Husband's emotional affair – long

posted 12 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

This guy is garbage. Throw the trash out.

He’s sorry he got caught. Not to mention, how much money did he spend doing all of this? WTF.

Post # 32
Member
6885 posts
Busy Beekeeper

holy fuck bee. So many hugs to you. Your mother and friend are off their fucking rocker if they thnk he should have a second (third? fourth? 19th?) chance. He cheated with MULTIPLE different people and may be part of spreading around STIs! Disgusting husband, disgusting human. You deserve so much better. I hope you’ve healed up from your illness too.

Post # 34
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

undercover719 :  Good on you for saving all the screenshots. Make sure you back them up! Cloud is ideal, but 2 or 3 thumb drives in different physical locations is also good. You are smart, strong, and worthy of so much more. Hugs to you.

Post # 35
Member
3427 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry, Bee. He is garbage. You don’t deserve it. And there is no way this is just an emotional affair.

Post # 36
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

This is so much more than an emotional affair. This is a long running con job where he has repeatedly lied and done wrong things over and over and over again.

Please, divorce him and move on. Youve been through enough and you deserve better!!!

Post # 37
Hostess
9684 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Please get yourself checked out for STIs, and continue the no contact. When a person shows you who they are, believe them. 

Post # 38
Member
440 posts
Helper bee

You might have been tested but I would get it done again. Some take months to appear. 

Post # 40
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not someone who jumps to divorce instantly if someone cheats, but that’s really I think the only way to go here. 

There are people who cheat in moments of weakness in sort of perfect storms– a rough spot with a spouse combined with people someone who, under different circumstances, they might have genuinely been with, or someone going thru a midlife crisis where the affair is more about the road not taken blah blah.  I see more possibility to fix things (though no obligation on the betrayed spouse to want to), then.

But people who cheat multiple times with random people like that are not in that category. He was on dating websites. He was lying about being married. Etc. It was multiple women and he probably genuinely cared for absolutely none of them, which should provide no comfort  and is more disturbing. He won’t change. This is how he will always be. If he could lie so flagrantly for so long to so many of you, he will continue to lie to you. Get out. 

Post # 41
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Bee, I am so sorry this happened to you. Please STAY AWAY from this man! He has lied to you, cheated on you, and treated you like garbage multiple times over several years. This was not a one-time mistake. You have a daughter – please show her what it means to love and take care of yourself and to not accept this type of emotional abuse. Separate your finances and do anything you need to do to stay away from him permanently. Good luck bee, please keep us posted.

Post # 42
Member
4972 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

You’ve had 3 years of serious red flags and your crazy denials of everything to see the situation for what it is. I don’t understand how you feel you could be “watching in disbelief “. C’mon now. Look reality in the face and stop wasting your life away on this serial cheater. 

Post # 43
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

manylovesbee1 :  I was in no way trying to steer it in different direction.

Post # 44
Member
379 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry this has all happened to you especially when dealing with a health issue. I think you should continue to not take his calls and messages. Don’t listen to anything he has to say. I have seen someone very close to me deal with the same things you have explained …dating profiles, WhatsApp, having MANY women texting and messaging and meeting with. She tried to give her husband chance after chance but honestly he never changed. I just feel like once someone has gotten deep into the online dating world while in a marriage it’s hard for them to come out of it. He probably loves all the attention he gets from women and the internet makes it easy for him to get that attention from many different women at a time rather then just seeing one in person every now and then. Don’t give him any more chances I think you’ve already given him way more than he deserves. Focus on yourself and let yourself heal from this and move on….if you allow him, he will just hurt you again and again 🙁 undercover719 :  

Post # 45
Member
4314 posts
Honey bee

Emotional affair? Try just plain old affair because this guy is lying as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow. Divorce him, he’s awful. Really, really awful. Do not take him back, he’s the kind of man who can’t be trusted, plus your health would be at risk.

He’s a lying sack of shit.

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