(Closed) husband's work ruins holidays

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 64
3942 posts
Honey bee


Post # 65
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Ugh!  I have never been with DH for a single holiday 🙁  This year we are lucy because he just happens to have Mondays and Tuesday off!  This is the only time though.  I hate being alone on a holiday!

Post # 66
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just have to echo what the other Bees have already said. You equating your husband having to work over the holidays to cheating and requiring counseling, along with you thinking you are within your rights to demand he quit/skip work is beyond ridiculous. Grow up and be an adult instead of a teenager having a temper tantrum!

Also, I think it was ridiculous that your arrangement was if you moved, you had to spend every holiday for the rest of your lives with your family. I don’t care if you live in the same town as his, to expect him to never spend a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with his family is incredibly selfish. I can’t believe you are still hung up on moving after 4 years!

Suck it up and go see your family by yourself, and maybe threaten divorce if you still feel justified. It may be best for both of you since you don’t appear to appreciate your husband or recognize that he is your family too.

Post # 67
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry, but I would say you’re over-reacting. I’m not sure how it would be logical to demand him to quit his job. It’s a blessing that he HAS a job to go to, even if the days aren’t always ideal. I understand how it is being away from family, I’m 10 hours away from mine this year, for the first time in my life. It sucks. But you could go visit them on your own, which would be better than not getting to see them at all. Your DH can’t really help the requirements of his job.

Post # 68
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

I wish the OP would come back and update us all that she slept on it, reevaluated her priorities, decided that making her husband go to counseling or quit his job ( in a recession, nonetheless) and filing for divorce is a bit dramatic and she now understands marriage is about compromise and not about meeting a list of stringent demands —here’s to hoping!

Post # 69
971 posts
Busy bee

Take a breather and re-read what you wrote, please. 

Post # 70
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@marjojo:  Yikes!  I hope it felt good to get that off your chest.  And that now you realize how unfair you’re being.

Obviously we’re only getting a small glimpse of your relationship, and what happens to be a major point of contention.  But the whole dynamic of your marriage seems off.

I agree with everyone else – you are cruel for holding this move over your husband’s head.  People relocate for their spouses all the time.  That’s what you do, those are some of the many sacrifices you make for your partner.  Furthermore, to ask him to commit to NEVER seeing his family for ANY holiday?  That’s his compromise for you moving?  What?

Forget spoiled or entitled.  You’re just plain old mean.

Post # 71
971 posts
Busy bee

Any update, OP?

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