(Closed) Husband’s “funky moods”

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
9096 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Mrs. Boots:

Is he open to seeing  professional?  I must say, I think that is your next step.  I don’t think anyone can dx him via keyboard, no matter how well intentioned.

If he won’t go, maybe it would be wise for your to get some counseling & support.

Post # 4
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I was going to say this sounds like he may be bipolar (I am not a doctor, only am expressing this due to having friends who are bipolar and have similar symptoms.)

It sounds like he recognizes that something is off, which is great (some people won’t admit that anything is off) so I would suggest he visit a professional to ease his mind and help determine why he is feeling this way each month.

Post # 6
Member
9096 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think knowing the family history of chemical imbalance it would be smart to seek a professional opinion.

And I do think getting some support for yourself is a good idea.

Post # 7
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband gets like this (so do i). He’s got borderline depression but it’s not like he’s on medicine for it. He just gets very “whatever” for a few days. Then he’s fine.

Honestly? It’s not a big deal for us. I have days I don’t care and just want to loll on the couch, too. I’ve realized on those days there isn’t anything i can do to help him except give him a hug and say “okay if you need/want anything, lemme know”. You really cannot bug him with “what can i do? how can i help? what’s wrong?” because it totally makes it worse. I know i don’t like to be bugged if i’m in a funk. Just let me sit and stew, ya know?

But a few days out of every couple of months doesn’t sound like a reason for treatment. He acknowledges he’s in a funk at least.

If it becomes longer, more intense, or becomes more problematic, i’d probably ask him to see a doctor. I’ve always known Darling Husband had depression tendencies. If it ever becomes an inhibitor in our relationship or communication breaks down, we made a deal that i’m allowed to make him get treatment. He functions just fine–some days he just needs a little more space than others.

Post # 9
Member
9096 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

IMO it’s a shame if he is suffering from depression, which could be treated but isn’t.  I hate to see anyone suffer needlessly.

I know from personal experience how depression feels & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

 

Post # 10
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree it’s scary. I had the same concerns myself–it’s okay now, but what if it gets worse. Sometimes it’s easier to see these things from the outside, though and he needs to know that. He needs to know it’s not fair to you, either, to be with someone who won’t get treatment if it’s needed. It’s not fair to you or your future family if you have kids. 

Good luck! It’s a little bit of an awkward conversation, but it’ll be so much better afterwards. Peace of mind!

Post # 11
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Mrs. Boots: It sounds like although its not a big deal now, you should keep an eye on it. 

Maybe when he’s not in one of those “funks” you talk to him about the fact you are worried about these funks getting worse.  Maybe have him agree now that if they get worse he 1) is honest with you and tells you they are getting worse/more frequent and 2) if it gets to a certain point he seeks assistance. 

Post # 12
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

…………… you guys know that men have a 90 day cycle, right?

Not to mention, it has been shown in the literature that male hormones can be responsive to female fecundity phases.

The topic ‘Husband’s “funky moods”’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors