Husband's strange "cousin"

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
512 posts
Busy bee

A second cousin would be one of your husband’s cousin’s child. If your husband’s dad is an only child, it’s only possible for him to have a second cousin on his mom’s side. Does he know any of those cousins? If so, I would tell him to reach out to them and be like hey, did you give a kid up for adoption? Because they found me.

It’s weird to me.

Post # 33
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry, but I call BS on her being a cousin. My family had something similar happen when I was a kid with a random distant cousin suddenly reached out, but it turned out we were ACTUALLY related. The distant cousin provided pages of documentation and genealogy research to back things up. My mom then did her own research and further confirmed it. If this woman was actually a cousin, she should be able to have proof. She knows her birth parents names supposedly, 2nd cousins are not that removed, it should be a very easily traced line between the two of them. Unless she can show on a family tree how they are related, your Darling Husband needs to stop communicating with this random stranger.

Post # 34
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Either way OP, your husband needs to stop communicating with her unless she can provide you proof of lineage. 

 

edited post because I can’t read lol

Post # 38
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

violet90 :  Regardless of what her answer is, I think it’s time for the both of you to block her on all forms of communications, including a number change. Blood relative or not, she’s still a stranger who you both know nothing about. My biggest worry is the ‘jealous’ husband—but then again I watch a lot of true crime shows. 

Post # 39
Member
11 posts
Newbee

My bet is the alleged cousin will reply by lamenting at length  how hurt she is by the message seeking to end communication.  And try to keep the convo going until she can get to the end game, which will be to ask for something.  

Post # 40
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

Has he given her personal information that would indicate where you guys lived?? 

simplebee92 is right… she doesn’t even seem to know your husband’s family’s makeup. How can you even think that it is more likely that this stranger is unearthing some hidden sister/brother of your husband’s only-child father??? 

You seem really too calm about this… for awhile, this complete stranger that you know nothing about, that you don’t know if the things you know are even true, has been gathering info about you and your husband, and at the most innocent, been an annoying weirdo, and at most could be someone dangerous. 

Post # 41
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

That sounds super strange. I’m agreeing with PP and thinking either she is just lonely and wants attention or that she wants “family” she can use to ask for money. Almost like catfishing for financial benefits.

Has she ever asked your husband for money or contributions towards anything? Because I would be surprised if she didn’t.

Post # 42
Member
12091 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

simplebee92 :    I believe you are off base there. First cousins share the same grandparents. Second cousins share the same great grandparents. It goes by generations. The child of the OP’s husband’s first cousin is his first cousin once removed. 

The husband’s father having no siblings does not mean OP’s husband can’t have second cousins on his father’s side. Those would be his grandparents siblings grandchildren.

OP, This person may or may not be legit, but she definitely sounds off and inappropriate. I’d stop communicating with her. 

Post # 44
Member
10651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

simplebee92 :  That would be a cousin once removed.  2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc cousins are the same generation.  For 1st cousins there is a shared grandparent, for 2nd cousins it’s a shared great grandparent and as others have said here their parents are 1st cousins.

Post # 45
Member
10651 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

violet90 : If your husband has such little knowledge of his family, how did she find him?  Someone could google me, but how would they even know it’s the correct person connected to the name?  Many people have the same last names without being related closely enough to establish a connection.

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