Husband's Friend Taking Over Our House And Marriage

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
4111 posts
Honey bee

petittaam :  question 1: why can’t your husband hang out at Bill’s house instead??

Question 2: what does your husband say when you express your frustration about Bill?

Post # 3
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Are you certain your husband and Bill aren’t more than friends? It seems insane that a man would choose never to spend time with or have sex with his wife in favour of hanging out with another guy.

is there only one tv in the house? Start reserving it and say you really want to watch something so bill can’t come over and play video games.

Post # 4
7644 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it was me, I’d fight fire with fire and invite my mother or sister (or both!) over without warning him. Maybe then he’ll appreciate how inappropriate and invasive this is. Or, I’d flick the power switch. Childish perhaps, but this needs drastic action.

Post # 7
4009 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

If I were you that shit would have come to an end.. LIKE YESTERDAY.

i feel like your post is so ridiculous. Your husband doesn’t give a shit about you and you’re letting him walk all over you. Get some balls and tell him either bill stays away or hes moving out and he can go marry bill.


Post # 8
6789 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

This is such bullshit! I’d be soooo pissed at my husband if I was in your shoes. He is not respecting you AT ALL. What do you say when Bill comes over? Because I would not be one to sit by quietly with this shit going on. I’d straight up tell Bill that he needs to leave. Then I’d have a long talk with my husband and tell him that this needs to end NOW. 

Post # 9
696 posts
Busy bee

Yeah hard no on all of this. My home is my space. I don’t even let majority of my friends over because I get so uncomfortable having people in my space.

Your husband needs to respect your feelings, this would really upset me.  I agree with the others I would just start inviting people over without asking him. I’d probably go next level and sit with no bra in just a tshirt and underwear watching girly shows all night to make things real uncomfortable. 

It seems like your husband feels like his house is more comfortable to entertain in, so I’d make it uncomfortable. Maybe hide the wire to the video game box. Normally I wouldn’t advice to be so passive aggressive and petty, but if you’ve talked to your husband multiple times and he just walks all over you, it’s time to up your seriousness.

Post # 10
9610 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is a husband problem, not a friend problem. Your husband is being incredibly selfish and putting this friendship above your marriage. This is your home too and you are entitled to having a say in when people are over. And your husband should be respectful of your feelings on this matter. Basically your husband is being an ass.

I can’t remember ever advising this before but I have no idea what else to tell you: I’d give him an ultimatum. He can either start acting like a husband and prioritizing you and your marriage or he can get the hell out.

He’s a grown man, you shouldn’t have to teach him how to respect you, your home, and your time. You shouldn’t have to tell him not to behave this way. You shouldn’t have to play passive-agressive games. You shouldn’t have to tell him over and over again how you feel just to have him ignore you over and over again. You’ve made yourself clear, he’s ignored you repeatedly. 

Post # 11
1566 posts
Bumble bee

 hikingbride :  +1,000

Pettittam, stop being a doormat and demand some respect and a partner that is invested in your marriage.


Post # 12
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Holy crap! I always ask my husband if my single friend wants to come over and hang. He has said no many times bc he was too tired or in his pjs and didn’t feel like having someone in the house. I straight up told me friend sorry but Darling Husband doesn’t really want company right now. Done. I would never dream of inviting anyone over without asking him. Sorry but your dh  obviously is completely clueless on common decency of living with another person. How ridiculous and selfish to not even think that he should ask you. 

Post # 13
11771 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

 I’d be tempted to change the locks and let him know when he wants to be a husband, let me know. I would not tolerate being kept up night after night when I have to work. 

Post # 14
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Cheekie0077 :  I second this!

petittaam :  I’m usually not a fan of giving ultimatums in a marriage, but in this case, I think you need to because your husband just seems clueless. Put your foot down and draw a very firm line. Make it clear that either Bill needs to keep his visits down to a minimum, otherwise he can pack bags and go move in with Bill.

Post # 15
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

If your husband will not say anything I would just be like, “Hey Bill, when are you leaving? Soon I hope.. Husband I have some overdue business to take care of *wink wink nudge nudge* See you later!”

Also, if you have the financial flexibility, I would pack an overnight bag & go stay at a hotel. Maybe they’ll get the hint. Maybe not, but at least you’d be getting a restful nights sleep.

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