Post # 1
I recently made a post about saying no to guardianship of my husband’s half sisters. We are telling them this weekend (husband is, not me). Today I received and email from his step mom about preventing autism.
She said “as you know. Your husband probably carries the trait seeing as how his sisters and one of his cousins are autistic. I recommend (she went on list about healthy eating etc..) Then said or honestly no kids at all…” The e mail was very extensive she went to say previous medical problems I had could cause it and etc. (Kidney problems).
What in the world???!?
Here’s the background on the kids that do have autism in my husband family. My FIL and his brother both got married young and had children (out of six none of them had autism). They both remarried new ladies and had children after 40 (all those kids have autism) also the ladies they remarried have had a family member with some time of mental disorder.
Although I have gone over the information in my head I feel nervous to even start my own family. My husband said that she probably anticipated us saying no to guardianship because we might want to have kids. So she is trying to freak me out so I’ll take care of HER kids instead.
I’m still very shaken up ladies, because I never asked for advice on this matter to her and it was a random abrupt email.
Post # 2
That is just so random. Unless she’s a doctor, geneticist, or has a crystal ball she is talking out her ass. IMO, don’t acknowledge it at all.
Post # 3
People will claim all sorts of things cause autism. The truth is, we don’t know the cause at this point. I agree with your Darling Husband that she might be trying to scare you into not having kids of your own so that you may be more willing to take guardianship of her kids.
Post # 4
giley: ignore it. Who knows what her motives were for sending it.
Post # 5
That’s not only freaky, but actually incredibly rude.
Post # 6
Rest assured that it’s not 100% or even close to it as far as what predicts autism. Yes, They predict genes but also environment factors And no one can predict what traits your and your husbands genes will create.
With the percentage of kids diagnosed with autism these days- we all have a reason to worry that it may happen to us- but I know many amazing individuals who are diagnosed with autism. I am a behavior therapist for kids with autism and I know that all their parents love them and wouldn’t trade them for a “typical” child. They are perfectly unique and wonderful And a potential diagnosis is nothing more to fear than any other potential diagnosis that may have no genetic component and no way to predict. 🙂
Post # 7
Maybe she was somehow trying to be helpful and just executed it terribly? I know that they’ve found some patterns that suggest that there is a genetic component to autism but there still isn’t any solid evidence of what causes it. Maybe just email her back and say, “thanks for the information”.
Post # 8
If you are really worried go ahead and seek out peer reviewed scientific articles. It may give you a general understanding of the possible causes. Eating carrots or having a bad kidney shouldn’t have any effect.
Post # 9
Just say thanks for the information and ignore it as juliaGG said.
Post # 10
My personal opinion on autism is that it’s due to the amount of genetically modified food and food additives around these days. There’s no way eating a ton of E numbers has no affect on our DNA.
In any case, I would email back ”Thanks for the information” or not at all.
My Father-In-Law keeps trying to scare me into not vaccinating my kids… there’s no way that’s happening. Decisions about whether to have kids and how to raise them are the parent’s decision and nobody elses. When my Father-In-Law goes on a rant about vaccinating, I listen, smile, and then change the subject. Best strategy.
Post # 11
- Wedding: January 2022 - City, State
I would just like to add that just because a person is autistic doesn’t mean they can’t have productive lives. My youngest son is autistic and, while he fan be challenging, he is worth all the challenge! He is currently in college studying meteorology and makes the Deans list every semester. Also look up Temple Grandin to read about another awesome person with autism.
I have 4 children and he is the only one with autism. However, I suspect that if my dad had been born today he would have tested somewhere on the spectrum.
Post # 12
giley: I work with autistic children….don’t let that woman scare you.
Post # 13
wifetobee63: this. Autism affects almost every person in my family. Its nothing to do with food additives because we were all born in romania and grew up on fresh food And meat.
Regardless of autism everyone in my family have led at least semi productive lives and although their autism is obvious it isnt hindering their lives as much as we had all orginally had thought. Some of them didnt get tested til after their 30s and they have gealthy fsmily lives and so forth.
Autism can be challenging but it shouldnt deter you from having kids ir make you worried about it, and as someone with so many autistic people in her life she probably was trying to be helpful and just came across badly Since she would know that autism isnt as bad as other things out there like downs syndrome etc.
I would honestly doubt she is doing it just to scared you into not having kids and caring for hers.why does she want you to have guardianship anyway? They wont grant it unless there is a reason to change guardianship so if there is the possibility there is most likely a good reason.
Post # 14
I have an autistic son. It was called Asperger’s (I still call it that) but now they use the term autistic spectrum disorder. Whatever.
Has he had his challenges? He sure did. Had he had successes? Yep. He is an Eagle Scout, and has been accepted to a good college that isn’t easy to get into.
To be honest, Darling Husband and I are quite sure he has a sprinkling of Asperger’s, I’m pretty sure one of my nieces does, and have no doubt in the world one of my nephews does. I know that autism looks different on each person, and some are far more severely affected than others, but your FI’s stepmom is being a real jerk here. Ignore her. Just because she has autistic children doesn’t mean you will.
Post # 15
giley: sounds to me that the autism might be coming more from her side of the family. You can’t prove which side it’s from. I would just ignore her, no one can predict whether or not your child will get autism or anything else.