Post # 916
marine15 : I know you are going to get a LOT of advice. However, 2 things….yoga and meditation work wonders. I promise. It will give you time to clear your head. I feel such an affinity for your posts and I’ve been in this situation. Please feel free to DM me. Your responses have been very composed and you so clearly are navigating this with grace.
Post # 917
marine15 : please do not talk to him about the divorce proceedings until you seek the advice of the solicitor. They will guide you.
Post # 918
marine15 : Let HIM do the legwork of coming up with all the reasons why you should be entitled to as little of the marital property as possible.
Look, you might be right that BY HIMSELF he might be inclined to act fair or even generous, out of guilt or vestiges of feelings for you or what the eff ever. Thing is, he is NOT by himself, is he?
I mean do you think SHE would tell him to be fair to you? How considerate has she been of your feelings thus far?? Who has he been listening to so far, you or her???
Talk to a lawyer yesterday.
Post # 919
You’re doing so well OP. You sound like such a lovely and thoughtful and gentle girl. Things will turn out okay, it will just take time. Try separate your emotion from the legal advice. Your rights as his wife still stand, regardless of how you feel about him or how you think he feels about you. There’s no shame in taking what you’re entitled to, and I definitely think don’t tell him about seeing a solicitor.
One step at a time! You’re doing really well
Post # 920
camenae : happyjuju : Thank you. I don’t think he’ll involve her in the process though. Well, I can’t say with certainty, but it would be strange if he takes her advice on how to split marital assets, etc. I am meeting lawyers tomorrow.
I slept for an hour and now I’m awake again. It’s been the same pattern ever since I found the texts last week. It’s like one long nightmare. Plus, as Sunday approaches, I feel more and more anxious and distraught, because once my husband leaves this house, that’ll be the end of our marriage, irrespective of when the divorce actually takes place.
Before I went to sleep, I went to the other room where my husband is temporarily living, and asked him to please be more considerate and thoughtful, and please don’t rush your ex into your old flat, as it would be like a slap in the face. He was surprised, and said that he hadn’t been planning on immediately moving her in and wasn’t sure why I would assume the same. So I said you don’t have any such plans, to which he said that well, it might happen a little later on but that he was not going get her to live with him straight after leaving from here.
I really hope he actually follows through with what he assured me of tonight.
Post # 921
marine15 : Given how much she’s been interfering already, calling him at home and so on, I would not put it past her to try to meddle in your divorce. This type of thing happens all the time, so please brace yourself for that. If she gets in his head and convinces him to be unfair to you, he will become a man you don’t even recognize.
Post # 922
- Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA
marine15 : He’s already thinking about moving in with someone he hasn’t been with in over two years? For all he knows she’s changed completely since then.
Post # 923
Fuckin hell, I hate him more with every update. He had the nerve to tell you he’s not sure why you’d “assume” he would move in with his ex right away, as though you’re acting paranoid with such an idea? But then two seconds later says “it might happen a little later”??? What a piece of shit. Of course you’re assuming that…anyone with a brain would assume it. He cheated on you with her and now has been brazenly texting her all day in front of you, taking her calls in front of you…but yeah, moving her into his flat, what a wild assumption for you to make! I’m sure that’s where he’ll totally draw the line since he’s been so good at drawing lines thus far. DOUCHEBAG.
Post # 924
marine15 : He basically just admitted they were in a full on relationship then. Already.
Post # 925
You’ve gotten a lot of legal advice here but I really want to stress how important it is to take care of your mental health. It sounds like you aren’t getting any sleep which is so important, especially as you are dealing with so much right now.
Have you been getting out of the house much? It could be good for you to maybe meet up with some friends (you don’t have to tell them what’s going on) or go out with you mom. Just get away from the house and your husband.
Post # 926
Whatever you do, just STAY. IN. THE. DAMN. HOUSE!
I made the mistake of leaving for ONE night when sh*t hit the fan and within matter of few hours, my ex-hole LOCKED me out with our 2 year old! All of the kids’ belongings (and it was middle of winter!) was there!
And it took hell over high water for me to get a Godddamn order to re-enter my own goddamn house! I am in Canada so our laws are quite similar. Even though we ‘borrow’ a lot of laws from USA.
Post # 927
Post # 928
coffeebean87 : tiffanybruiser : sf618 : I think he was trying to tell me to that it might happen, and that it might happen soon (assuming how things go, I guess), but that he wasn’t immediately going to move her in because he only met her again last week.
And yes, she could potentially influence him I suppose, even though it’s none of her business. The only reason she would have to do such a thing would be to perhaps have a go at me. She has no other reason to try and get involved.
hikingbride : I went out for a walk earlier but feeling too low to go anywhere to meet people. I had a coffee at work with a few colleagues that I get on with but don’t feel like doing anything at the moment. It just feels easier to be on my own trying to process what to do and what is going on. I think it hasn’t fully sunk in on one level. Maybe I will try to go out somewhere tomorrow to distract myself. I watched a film on Netflix earlier today and that helped a little. I will try to get something prescribed to help me sleep better because I’m feeling exhausted.
Post # 929
Do NOT talk to your husband prior to your meeting with lawyers or even share with him that you went. Unlike where I live, you have to prove fault. Let the professional do his or her job and advise you every step of the way. You are paying them for the benefit of all their years of knowledge and experience.
If you are so worried about his reaction to you seeking representation, then you need that lawyer even more than you think you do!
Post # 930
queenie8119 : That sounds absolutely awful and I’m sorry that happened to you. I do have to go out tomorrow for my appointments though, so need to be out for a while. I don’t think he’ll lock me out and frankly, with the kind of schedule he has, he doesn’t even have time to even if he were to think about it. He began packing so it seems he just wants to go away from here asap anyway.