(Closed) Husbands brother and wife called their son the name we wanted

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Is it for a brother to choose same baby name that other brother had already chose?

    Yes - fine whoever has the child first should have the name

    No- if the name had clearly been stated they should have picked another name

    Both brothers can call their children the same name regardless

  • Post # 3
    7547 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I’m sorry but if you’re not pregnant, you can’t “dibs” a name. Maybe think of another you like and keep it a secret. Best of luck on TTC. 

    Post # 4
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    A similar thing happened to us. I think it’s normal to be a little shocked at first, but with time you will move on. Don’t sweat the small stuff! 🙂

    Post # 5
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Father\'s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

    @Reedyd:  I can see it from both sides. I do think that it was a little insensitive of them to name their child the same name that you wanted, but at the same time, maybe they really did like the name. They did have their child first (again, I’m not saying it’s right), so they got the name. It really sucks, and I do think that you should say something, just to try and understand what their thought process was for doing it.

    As far as naming your son the same thing. I don’t see any reason why you can’t. My younger brother’s name is Brandon Carl and my parents claimed that name in front of the whole family. However, my aunt had her son mere hours before my brother was born and she used it because she decided she also like it. So in my family there are two Brandon Carls born on the same day. It’s weird, but it works. The Brandon’s actually loved having the same name and tried to make people believe they were actually the same person in two bodies (weirdos, lol).

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you. TTC is already stressful enough, without something like this happening. This is why Mr. D and I are keeping our names to ourselves so hopefully none of the name taking would happen! Hugs dear!

    Post # 6
    711 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Well you can’t help how you feel – and no feeling is ever wrong – its how you feel. I can see why you would be feeling very hurt right now. Unfortunately you can’t turn back the clock and they have used the name. All you can do is give yourself some time to feel a bit sad about it (maybe watch some sappy movies with your SO, cuddle on the couch and eat some chocolate and cry). When you have your own little one you can decide then if you still want to use the name (you never know how you will feel in time).

    Hope you are feeling better soon

    Post # 7
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    That stinks…I’m sorry.  🙁  I’ve seen this happen to a lot of friends and they’ve all advised, don’t share the name before birth for this reason.

    Post # 8
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m dying to know what the name is!

    Post # 9
    1085 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I don’t know what the name is but I say go ahead and keep it anyways. A couple of scenarios from my family…

    I have one nephew named David, three cousins named David. My brothers name is David and I have one Grandfather and three Uncles named David. Lot’s of Davids and everything is fine. No one gets upset when they name another child David.

    But my Grandfather whose name is David named his first son David Jr. He had three total children with my Grandmother before leaving. When he left he met another woman and got married. Their first son he named David Jr. That’s crossing the line.

    I know David is a common name and if the name you are thinking of is more unique it may be a bit more difficult but none the less if you like the name use it. It’s like going into a store (ok not quite but I’ll say it anyways) and finding a pair of gorgeous shoes. You’re standing in line ready to buy the shoes but someone you know just bought them first. Will you put them back or rock them out anyways?

    You do have a right to get upset, you have a right to feel any way you feel. And I understand where you are coming from and why you feel upset, but don’t let them take away a name you’re in love with, it’s YOUR child, he deserves the name you pick for him and it wont make him any less special if someone else has the name first because I assure you someone somewhere in this world had the name before your nephew in law

    Post # 11
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @Milk and Honey:  same here! OP, please tell us!

    Post # 13
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Who says you can’t call dibs if you’re not pregnant? If you’ve been vocal for a while that’s a name that you definitely want if you have that gender and it’s important to you, your family should frickin respect that. I think your Brother-In-Law pulled a real dick move. It’s not a race to whoever has a baby first gets the name… it’s about not being an asshole to your family members. I disagree entirely with PP who have said you don’t have the right to be upset. You were vocal about your intent and are TTC. 

    I guess I’m totally in the minority but I think you absolutely can call dibs on a name, at least within your family.

    I think you should keep the name anyway. As PP have mentioned, it’s not uncommon to see the same name in a lot of families. 

    I’m really sorry this has been so upsetting to you and I hope you feel better. 🙁

    Post # 14
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am really sorry this happened to you.  


    This happened to me too- my brother and his wife took both the first and middle name I had wanted.  I felt silly at the time being upset because I was only 19 and nowhere near ready to get married.  My niece is now 10 and the best kid ever.  Of course I still love her name but it still bothers me how it happened.   I focus on the positive that she is blessed with a beautiful name and have not ruled out using it as well if I have a daughter someday.  I do not think it is weird for cousins to have the same name if you decide you want to use the name as well.  

    Post # 15
    1430 posts
    Bumble bee

    I know you can’t call “dibs” on baby names but if you were very vocal to your whole family about a name you love, and it isn’t a family name and they never spoke up saying” we love that name too, or we wanted to call our son that also” then I think thats a pretty crappy thing to do. You can’t change it now, but I am really sorry I know it is easy to get attatched to a name you love. Best of luck TTC and in the mean time start brainstorming new names and try your best to move forward and enjoy your new nephew.  



    Post # 16
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee

    I know it seems silly to call “dibs” on a name, but isn’t it also a little silly to hear someone constantly say how much they love a name and then use it anyway?

    I dont know, somethings weird about that.

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