Post # 1
Sorry for the length, I need to just rant and get this off my chest and if I rant to my husband (we’re newly married) then hes just gonna tell me I’m being catty and to let it go. BUT
Background: Ok so I met my husband a month after his first wife left him. In my defense their marriage had been over for a long time prior to her leaving so it wasnt like I was being a homewrecker or keepng them from working things out. That being said, we met on Christmas and that following New Years he spent with me instead of her, prompting her to overdose and end up in a psych ward/rehab until May. We had really nice couple of months there.
She gets out of rehab and starts harassing him with youre my husband youre supposed to be there for me blah blah blah bullsh*t. She had cheated on him and walked out on him. She then continues to harass him about me and bad mouth me and claim that she wants him back and stuff all while sleeping with other men from her rehab. She also starts harassing me on facebook saying he doesnt love me, that i should stay away from her husband. By The Way she is living in VA during this time (where she had run off to live with some guy after she left him) while he had separated from active duty Navy and moved to NY to be with me.
Fast forward to December 2012, she contacts me via facebook with more of the same, he doesn’t love me and he is her husband and such. Their divorce was pending in court. We get engaged and their divorce become final which i had great satisfaction in telling her.
Now Evil Ex has not defriended my husbands family on facebook. She refuses to and honestly his dad just cant figure it out. His dad “liked” one of her photos prompting her to message me about it saying that we are harassing her and congrats to me on being a second wife. All the while tlling me I am STILL just a rebound and he doesn’t love me and blah blah blah. I’m not a mean person and I handled it by telling her that their marriage is what my husband regards as the biggest mistake of his life and I’m not bothered by it, he had to kiss a few frogs kinda thing.
I am just annoyed that she continuely harasses us. My husband has blocked her number from our phones and i’ve blocked her on facebook and she keeps finding ways to get around it. I’m not sure what to do anymore. I forgot to mention she is diagnosed as borderline personality disorder and in her case that plays a big role in her actions towards us. I have a degree in forensic psychology so I understand shes sick which is why I’ve been as nice as I have been. But I really want to not be the bigger person anymore and just tell her to go eff herself. We’ve moved on, why can’t she? This isn’t her first marriage that failed, my husband was her second marriage.
I am so angry that she won’t just leave us alone and the things that she says to me. My husband said to ignore her but you can only be talked to like that so much beore you break.
Post # 3
@shootznladrz89: Stop. Engaging. Her. This woman is looking for a response from you and you are giving her one. This is just like dealing with a bratty bully: it’s all for attention, and if you take that away, she’ll have no motivation to continue. People like her will take any response they can get, even if it is a negative one.
Block her on facebook, change your email, and get new numbers if she contacts you that way. If she won’t stop and you are truly serious about stopping her, it is very easy to get a restraining/harassment order, which she will probably violate. Maybe that would give her a reality check that you are done participating in this pissing match.
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@shootznladrz89: How is she getting around being blocked by you on Facebook?
I think any response you give her is just feeding it for her so you do just need to ignore it like your husband says.
Post # 5
People like that thrive on attention and generating drama. Do NOT respond to her at all. However, I would post as many happy pics of DH and you on FB as humanly possible. I guarantee it will drive her nuts!
Post # 6
@shootznladrz89: Regarding your comment about “being nice” to her:
“I’m not a mean person and I handled it by telling her that their marriage is what my husband regards as the biggest mistake of his life and I’m not bothered by it, he had to kiss a few frogs kinda thing.”
^^^This is not what the average person would consider a “nice” response: there is no way to say that that wouldnt be inflammatory toward the average person, much less someone with a psychological issue.
Again, you have to take away her incintive to keep bothering you.
Post # 7
I was trying to be nice to a point, I said that after months of her doing this.
She has been known to create random new facebooks just to message us. You guys are all right, I shouldn’t be engaging her, it just becomes so frustrating not being able to defend myself.
@trueblue14: his family has been “sharing” pictures i post of us which makes me smile knowing they pop up in her newsfeed lol
Post # 8
My ex-bf’s ex wife was exactly like this. She was F***ing crazy. Did all of what you’ve listed here and much more. We changed our phone numbers, moved, and got rid of any possible way she could contact us except for his email, which he needed since he was trying to finalize divorce proceedings.
STOP talking to her. Altogether. She keeps doing it because you keep responding. If she can’t get a rise out of you, there’s no point anymore. I know, harder than it sounds, but if I can do it, you can. The chick that did this to me was as insulting as you could possibly get, and it BOILED my blood, but you have to let it go, no matter how hard it is. Badmouth her to your friends all you want (since you’re going to need to vent somewhere), but don’t do it to her.
And yes, she’s sick – she can’t simply “move on” like you and I can. She would need help to do so, which, I’d imagine, she probably thinks she doesn’t need.
Also, your husband NEEDS to talk to his family and explain the gravity of the situation and what it’s doing to you guys. They all need to de-friend her and stop contact as well. She is obviously a toxic person; I don’t know why they would think it’s okay to still be in contact with her.
Post # 9
I would just stop giving her attention and responding at all, forget she exists… if she contacts you, pretend it’s the wrong number. DO NOT respond anything at all, not nice, or mean, just don’t… hopefully she will find the 3rd husband and start bothering him.
Post # 10
i have a crazy ex best friend who acts like this and the best thing to do is seriously ignore her. my ex best friend has sent me the most provoking worst texts and messages EVER and it’s hard to ignore but i will NOT give her the validation or attention which is exactly what she wants.
ya can’t fight crazy so don’t bother trying.
Post # 11
It amazes me some familys have to be “convinced” by their sons to unfriend these lunatics: I have been nicely mentioning to my BF for awhile that I’d appreciate it if members of his family could PLEASE unfriend one of his criminally crazy exes that he’s been seperated from for 10 years, but he always has told me I’M being crazy…until we found out she recently decided to move from an hour away to 3 minutes from our place. Now he’s planning to chat with them about it.
Post # 12
why on earth would you ever have been talking to her? …for months – and after she was rude to you? you are aware that you can block someone on facebook? i don’t understand how you can be annoyed by her behaviour – you knew exactly how it would go, and you didn’t stop it. so yeah, it sucks, but you could have handled it completely differently and the stoy would have been,
‘my husband’s ex wife was contacting me on facebook saying innapropriate things. I let her know that I wasn’t interested in having this discussion and blocked her from contacting me’
edit – sorry didn’t see that you had blocked her on facebook – i think there’s a way that you can block people who are not friends, or friends of friends from contacting you at all on facebook.
other than that – i would consider a no contact order. or change your name on facebook to ‘mrs lastname’ or ‘first name middle name’ so she can’t find you as easily.
Post # 13
YES!! I don’t get it either! How do they not get that bitches be crazy!? Haha. Sorry to hear about that… I hope his family understands. It’s really not okay, and you would not have to ask me twice (or even at all) if the roles were reversed for me and a family member.
Post # 15
@shootznladrz89: Two words: Restraining Order.
Post # 16
@shootznladrz89: Um, it doesn’t sound like you’ve been the bigger person at all. While I’m not defending the actions of the ex-wife, you did choose to start seeing a married man and get engaged to him before his divorce was even final. So…yeah, that sort of thing tends to create some drama and the fact that you choose to engage her and taunt her right back says to me you’re kind of enjoying it.
My advise? BE the bigger person and IGNORE her. The more you engage, the more drama you buy yourself. If she and your in-laws want to be facebook friends – that’s none of your business. Just leave it alone and try to live in peace.
If you don’t feed the drama, hopefully she will eventually get bored and just move on.