Husband Workoholic

posted 2 weeks ago in Married Life
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2020

    Have you expressed all this to him? Clearly, and word for word.

    FH works 60 hour weeks generally speaking (7-5) but he spends at least Saturday and every dinner with me. We agreed on this a year ago when he took a promotion as the head of his department. We didn’t care about more money at the expense of our relationship. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2942 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

    I definitely know how you feel. My husband and I used to work for the same company. He slowly became an executive and then part owner so his work week was Monday through Saturday. Usually 8am-8 or 9pm or so. He worked about 80 hours a week. I did everything for the house including cooking and cleaning. It was a lot on both of us. It was also a really toxic environment where the CEO expected my husband to be available 24/7 and would get pissed if my husband didn’t answer on the first ring. 

     

    We talked a lot on how that wasn’t our “forever” situation. Basically, before we would start trying for a baby, he would need to work less. I told him I wasn’t comfortable having a child in a situation where I’d feel like an only parent. We kind of made an exit plan. I found another job and then my husband did a few months later. We made sure we had health insurance, our new jobs were stable, etc. before we ttc. 

    It was a little hard because I think we were ready earlier to ttc other than our job situation. But what’s great is you can plan on your future, what hours you’re both comfortable working and save up money so everything will be less stressful! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1619 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

    View original reply
    @cb2020:  my husband is a teacher. So he tends to work late nights prepping and grading as well as over the weekend. I myself am in social work and do take work home. We do though take some evenings and 1 weekend day to spend it between us. We have made it work. Im not gonna lie. It took balancing out what we needed work wise and home wise, and found what we needed to do on our weeknights/weekends for work, and for eachother. A convo for sure should happen if it hasnt happened yet.

    best of luck bee!

    Post # 5
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I think the problem here is there doesn’t seem to be a hard deadline / exit strategy. If you know this is going to be your life for the next two years- at which point your husband will either a) make his entrepreneurial activities his career and quit his job or b) give up on his entrepreneurial projects and focus on the 9-5 it might be a lot easier to handle.

    For example, if I’m working on my masters and working full time- we both know it’s over once I graduate- so there is an end date in sight.

    I don’t think it’s fair to you to have a timeline that is “sometime in the future”

    Post # 7
    Member
    275 posts
    Helper bee

    Ahhh I feel you. My SO is glued to his work. It’s hard sometimes. I agree with PP, that we make an effort to have dinner together and the weekend. 

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