Post # 1
So FI and I just got married a few weeks ago. We have a 2 month old daughter. The wedding week, sex was great. Then it slowly died from there. We were at multiple times a week and this week I was lucky to get one time. I recognize that a lot of people only have Sex once a month, but for us this is a drop off. To be fair I had been sick for a couple of days so we avoided it. Then once I was ready to go he was anything but. Did nothing but sleep from 7pm-630 am all week. I tried twice to initiate..and was met with “I’m tired let’s go to bed.” (he works from 8-5 M-F). Everyone gets tired. I get tired. But I guess I just feel completely rejected and unatractive when he wants to sleep instead. Its new to me I guess so I apologize if my complaining comes off as simplistic to some. I just felt the need to majorly vent, as it’s been building up for several days.
So the night before last he slept from 7-2 am. I had just put the baby to bed, did the dishes and went back to our room. Well guess what? Mr too tired for sex wanted sex and said “why don’t you put on something sexy babe.” ok.. At 2. I should have said no but I was stupid and went along with it. Obviously the next day was wonderful with me running on 3 hours of sleep and a crabby baby. Earlier we had had a conversation that involved me saying I wish I had time to put on make up in the morning. Well hubby said “you can let the baby cry. Spend some time doing your make up.”
So today I did, figuring that I would set the mood for earlier sex. However as far as fashion goes, lol, I ended up wearing white tee shirt and some shorts. Hubby comes home and we sit down after dinner. Somehow how I looked that day came up and I said “well I thought I would look nice” with a smile. And hubs replies with escalstor eyes from my legs up and a smile creeps along his face and he giggles. Of course I was pretty pissed and said “Oh..you’re thinking ‘thats nice huh?'” And he bursts out laughing. I finally got it out of him that apparently my make up looked nice but nothing else. “Aren’t those your workout shorts?” he asked, still laughin
ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I keep our place sPotless and take care of a 2 month old…I put on make up to look nice for you. And I’m greeted with laughter because I wasswearing my gym shorts. I am SO sorry I didn’t have time to get into a dress or some lingerie to walk around in all day until you come home. I am Soooo sorry that you come home to a sparkling apartment, a hot meal and a clean and healthy baby. I am really sorry you have to put up with a wife who has a libido and tries to look nice for you…even though she apparently fails at it
I dont know about anyone else but I’m tired of never being good enough. Sorry I reeeeeally had to vent. It was just way way overdue…sorry to annoy anyone. Guys are just bricks 95% of the time. And he wants sex tonight btw. Even though he just laughed at me for wearing work out shorts.(God forbid the mother of a 2 month old baby feel comfortable).
Post # 3
oh geeze…men, they just don’t get it sometimes. I’m sorry 🙁 I don’t really have any good advice either but it sounds like your doing a great job around the house and taking care of the baby and he should appreciate that a little more.
Post # 4
Wow guys can say such mean things sometimes! I know their intentions are not to be mean but some of the things they say are like come on really? I think you guys are still trying to find your rythm, so to speak. Being a new time mommy is really difficult especially since you seem to be working very hard at keeping things clean for him and hello raising a baby!He is lucky you do have libido, for some women it takes up to a year before they actually are ready for sex.
I think it’s wonderful you took time to put make up on, eventhough you didn’t get the reaction you wanted. But you also did it for yourself and at this moment every little thing you can do for yourself during this very selfless time is valuable. My mom always tells me that when I have children I have to take care of myself also (I’m not a mother), be it putting on make-up, wearing something nice, taking a bath etc, you get the point. Talk to your SO and tell him how you feel, sometimes they just don’t realize how hurtful they are being.
Oh and congrats on getting married and your baby!
Post # 5
What a doofus! Men are so incredibly clueless and insulting sometimes. Maybe you should sit him down and have a firm talk with him about his actions and words and how he makes you feel.
Post # 6
Ummmm when DD was two months old FH was lucky if I took a shower and have him a kiss on he cheek. I probably would have hit him if he told me to let the baby cry so I could put makeup on – I’m sorry, but it sounds like you’re bending over backward for a guy who takes inappropriately long and ill-timed naps rather than keeping a responsible sleep schedule.
This is definitely not a “men” thing – are you happy? Do you feel like you’re beig treated well?
Post # 7
what the hell!?
you need to talk to him :S
Post # 9
I feel you girl, we’ve got a 4 month old at home. I have to admit, however, that your guy doesn’t sound like he’s contributing much. Up until about a week ago, DH and I were sleeping in shifts (him from 9 to 2 and me from 2 to 7) and he’s working full time while I’m still on leave. Doesn’t sound like your guy is doing much to help you out with the baby if he’s sleeping that much. Maybe if he contributed a little more you’d have some more time to gussy yourself if that’s what he likes.
I totally get the sex thing though. We’ve done it ONE time since the baby was born. ONE. And that’s when my mom took the baby for the weekend. Since we’re splitting the load evenly, we’re both freaking tired at night and although sex would be nice, it’s not really a priority right now for us I guess. I really do wish we’d make it one though, because it’s starting to wear on me too. I always want to initiate it, but he’s constantly complaining about how tired he is and I don’t like rejection so I haven’t tried.
Post # 10
First I have to ask…you were married a few weeks ago when you had a 1 month old baby and you had lots of sex? Aren’t you supposed to wait 6 weeks after a baby to have sex again?
Also, your man needs to wake TF up! You have a 2 month old baby and he wants to see you in something nice after he gets to sleep 12 hours???? What’s he doing as a father? Working 8-5 is a sweet schedule, not a ball-breaker and he should be coming home and giving you a baby-break.
I don’t want to make you angry, but you need to start demanding his participation as a parent and stop worrying about looking appealing for him for now. You can’t let a 2 month old cry while you apply make-up! Most new moms are lucky to get a shower once a day and wear clothes without spit-up on them.
Good luck – your guy needs o grow up and man up.