(Closed) Hyphenated Name Question

posted 9 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

That’s tough….I think it would depend on the significance of each of FI’s last names. Is one his mom’s & one his dad’s? If so, then gosh, I would match mine to his so we’d both be The Smith-Pantyhose family. But it could be a case of one being an older family name, but the other name is more commonly used for them so in that instance maybe she could choose which one is more important (and more commonly used by Fiance & his family).
If I had a hyphenated name, it would be my mum’s & then my dad’s, if I was going to pick one, I would just use my dad’s as it’s more so all of us as a family.
What would her Fiance prefer she use?

Post # 4
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

I think names are so personal, you really shouldn’t sign up for one that you don’t like. I mean, it’s your name. It’s like a giant billboard for who you are, and it comes with all sorts of connotations that stick regardless of whether we want them to or not. So no, I don’t think she should take more of his name than she’s comfortable taking.

But happilywaiting asks a good question – what does her fiance prefer? If he’s fine with it, then I’d say full steam ahead. Don’t worry about offending anyone. Besides, parts of hyphenated names have to get dropped eventually somewhere down the line. Otherwise we’d just keep piling them on until our last names are four miles wide.

Post # 5
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am having a similar issue.  FH’s last name is something along the line of "Smith-Jones" (2 common last name), but he commonly goes by WindyCityGroom Jones, not WindyCityGroom Smith-Jones.  He uses Smith as his middle name, though legally it is part of his last night.

 

FH hasn’t talked to the Smith side of the family for 10+ years.  Even though his name is hyphenated, as is his mothers, I will only be taking Jones, and thankfully, he is planning to change his name to WindyCityGroom Smith (middle name) Jones (last name) once we get married.

 

I say she should take whatever she is comfortable with, though I am taking Jones because it is FH’s father’s last name and a little more traditional.

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