Husband was wearing exes wedding ring.

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
7078 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

He’s emotionally abusive and manipulative.  Do you want your daughter growing up seeing someone treat you like that?  Leave.  Now.

Post # 17
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I got physically ill reading that he said he wished childbirth was as painful as possible for you and that he was going to “shove plan b down your throat” I am so upset for you and your DAUGHTER. You have a daughter, this is what you want to show her a relationship should be like? THIS is what you want for her? He’s divorced, have you ever discussed why they broke up? It mighty be telling to see what happened there. 

Post # 18
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

He sounds like an abusive asshole; leave him ASAP please.

Post # 19
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

View original reply
zzar45 :  Yeah I didn’t need to read anything further after that….OP please get a divorce for the sake of not only yourself but for the daughter he clearly didn’t want. 

Post # 20
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

What a joke this man is. Please don’t play into his pity party. You and your daughter deserve so much better than this. 

Post # 21
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

This makes me wonder what are your reasons for even being in the relationship?

Everything you mentioned are grounds for a divorce….ASAP. He sounds like a horrible human being.

Post # 22
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

View original reply
beemorning :  you do not have to give any more of your life to this man just because you already put up with it for so long. It’s a sunk cost and the time to leave is now. Not only for you, but for your daughter as well. I can understand if some things were meant to be jokes. But both people would know that it was a joke, and no one is left hurt. This guy sounds like someone I used to date, and he would say he was a bad bf, and he was sorry. Honestly, he knew what he was doing. He was just seeing what he could get away with. 

Post # 23
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: City, State

This has me feeling like I’m literally reading about my ex husband.  We had two children together and I struggled for TOO LONG, over what the right thing to do was.  He was always “sarcastically joking” saying very hurtful things, I found him numerous times engaged in conversations or interactions with female friends that were just not appropriate.  I literally had all the same thoughts you are referring to… 

For me it came down to this…. do I want my daughters to grow up thinking this treatment and behavior is normal or acceptable, or do I want them to find someone who loves and adores them and treats them how they deserve to be treated….

I ended up leaving, it was the right choice.  I immediately felt this sense of dread leave me and a sense of relief the day that I left.  The hardest part of the whole thing was making the first decision to leave.  Once I took that first step things just got better from there.

 

im now married to the most amazing man who treats me and my girls like gold.  He puts his family first in every way and I know more than ever see just how clouded your sense of “normal” can get when you’re stuck in a situation like I was before.

No one can tell you what to do.  When you’re alone sitting with yourself, in your gut… you know what the right decisions is for you and your child.

 

im so sorry that you’re feeling like this but there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel!  💕💕

 

 

 

Post # 24
Member
3946 posts
Honey bee

Your husband is an abuser. He is manipulating you with his tears to get you back in line. Leave now for your child’s sake.

Post # 25
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee

Your daughter is going to grow up thinking this is how men are and that it is OK that they are this way. Mum put up with it so she should too. She will becoming accepting of abuse and manipulation.

Please, please give her a chance and yourself a chance too.  Listen to your family and both of you get away from this terrible man.

 

Post # 26
Member
8937 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
beemorning :  Him wearing a different ring is worse than him wishing your child was never born? I mean, yes it’s shitty of him, but is it more shitty than threatening you with a forced abortion or hoping for you to be in excruciating pain? How do you trust him to take care of your daughter when he is so open about wishing she was never born? I’m not even talking psychologically here, I mean how do you trust him not to shake her or let her “accidentally” slip under in the tub, or “accidentally” choke on something? I couldn’t live under the same roof as someone who said these things, much less allow my child to.

He cries? I’m sure your daughter is going to be crying a lot with him as her dad. Which of them are you going to protect?

Post # 27
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

I think the ring is just another thing in a long list of valid reasons that you have to leave. He sounds horrible. He wanted you to be in pain during childbirth. People who love each other shouldn’t want the other to suffer like that. He followed some girl who posts nudes and joked about forcing a pill down your throat that would kill your child in the possibility of you being pregnant. These things are WRONG. If it weren’t for those things, I might could just say that men do stupid things and maybe he meant nothing by wearing the ring, but he sounds like a jerk and I wouldn’t trust his intentions of being good, or that he just did something out of ignorance. Good luck. I hope you find the strength to do what you should. 

Post # 28
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee

He’s a monster. I would document any evidence you have about him not wanting your daughter, even record conversations if you are not in a two party state, and get out. I am sarcastic as is my husband, and never would we dream of saying such horrific things to each other.

Post # 29
Member
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Excuse me but what the fuck. Your Normal-o-meter is broken. No it’s smashed to smithereens. The ring is the least of your worries. 

Post # 30
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

Sounds like a hopeless situation that you should get out of soon before you waste more time with him. Definitely go to individual counseling once every week or two during this transition. 

Look up narcissist videos on YouTube and see if those resonate with you. 

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