Husband was wearing exes wedding ring.

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
5865 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

beemorning :  wishing childbirth to be “As painful as humanly possible for me” … “Shove plan B down my throat” if he thought I could be pregnant again.

What the hell! Seriously, why on earth are you with this guy?


Post # 3
3249 posts
Sugar bee

You have every right to be angry. And you should leave. As quickly and as safely as possible. Get in touch with a lawyer sooner rather than later. But be careful, he sounds a little nuts, I wouldn’t put it past him to go stupid and lose his shit. 

You and your daughter deserve so much better. You wouldn’t encourage her to stay in this situation, would you? Be safe Bee!

Post # 5
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I understand that the ring was the last straw but being with someone who could say such nasty things to you makes me think you don’t value yourself and your standards are very low.  Please get counseling and leave this toxic human.

Post # 6
10082 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

This guy sounds like human garbage. Does he have any redeeming qualities? 

Post # 7
88 posts
Worker bee

Leave. Now. End of story.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this, but it sounds like you should’ve let him go years ago when he didn’t want your daughter.

As for forgiving because “that’s what spouses do.” No. Spouses do forgive when there is remorse on the part of the offender and if there is an effort to remedy the situation but I see neither in your spouse.

Post # 8
12528 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Give me a break that it didn’t mean anything. Who does that? He knew. It was his pathetic little protest every day. Apart from the ring, he’s disrespectful, emotionally abusive, and shows no evidence of wanting to change. You have every right to be upset and to consider your options, including following through with your threat. 

Post # 9
5865 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

beemorning :  He just has me feeling like I’m over reacting lately, to the point I’m very confused on if I’m doing the right thing…

Honestly, if anything you are under-reacting! You are definitely doing the right thing, this guy has zero respect for you and you/ your child don’t deserve that.   None of those things are “jokes” and that defense doesn’t even make sense. 

Post # 10
254 posts
Helper bee

The ring is the least of your problems. Leave him. No other advice needed.

I’m continually amazed at the amount of human garbage there is out there and the people who put up with it.

Post # 11
603 posts
Busy bee

Please get yourself and your daughter away from this man as soon as you can. 

Post # 12
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

beemorning :  he always defends himself as just joking and says he never means to say hurtful things, that he’s just “stupid” or using sattire

Uh lies, straight up lies but for the moment, let’s say it WAS his way of joking & satirizing.  If you’ve expressed that you’re not okay with it then those “jokes” should’ve ceased.  Since they haven’t then that’s simply another display of disrespect towards you bee.  Throughout your whole post the common recurrent theme I got was a total disregard for your feelings and disrespect of you as his wife.  In actuality, you are his emotional punching bag.  He doesn’t recognize you as a person with feelings that deserves his respect.  He treats you with contempt and you’ve been totally okay with that up to now.

He’s crying because he doesn’t want to lose his punching bag and if the tears work, then hey……. punching bag you continue to be.

The problem is that you can’t see the crying and your subsequent guilt for what it is……..manipulation.   He’s gaslit you so badly that you doubt your own judgement and worth. 

Dear beautiful bee… one deserves to be treated the way you have been by your own husband.  THAT IS NOT LOVE AND NEVER WILL BE! There are men out there that will treat you like the queen that you are.  Why don’t you get out of your own way so that man can find you?

Post # 13
488 posts
Helper bee

beemorning :  Possibly the most devestating thing though happened just last week when I was cleaning our bathroom. 

This is the hill you chose to die on?  Why the fuck did you not file for divorce as soon as he announced that he didn’t want to be a father?

Post # 14
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

beemorning :  He is crying because he wants you to feel horrible and not leave him!!!! He knows what he is doing. People cry when other people break up with them, I am pretty sure it happens all the time. Oh bee the ring is the least of your problems, that’s just the icing on the cake. Focus more on the verbal abuse he is spewing out. You want your daughter seeing how he treats you? Rally with your family and friends for your support system. Hugs to you bee. 

Post # 15
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

beemorning :  


DIVORCE HIM. I would have done the second after he wished childbirth was as painful as possible on you. 


The ring thing, just confirms what an absolute arsehole he is. 

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