Post # 1
OK I’ll make this as short as possible. So April 21st 2012 my husband proposed to me. We were so excited and everything was great. Still is of course. Two weeks after he proposed we went to a restaurant/bar. My at the time fiance was playing the drums with his band at the restaurant. His parents came by all excited asking to see the ring and all. We were having a great time. Then it came time for him to load up his drums and us to go home.
I was standing outside waiting for him, I was in the front where they have a bunch of tables for smokers. I am (I know I gotta stop and plan to soon) a smoker. He and I were hanging out outside for a few minutes before he went to get his drums and load them in the car. As soon as he walked inside this girl starts talking about him.
She starts telling everyone at her table, and loudly I should add, that he used to be her boyfriend. They went out and his parents absolutely adored her and wished they wouldn’t have broken up. That they thought her and him were just the cutest couple etc. She kept going on and was saying all of this very loudly. This is the same girl who in the first 6 months of dating (when I worked with my husband) her parents came to our work and knowing he and I were together proceeded to tell me their daughter used to date him and they were just the cutest couple in the world. And they wished he and she never broke up. Ugh.
So at the restaurant this girl just keeps talking and talking and talking about all the details of when she was in a relationship with my husband. And she was talking so loud you could hear her when we were at the car. She was looking at me out the corner of her eye a lot so I know she was hoping I heard her.
I got upset. I know I know, but I got upset. I trust my husband but I’m a bit animalistic when it comes to him. When someone tries to get in the middle of my relationship I’m ready to attack. But I didn’t. I’m 25 not 15, so I just let it go.
Now two weeks after our wedding and all of a sudden she pops up again. Sent my husband a friend request on facebook. He told me about it and denied the request and says he thinks she’s trying to stir up the pot and cause drama. Says she’s taking things a bit too far. He knows her so if he’s saying this I’m guessing it’s true. He denied her request but I’m guessing this isn’t the last time we will hear from her. They were never close, and after their breakup they hadn’t talked in years. She made no effort to contact him or anything of the sort until he and I were engaged.
I was half tempted to send her an email nicely saying “You know, I know my husband is a catch and all but he’s with me now and we’d both appreciate it if you would just get over it and move on with your life” but again, I’m 25 not 15. Although I’ll admit that upon first seeing that friend request of hers I wanted to go all kung fu, I wouldn’t actually ever do that.
So I’m here partly to vent because… Ugh… I want this chick to go away! But also because I want opinions on if I should say something or just leave her be. I know it will continue and we will hear from her again, do I wait for that time or just go ahead and shoo her away before she continues?
Post # 3
@kris325: Honestly, it isn’t YOUR ISSUE. It belongs to your Husband.
HE is the one who has to tell her in no uncertain terms to back off.
HE is the one who has to set / make the boundary very very clear to her.
Other than that, there isn’t much else to be done than IGNORE her.
She is being immature and stupid… she looks like the fool.
As for you, you have to leave it alone (ya I know its hard, even tho you are 25 not 15)
BUT she is looking for you to go all Ape-Sh!t, it is what she wants…
She’s a Drama Queen, she wants drama. Don’t satisfy her… don’t give it to her.
Let your guy handle it… he’ll do just fine.
(( HUGS ))
Hope this helps,
Post # 4
Don’t play into her hand. I agree that it’s ur husbands issue and really if he feels uncomfortable then think about a restraining order because this is like harassment btwn her and her parents. I would deff have my husband to try handle it civilly but there is always a back up.
Post # 5
I think you should let it go. This sounds like an unattached woman who has had to swallow the bitter pill that your husband did not pick her. I was left behind once too. I was seething inside but I didn’t act like this woman.
I doubt that she will escalate her behavior because most people begin to realize just how ridiculous they look when no one is responding.
If she does come up to you, however, and starts to get in your face, then I would be firm with her. I would do the same with her parents.
If you can avoid these people, all the better.
Post # 6
@kris325: Don’t get sucked into her games! Any response from you will gratify her. Do not email her or make any contact with her at all.
Your husband has done the right thing as far as I can tell. He didn’t talk to her at the bar and he denied her friend request. (But he should block her too – ask him to do that). I think it’s ok.
Post # 7
Y’all are right. I’ll talk to my husband and let him handle this. I know he chose me, we are married and I’m thrilled about that. Doesn’t mean I want to hear the intimate details of the ones he didn’t choose though. She’s not the only one who has done something similar as well, this small town we live in has got some real psycho females. But this one chick wont go away, I’ll let my husband shoo her away
Post # 8
Just drop kick her already.
Ok maybe not, but this is his battle, not yours. And the victory, well, has already been established.
Post # 9
Don’t give her the attention she’s seeking. that only empowers her to do more nonsense…and probably tell half the world about his crazy new fiancé contacted her.
You’re the one he proposed to…no reason to get ” animalistic” about it.
maybe now is the perfect time to quit smoking so you don’t run into her on smoky patios?
Post # 10
Clearly your best option is to just let it go 🙂 And you’re exactly right…he chose YOU, not this obnoxious, skanky, no-class tramp! Even though you weren’t in an intentional battle with this girl, you have won! Just relish in your silent victory and let her go on displaying how pathetic and miserable she is. Nothing irks chicks like this more than to see a woman who is classy enough to walk away from their tauntings with a big ole smile on her face and her head held high, arm-in-arm with the man that said chick wishes she could have 😉 She’s trying to beat you in a game that you have no interest in playing, so let her wear herself out and eventually she’ll just fade into the background. Stay strong! She’s got nothing on you! 😉
Post # 11
She’s obviously trying to stir up some drama! I would just try my best to ignore it, I know it’s not easy at all, but if you trust your hubby, trust him to handle it and not fall into this cray-cray’s trap!
Post # 12
@kris325: The BEST way to get back at people like this prize douchebag is to move on with your life and be HAPPY. Just ignore her and live a glorious life – it will KILL her.
Post # 13
You should not say something – you’re right, you’re not 15, so PLEASE don’t get all caught up in a ‘Back off, he’s MINE, bitch!’ catfight. Your guy denied her friend request. If she sends him any messages he can politely respond telling her they haven’t been close since their breakup and he really doesn’t feel it’s appropriate for them to be in touch nor does he want any kind of relationship with her, then block her. If she approaches him in public he should brush her off and exit the situation. But there is nothing you can do here that isn’t going to come across as a territorial high schooler. He married you, you won, stop worrying about this other girl!
Post # 14
Y’all are right, I wont say anything. If she continues he will block her. Better yet he should just go ahead and block her now
Post # 15
@kris325: Yeah, I agree that it’s probably a good idea for him to just block her now. He doesn’t want any contact with her, so there’s no reason not to.
Post # 16
iagree,and next time you bump into her at the bar,in front of her you and husband have a long sexy kiss right in front of her,then look at her,smile and say to her”i know you wish you could have that,sorry about your luck”then laugh and walk away.then say or do nothing again,but only do above if she does not leave him alone.