Husband wants to retire at 45!

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 61
Member
6301 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

isleofnewlywed :  while him wanting to retire and what I agree is a bait and switch is highly concerning, I am almost as concerned about his vision of parenting ie that his parents will do the work while he does nothing. So I agree with keeping your finances separate, but I would also shelve TTC for the forseeable future, too, until he can regain your trust and demonstrate that he can behave like a responsible adult.

Also, for those outside the UK, IMO £55k a year (I’m assuming before tax) with a minor child in the picture is not enough to retire on, even if mortgage free. Or rather, it is, but only if you were careful. It is not enough IMO to live comfortably or to provide the luxuries that I personally would want to try to provide for a child, such as extra curricular activities, savings, or university tuition fees.

Post # 62
Member
6301 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Also, I don’t know if anyone has touched on this, but what would happen if at some point, say in 10 years, you could not work eg due to disability? Very few people are going to want to employ someone in their 50s who’s been out of a work for a long time.

Post # 63
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

Ummm…no!  For me any of these bigger worklife decisions should be decided together, especially when they have an impact on our joint financial future.  I’m super disatisfied in my job, I’d love to switch fields or cut back to fewer hours but I would never consider pursuing it without discussing it with my SO.

Post # 65
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I mean…personally I would LOVE to retire at 45…but it has to be a joint decision.

Post # 66
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

What was the plan he presented you with? Or has there been no plan?

Post # 70
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee

His plan was to save his part time work money for his retirement while you would pay for him while.wokring part time? seems like a solid plan 🙄 also who would think a partner would be supportive of “I asked my boss yo work part time . then I will retire soon. I wont be  SAHD or do additional work at home. you will support us while I do my thing. surrise honey”. sorry that just sounds crazy logic.

good form you for sticking to your guns and not letting him get away with anything. Good that you will keep your finances separate. His life plans seems to be very concentrated on your finances. I’m also glad he is seeing where he went wrong. I’m sure you will solve the trust issues. Good luck 😊

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