Post # 1
My fiancé may be taking a job that requires travel. He may be gone two weeks (not including weekends) every 2 months. The pay and location are great and I’ll be near my family and friends.
anyone else deal with this? How is it? Please let me know your experiences!
Post # 3
@jlpalumbo: My H goes away for work but it’s really random and sporadic. 1 week in DC, 3 weeks in Cali, one month in Chile. Normally I don’t know until the week prior.
We use Skype or just call. We can go a whole week without talking on the phone, but we will text each other good night.
I usually set up all sorts of dinner dates with girlfriends, go to concerts, take aerobics classes, or just veg out on the couch with chick flicks. I normally don’t have a problem with entertaining myself. We don’t have kids but that would make it harder since you become a single parent.
Post # 4
This is a very similar schedule to my husband, on average he travels 1 week a month; sometimes it is more than that (for example in March & April he will be gone more often than he is home,) sometimes less.
A few years ago, he was traveling 2 weeks at a clip (because majority of his trips are international and being gone for 2 weeks made more sense) which meant he was gone for a total of 4 weekend days. This was difficult because the weekends are the times that I missed him the most. Plus, when he was gone 2 weekends he missed so many family and friend events as well. So, now when he travels he proposes to his coworkers that he would like to be gone only for one week, and does his best to try to come back on Fridays which is much better!
Let me tell you that skype is awesome! Due to time changes we often have to skype when I am at work, but being able to see him & him see me, makes a huge difference.
Also, ignore people who tell you “how can you do it, I could never be away from my husband, I miss him after only one day, etc.” It really used to irk me when people would tell me this, but one huge positive that has come out of his travel schedule is our relationship is even better than ever! When he travels, especially if it is one of those spurts where he is gone more frequently, our home life is so strong. He and I will both go out of our way to really show each other a lot of love and respect because our time is more limited and we don’t take each other for granted. In addition, the travel perks are AMAZING! Because my husband flies so much he has Exec Plat status with AA, and in the past 3 years I have tagged along on several business trips with him which means his ticket & our hotels are free! In addition, when it’s not a business trip, we go on several international vacations together and use his upgrades to ride in business!
SO, overall, while I do miss him greatly when he is gone, it is usually only during the work week when I am super busy anyway; plus the pros really outweigh the cons. We are more loving, we are travelling more than ever and have the best vacations together where we can reconnect and enjoy each others company. 🙂
Post # 5
My husband and I both travel for work. Different jobs, different companies, and only once a year do we travel to the same city at the same time (an annual tradeshow). We deal with being apart at least once a month and sometimes for a full month or more depending on schedules.
It’s hard to be without him. I love our home life and I love being home with him. But it is a required part of both of our jobs, so we deal with it. We make time each night to talk on the phone, even if it’s just to say goodnight— and that can be a challenge sometimes when we are on different time zones, but with only one exception, we make it work. The exception is when I am overseas, as my phone service doesn’t always work and the time zones don’t always line up, and on those rare overseas trips, we write each other a lot of emails, and use IM to stay in touch when time allows.
We make sure to make time for ourselves and each other when we return from our trips; sometimes that’s just a few hours for dinner out, sometimes it’s a together-trip of our own, and that depends on the rest of our schedules, but we always have at least a little date together.
Obviously the most important thing to have is absolute trust in one another; having either spouse travel is going to be a recipe for disaster if you don’t trust one another. He knows I am not stepping out on him and I know he is not stepping out on me. I don’t think either of us would handle things as well if we did not trust each other.
Also learning how to maximize earning of airline/hotel/credit card points/miles and to maximize rewards is key. In the last 4 years, Darling Husband and I have gone to Australia twice, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Barcelona, and Italy, all for free vacations, all in business/first class with 5-star free hotels. There are a lot of tricks to earning the miles and using them wisely, and I think it makes a crappy trip to somewhere in the middle of nowhere much more tolerable if you know you’re getting the miles to take you to Sydney.
Post # 6
My fiance travels a lot, but it is more sporadic. A few days here, a week there. I actually don’t live anywhere near family (we relocated across the country for his job) but we make it work.
I will usually go out with my girlfriends, or have a small girls-only dinner party while he is gone. We also stay in touch via phone and texting. Or I take the opportunity of his business trips to travel home for the week to see my family and friends there!
I will say though – the first time he went away was really hard. We’d just moved, I didn’t know anyone in Chicago or even have a job yet and I didn’t like being alone in our new place. Basically, I was bored out of my mind and had no one to talk to. Now, when he is gone, I have people to hang out with, work to keep me busy, and I enjoy having the apartment (and complete control of the remote and dinner menu!) to myself for a bit!
Post # 7
Im actually the traveller in the marraige. I’m gone around 5-7 days a month. Only weekdays, Im home for holidays and weekends. I dont make great money tho, but its better than no money. Pretty sure Darling Husband just plays PS3 while Im gone.
Post # 8
My husband is asked to travel for work sporadically. The short trips are easy. I get a few days of me time. The longer trips (up to three weeks, possibly a little bit longer), are more challenging for me. I try to stay energized to get stuff done around the house, and spend more time on school, but I usually fail and end up watching some stupid tv on the couch.
If possible, I like to try to visit my parents or friends that live farther away during travel time as well. These trips help keep my mind off of missing my hubby. And make lists of things you want to do around the house that you may be able to get done with out Darling Husband, maybe you will be more successful than me!
Post # 9
I travel for work and 25% away is not all that uncommon or nearly as bad as it sounds. Sure it’s worse for the partner who is at home because you have to stay busy, but it’s a good chance to relive some of those fun parts of being single – watching the shows you want to watch, meeting your friends for happy hour instead of going home to cook dinner, etc.
One advantage is that if he travels somewhere cool, you can go with him and the hotel expense is already covered. It also ends up saving money other places, for example groceries while he’s gone, and he will rack up travel points that you can use on your own vacations. I second learning how to best maximize miles and rewards. If he always tries to stay at the same brand of hotel or fly the same airline you can get the most out of it. Plus put any biz expenses on a rewards credit card if his company lets you. Also, you said weekend would not be included in the travel. That usually means the company will say he can book a flight home, or he can choose to bring someone out to him for the weekend.
I’m not going to lie, work travel can be exhausting and after getting stuck way too long on a layover due to snow this week I’m not super excited to travel again next week. But, it’s so worth it to break up the monotony of sitting at the desk all day!
Post # 10
@sienna76: I agree with kids, it would be tough. We agreed that when we are ready for kids that maybe another job would be available to him or he would look for one.
@AnnieAAA: I’m thinking that other pros would outweigh the cons for us too.
@fishbone: wow the places you have traveled together sound amazing!
@new york bride 13: I’m in the opposite boat with location. I already moved away for his job and this would bring us back. Funny because it brings us back to Chicago!
@MASPA: my fiancé would be in ps3 the whole time too. He does that now when I work nights.
@auggiefrog: haha I’m sure I’d waste a lot of time in front if the tv as well!
Thank you for the replies! You all are making the situation seem so much better! The traveling perks sound great! We are waiting to hear back from the company. He hasn’t received an offer yet.
The great thing is, 2 years ago I moved to Boston for Fiancés work. This job would bring us back to the Chicago area and close to family and friends. That is super exciting for me!
Post # 11
@jlpalumbo: I actually go away for work and he is at home. I work 4 weeks approx. 2 hours (flight) away from him. And I return home for 2 weeks at a time. It is difficult sometimes but we made the commitment that it will only be for so long. The job pays so well that it will get us ahead and we will be leading with the right foot. You just have to look at the positives and remember why you are putting yourself in that situtation
Post # 12
@fishbone: I love when you said ” I think it makes a crappy trip to somewhere in the middle of nowhere much more tolerable if you know you’re getting the miles to take you to Sydney.” My husband says this all the time! He goes to some really weird and in no way glamorous places, and when he gets back he will just remind himself that “this trip is for X vacation.” Haha!
Post # 13
My fiancé is currently in Asia and is coming home in exactly one week after being gone for 2 months!! 🙂 It’s very sporadic and we never really know how long he will be. At the beginning of this trip it was supposed to be 3 weeks at most. Oh well!
But I agree with previous poster, just keep busy. Schedule girls’ nights, visit family that you haven’t in a while and try to get things done that you’re able to. 🙂
Skype helps. We try to talk once a day – because our wedding is in 3 months and I just need to talk things over with him lol.
Post # 14
My Darling Husband is a consultant and is typically travelling every Monday through Thursday.
I don’t find it to be as bad as everyone seems to think it would be. People hear how he travels and think it must be so terrible but since I work all day too, the only time I miss seeing him (where I would be able to if he didn’t travel) is in the evenings. I just use those nights to watch my girly TV shows and take long baths while reading my books. It is really the perfect time for “me” time!
Our method of staying in contact is to talk on the phone almost every day. Sometimes its 5 minutes, sometimes is an hour and half (and everything in between) – but we make a point to talk. We also talk on GChat throughout the day at work.
Plus, as others said, I think it makes the time we do have together that much better because we don’t take each other for granted and we want to make sure we make the most of the few days a week we do get. And the airlines miles and hotel points sure don’t hurt either! 🙂
Post # 15
Thanks everyone for all of you stories! I am actually hoping he gets this job. I know it will be tough at times but it brings me back to the Chicago area where my family is. We should be finding out at the beginning of the week if he has it or not. He has already had 3 interviews. Cross your fingers!!!