(Closed) Husband’s Co-worker/Bud Cheated on His Preggie Fiancee at Bach. Party – Advice?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

my advice is to stay out of it.  i wouldnt say anything or volunteer any information.  unless she specifically asks you about it, mum.  and frankly, she probably will not ask you about it.  why would she?  if anything id be upset with my husband.  he came home and unloaded all this info on you b/c he felt guiltly.

the whole situation sucks and is very messy.  why dont men ever think about these things?

Post # 4
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d refer him to marriagebuilders and have him post there and ask advice on their forum.  Have you both tell him you know what he did and that you don’t approve. But somehow the Fiance needs to be told.  She has to know the truth, but I feel it’s best if it comes from her cheating Fiance.  Again that site I told you helps people thru stuff like that and also gives great suggestions on marriage building/keeping relationships strong.

They deal with this type of stuff there.  But enabling his friend even more by remaining mum about things isn’t helping either of them.  I would air my thoughts to him first and give him direction. 

I am so sorry for his fi.  That is so sad.  You feel bad enough when you’re in your first trimester.  I used to get sick just riding down the street in a car.

He got himself (Dh’s F) and he must be the one to work himself out of this situation and do all he can do to make amends and try to fix things.  Gosh this is sad.

Post # 6
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i dunno… i’d tell her.  woman to woman i’d feel an obligation to warn her before she goes marrying this creep.  it’s too bad they already have a kid together, no need to mess it up further by adding the complication of marriage to the situation.  i would definitely tell her.  

Post # 7
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I vote for dont tell her unless she asks.   But she really doesnt have a reason to ask you. Hopefully that her fiance is overcome with guilt and never never does this again and decides to make it up to her by waiting on her hand and foot and making her the happiest woman alive.  If he is a decent man he should be feeling very guilty right now.

Post # 8
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I wouldn’t say anything, simply because I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt that if she wanted, she could do her own detective work about something. She may be ABSOLUTELY fine with what happened (which is why he had a bachelor party with strippers) and it may cause her undue emotional distress.

Post # 9
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kemi82Justice of the Peace: I agree. Women need to stick together and I would scream it from the roof tops. If she chose to stay and end the friendship, at least I would know that I wasn’t carrying around that secret anymore.

Post # 10
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you should tell her. If my Fiance was out doing soemthing like that, to me cheating is a deal breaker, been there done that. If someone knew that my Fiance cheated or partially cheated, I would want to know.

Post # 11
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“I feel sorry for women who feel the need to strip, and don’t have a lot of respect for guys that get off on the exploitation of someone’s daughter, who often times has emotional issues that makes me sad to even think about.”

Thank you for writing this so eloquently. I used to be ok with it until my fiance got a lap dance at one. You put into words exactly how I feel about them now. Thanks

“especially with his knocked-up wife and two babies about 30 steps away” — WELL PUT. I would feel the SAME WAY. Imr eally getting sick of this strip club shit. I think when men get into a relationship strip clubs should be put in the same category as cheating. Im sick of how upset it makes all of us women.

 

I would say give it a little while. I think this snake of a man should have to come to terms with what he did, and live with the guilt for a few days, and realize himself that he needs to tell her. If in a week, (ask ur fiance to dig!) he hasnt told her, I would feel an obligation to tell her. they need to get some counceling before she pops the baby out!

 

And one more thing- what the F*** is WRONG with these strippers that they think its OKAY to HAVE SEX with the Bachelor who is GETTING MARRIED. These TYPES of strippers have ZERO morals and are hurting their fellow woman. I think they are absolutely disgusting. And I dont apologize for feeling this way!

 

 

Post # 12
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Miss Tattoo: I agree … just from personal exprience of my ex-husband cheating repeatedly and ppl knowing and not saying anything…I would have rather known from the beginning.

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