(Closed) Husband’s friend insists on bringing wife to Boys’ Weekend — Opinions Please!

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
221 posts
Helper bee

Although I totally understand where you are coming from, and I completely agree that this woman is being rediculous about this entire situation (throughout the history of your relationship with your husband), I am still of the opinion that you should stay out of it. If you don’t then you are not any better than the woman you are frustrated with. She obviously can’t stay out of her husband’s business (or anyone elses!) and that is not the type of person you want to be. Your husband is a big boy. He can handle this on his own.

Post # 4
1133 posts
Bumble bee

That would be EXTRA awkward if he does bring her…she would be the only woman there…I wouldn’t want to go with my husband to a boys weekend, at ALL. Weird. I mean I wouldn’t turn them away but I would definitely pull the friend aside and tell him hey man why did you bring your wife etc. Let it be known that it was a stupid move. Does he have a reason that he HAS to bring her?? I mean, just doesnt make any sense to me.

Post # 5
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Lie. And tell Teddy that you’ll be home that weekend and  there is absolutely no room for his wife. If she wants to tag along they can get a hotel room, because there is not enough room for both of them in your house. In My Humble Opinion if she wants to be mean and nasty there is no reason for you bend over backwards to accomodate her.

Post # 6
8 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

if he cant go without his wife he shouldnt go at all – its called a ‘boys weekend’ for a reason

Post # 8
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That is tricky. Part of me says your hubby should just un-invite Teddy from the weekend completely… which would cause drama no doubt. But then another part of me says let him bring her along… You won’t have to be there to deal with her, she would be either bored out of her mind or completely uncomfortable the whole time.

Post # 9
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like the lady is very insecure. I think she doesn’t want her husband to go without him because of a couple reasons ( although I could be wrong). 1) She thinks maybe you will be there, and perhaps your husband is lying about it being a boys weekend and doesn’t want to be left out. 2) She doesn’t trust her husband to be alone with just the guys. 3) she is afraid that the guys will bad talk her.

I don’t think there is anything you can do. It’s your husbands friend. However, if you want to give your husband advice, tell him to call Teddy, and let him know its a guys weekend only, and he can come alone, or not come at all. He can tell Teddy it is no disrespect to the wives or his wife specifically, but the weekend he planned was for him and his closest friends.

The only other option I can think of, is to replan it for a couples weekend, where the girls and guys get together. Although, I relaize this would be tough considering you don;t get along with teddy’s wife.

Post # 10
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you should tell your husband to talk to Teddy and have a quick – 2 minute conversation.

Something like:  

Husband:  Just wanting to make a final decision about our boys only weekend.  Are you in or are you out?

Teddy:  (whining of course) I’m in if I can bring my wife.

Husband:  Ok.  Then I’m marking you down as a no.  If you change your mind, let us know, but we are planning without you.  

If Teddy doesn’t back down and keeps whining and trying to convince him – tell your husband just say: “I think I’ve made myself clear.  I don’t want to have this discussion anymore.  I’ll talk to you later”.  

and HANG UP.

There’s no reason he needs to be talking about this for 40 minutes!

Post # 11
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry but is anyone else besides me bothered with this woman’s history? OP was there a relationship at all between the 2 of them prior to you bc to me she’s seems a little obsessed with your husband. Does she do this with other friends? My husband would be bothered and questioning why I insisted on attending a guys only weekend not to mention texting his friends about their personal lives. I would uninvite him in the end. 

Post # 12
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MissGreen:  I too think Teddy’s wife sounds inappropriately interested in the goings on of the OP’s husband.  I don’t know why OP’s hubby is still friends with Teddy if his wife is behaving that way.  It’s…weird.  She sounds jealous of the OP and the way she always wants OP’s husband around makes me think she’s got the hots for him.

Post # 13
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

“If you can’t come without Trisha then please don’t come at all.”

Post # 14
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow this sounds kinda familiar in a group of friends Darling Husband and I have- the one guy’s wife is a total bummer and has him on a short leash, but he’ll invite her to guys’ night outtings for reasons no one else can fathom. If I was your husband, I’d tell dearest Teddy to leave the lady at home, or don’t bother coming at all. She sounds like a total wench and he needs to put his foot down. I loathe women like her. She gives “wife” a negative connotation.

Post # 15
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is totally weird. I wouldn’t want her in my house while I wasn’t home either, she sounds a little loopy. If my Fiance were gone for a “boys weekend” I would enjoy my down time! Go shopping for an extra long shopping trip, have my GFs over for wine and junk food etc etc. I certainly would not want to show up at a boys weekend 3.5 hours from my house where I am not wanted and be the only woman there. If Teddy insists on bringing her maybe your Darling Husband should just invite the other friend only to avoid the wife. What did you decide to do?

Post # 16
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I agree with the wife sounding way too connected to the OP’s husband. He can come alone or not at all, and if he does drag her along then tell them they can stay at a hotel.

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