Husband's ex who he deeply loved has been contacting him and I feel lost

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3022 posts
Sugar bee

marine15 :  thats great! It will be a fresh new start and you can decorate just how you like! 

so glad to hear you are doing well xx 

Post # 3
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

The support on this thread is beautiful. I am so sorry that this happened.. how shitty and disappointing. I am glad you are able to leave an unsatisfying situation so easily.

They’ll get what they deserve. It’s a shame that your marriage fell apart so quickly due to their selfishness and lack of control.

Post # 3
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

This is so exciting Bee! You seem to be coping really well 🙂 And yay for a shorter commute to work!

Post # 3
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

rockclimberbride :  

They’ve already gotten what they deserve—each other.

Post # 3
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

marine15 :  I don’t know you at all but your honesty, openness and willingness to seek help speaks volumes about your character.  I’m so impressed.  In the weakest moment of your life so far you were capable of handling it this way?  That’s remarkable. 

When this has faded into the background, you are going to outshine the hell out of these two idiots.  Obviously they deserve each other, and their relationship will always be tainted by this.  I mean he rejected her for you in the past.  They may love each other but it just won’t be the same.  I sense a damp cloud hovering over their future, even if the relationship is successful.  Your future one won’t be.  It’ll be filled with experience, strength and wisdom. 

I wish you could see yourself the way we see you.  Standing up high on a pillar, the other two so far below you one cannot make out their faces. 

  • This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by  bridetobe2018. Reason: grammar because I suck
Post # 3
Member
386 posts
Helper bee

I’ve just read all 93 pages, and….wow!

I can see at the beginning a woman that is so timid and scared of this situation, to a woman that is strong and independent, focusing on HER life with future pets and a new apartment.

I don’t know you but I feel so proud of you! I identify with your quiet demeanor and you are possibly the best example I’ve ever seen of ‘handling with dignity’.

Seriously hope you’re feeling like yourself and excited to see where this new chapter of your life will take you.

Plus moving closer to a city means more opportunity for a social life that isn’t only mutual friends with your Ex, maybe even seeing cute guys while walking your (soon to be) dogs?

Post # 3
Member
530 posts
Busy bee

marine15 :  So happy to read your update. I am glad that you are still doing so well & yay for finalizing a place that will be a shorter commute to & from work bee! 

Post # 3
Member
10568 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

marine15 :  

When I left my abusive ex, I moved out of our lovely home.  He certainly wasn’t going anywhere and I wasn’t up to pushing it.

So, I found myself a very inexpensive little cottage.  It was teeny and out in the sticks, but nice.  And, it had a fireplace! I just knew this was exactly where I needed to go to heal.  So I bought it for cash.  I needed that extra sense of security, that I would never be without a home.

I had so much fun fixing that little place up!  My paint color choices were questionable, to say the very least. I ordered drapes and got creative, even though I was still in a lot of pain from the split.

I left the ex in May. Sometime around the holidays, Dh found me on a dating site. His son would be staying with him during Christmas, but he wanted to meet once that was all over.

And, he contacted me, just as he said he would, in January.

The absolutely most fun times we have ever had together were at that little house. We got tipsy and goofy. We stayed up till 3 am. We sat out on the picnic table and watched the dogs play.  Just fun.

Eventually, it was time to move back to civilization. I don’t mind telling you that I made a handsome profit when I sold the cottage.

Post # 3
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

marine15 :  I just wanted to chime in and reassure you that you will learn to trust again. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now. Do what you need to do to heal and move on. Do a lessons learned, but don’t beat yourself up. 

Then one day, you’ll meet someone and it’ll feel different. You’ll take it slow (lesson learned) and you’ll keep your eyes open for any potential red flags. But you’ll see just how wrong your Ex is for you once you are in a better relationship. 

And the other take away from this is, You Survived. The worst thing you could ever think happened to you and…you survived. And you’ll come out of this stronger and better. (Hugs)

Post # 3
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

So proud of you lady! The future is bright for you. Best of luck!

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