(Closed) husband's step mom freaked me out

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
4854 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That is just so random. Unless she’s a doctor, geneticist, or has a crystal ball she is talking out her ass. IMO, don’t acknowledge it at all. 

Post # 3
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

People will claim all sorts of things cause autism. The truth is, we don’t know the cause at this point. I agree with your Darling Husband that she might be trying to scare you into not having kids of your own so that you may be more willing to take guardianship of her kids.

Post # 4
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

giley:  ignore it. Who knows what her motives were for sending it. 

Post # 5
2012 posts
Buzzing bee

That’s not only freaky, but actually incredibly rude.

Post # 6
15 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

Rest assured that it’s not 100% or even close to it as far as what predicts autism. Yes, They predict genes but also environment factors And no one can predict what traits your and your husbands genes will create. 

With the percentage of kids diagnosed with autism these days- we all have a reason to worry that it may happen to us- but I know many amazing individuals who are diagnosed with autism. I am a behavior therapist for kids with autism and I know that all their parents love them and wouldn’t trade them for a “typical” child. They are perfectly unique and wonderful And a potential diagnosis is nothing more to fear than any other potential diagnosis that may have no genetic component and no way to predict. 🙂

Post # 7
1527 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Maybe she was somehow trying to be helpful and just executed it terribly? I know that they’ve found some patterns that suggest that there is a genetic component to autism but there still isn’t any solid evidence of what causes it. Maybe just email her back and say, “thanks for the information”.

Post # 8
1773 posts
Buzzing bee

If you are really worried go ahead and seek out peer reviewed scientific articles. It may give you a general understanding of the possible causes. Eating carrots or having a bad kidney shouldn’t have any effect.

Post # 9
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Just say thanks for the information and ignore it as juliaGG said. 

Post # 10
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My personal opinion on autism is that it’s due to the amount of genetically modified food and food additives around these days. There’s no way eating a ton of E numbers has no affect on our DNA.

In any case, I would email back ”Thanks for the information” or not at all.

My Father-In-Law keeps trying to scare me into not vaccinating my kids… there’s no way that’s happening. Decisions about whether to have kids and how to raise them are the parent’s decision and nobody elses. When my Father-In-Law goes on a rant about vaccinating, I listen, smile, and then change the subject. Best strategy.

Post # 11
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2022 - City, State

I would just like to add that just because a person  is autistic doesn’t mean they can’t have productive lives.  My youngest son is autistic and,  while he fan be challenging,  he is worth all the challenge!  He is currently in college studying meteorology and makes the Deans list every semester.  Also look up Temple Grandin to read about another awesome person with autism.

I have 4 children and he is the only one with autism.  However,  I suspect that if my dad had been born today he would have tested somewhere on the spectrum. 


Post # 12
1084 posts
Bumble bee

giley:  I work with autistic children….don’t let that woman scare you. 

Post # 13
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

wifetobee63:  this. Autism affects almost every person in my family. Its nothing to do with food additives because we were all born in romania and grew up on fresh food And meat.

Regardless of autism everyone in my family have led at least semi productive lives and although their autism is obvious it isnt hindering their lives as much as we had all orginally had thought. Some of them didnt get tested til after their 30s and they have gealthy fsmily lives and so forth.

Autism can be challenging but it shouldnt deter you from having kids ir make you worried about it, and as someone with so many autistic people in her life she probably was trying to be helpful and just came across badly Since she would know that autism isnt as bad as other things out there like downs syndrome etc.

I would honestly doubt she is doing it just to scared you into not having kids and caring for hers.why does she want you to have guardianship anyway? They wont grant it unless there is a reason to change guardianship so if there is the possibility there is most likely a good reason.

Post # 14
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

Ignore her.

I have an autistic son. It was called Asperger’s (I still call it that) but now they use the term autistic spectrum disorder. Whatever.

Has he had his challenges? He sure did. Had he had successes? Yep. He is an Eagle Scout, and has been accepted to a good college that isn’t easy to get into.

To be honest, Darling Husband and I are quite sure he has a sprinkling of Asperger’s, I’m pretty sure one of my nieces does, and have no doubt in the world one of my nephews does. I know that autism looks different on each person, and some are far more severely affected than others, but your FI’s stepmom is being a real jerk here. Ignore her. Just because she has autistic children doesn’t mean you will.

Post # 15
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

giley:  sounds to me that the autism might be coming more from her side of the family. You can’t prove which side it’s from. I would just ignore her, no one can predict whether or not your child will get autism or anything else.

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