Hyphenated Last Names & Invitations

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

John Deer and Jane Joe-Deer

Post # 3
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I am that person and I am always very mad when someone cuts out part oft name! Like pissed off kind of mad. 

So:

Ms (not mrs) Jane Doe-Deere and Mr Deere. 

Post # 4
Member
4383 posts
Honey bee

Ms. Jane Doe-Deere and Mr. John Deere unless one has a salutation or title like Dr. or Col.

For example:

Dr. Jane Doe-Deere and Mr. John Deere

Col. John Deere and Ms. Jane Doe-Deere

Post # 6
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would even ask how they would like to be addressed!

Post # 7
Member
874 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
MiaSuperstar :  this is interesting, why ms and not Mrs if it’s a married couple, I feel clueless reading these!!

Post # 8
Member
4383 posts
Honey bee

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vanessalynn22 :  because she chooses to be Ms.

Post # 9
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

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vanessalynn22 :  technically it can’t be Mrs because it stands for “wife of Deere”. Since a hyphenated/ double last name includes your name as well you can’t be the wife of yourself. That’s the technicality behind it. It’s not common knowledge and some chose to be Mrs in any case but the correct way would be Ms. It’s a „newish” kind of etiquette because women werent allowed to keep or use their own last name after marriage into the 1970’s I belive. Americans are not to much into that kind of etiquetteanyhow. They most often say Mr and Mrs/Ms which is very rude in most cultures as it’s always “lady’s first”. 

Post # 10
Member
874 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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MiaSuperstar :  so interesting! Thanks! I addressed mine super wrong 🤣 

Post # 11
Member
8987 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sboom :  I took my husband’s last name and if I were widowed, at any age, I would still want to be referred to as “Mrs Smith”. Unless she is in a new serious relationship or has reverted to her maiden name I’d still use Mrs. 

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