mean, does he have citizenship? Or is he such a specialized software developer that some company will sponsor him (which is expensive and usually isn’t done unless they can’t find an American citizen with equivalent skills)? It’s not that easy unless you have special circumstances. In which case, I think you probably shouldn’t worry about it just yet. But if your town relies on O&G, maybe you should consider looking elsewhere so that you both can be employed…
Post # 3
I imagine it will be really sad to move away from your hometown, your families, and everyone you know. It sounds like you don’t have a choice, though. Your DH doesn’t have a job and you might be unemployed shortly — and frankly, a forced leave of absence does not sound promising. Can any of your connections in your hometown help either of you get a secure job? If not, you need to move, but do so with the understanding that it’s temporary and you’re going to start looking for jobs in your hometown in X number of years, or sooner if the economy recovers. It sounds like you need a hard number instead of an open-ended “it’s only temporary” kind of deal.
Post # 4
What is it about moving that scares you? Have you ever lived apart from your family before? It is completely realistic that he can get a high paying job in the US, especially in a city where software pays good money and the cost of living is not too high. There are many software jobs here that pay well. Have you looked into the employability in your field versus software development? I have never heard of high voltage before as a field? Also, to be honest you said in a similar situation, how do you deal with it–we deal with it by living where my FH works and enjoys his job because he earns enough to support us, allowing me to pursue an advanced degree.
Post # 5
So basically, neither one of you has a stable job, and he’s looking for better opportunities. Are you an engineer? I don’t know what a “high voltage” job is. What are you going to do when you finally are let go from your employment? It’s not looking good now.
Don’t be scared. Even though you’ve lived in this place all your life, things could be even better if you make a move. Perhaps you can talk to him about a move that could be advantageous for the both of you. I can’t see how staying put will work with your economic situation.
Post # 6
actually it is. I know a few people who do not have specialized skills in software development because… Well it is programming. As long as you understand the language and you are good coder then yes US companies are willing to invest to bring you over.
Unfortunately not. I’m last of a few who still have a job. Most people I know ar either enjoying unemployment or went to another city. But I agree. I want the hard numbers so I can look forward to thinking ‘it’s only for x years’ vs not knowing.
I haven’t lived in a different city from my family. What scares me is not being able to be there for them as accessible as before. Family is a big thing for me and I don’t want to regret losing time with family for the sake of making more money.
As for my field it’s power system dealing with high voltage (+69 kV), which is used for generation and transmission, which was great for O&G and hard to find elsewhere. It’s a small field to get in but because of complexity I can learn the most about power system, which idealistic would help my advance in my career