(Closed) Hyphenating- Drop Middle Name?

posted 7 years ago in Names
  • poll: Should I drop my middle name?

    yes

    no

  • Post # 17
    Member
    9124 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I did something similar, except I switched my maiden name to my middle name rather than hypenating.  But when I was filling out the paperwork, I didn’t want to drop my original middle name… my parents picked out the perfect name for their little baby and I couldn’t just dump it.  

    So now my name is Firstname Middlename Maidenname Newlastname.  Of course that’s kind of ridiculously long, but how often do you use your FULL name anyway?  I like having all those parts of my name – it’s like maintaining all the different elements of my identity and history.  So I vote you keep it!

    Post # 18
    Member
    11525 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I am probably the biggest advocate you will find on these boards on behalf of the concept of dropping one’s middle name in favor of taking her maiden name as her new middle name, so that her new, married name would be First Maiden Hislast.

    That said, however, if I had been OK with hyphenating my last name  (which I did not want to do for a number of reasons), I would have chosen to keep my given middle name.   I love having a middle name and a middle initial. I honestly miss my middle initial more than my middle name, because I prefer that initial to the initial of my maiden (now legal middle) name.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I hyphenated and I kept my middle name.  My name is much longer, too.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    DH and I both hyphenated our last names; we both kept our middle names. Our children’s last names will be the hyphenated name as well.

    Post # 22
    Member
    3657 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @cologirl:  Establish your legal name and stick to it. Further down the road of life, you may well regret having a stupidly long name for the purpose of always having to sign legal paperwork in the same way, and representing yourself legally in the same way. So for taking possession of, for instance, real estate, you may be

    Sarah Jones-Smith–keep it simple because when you give up the real estate you will need to sign the same name (well, it’s easier, anyway.)

    You don’t have to “drop” your middle name, why would you? But the question is: what are you going to use it for? If socially you pile on all of these syallables, that is technically fine, but it may make your freinds roll their eyes.

    I work with the public as well and women who have scads of names just make me think they consider themselves very important. Who CARES that you have a middle name other than yourself? So “keep” it but don’t impose it on every document that has your name on it.

    Post # 23
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    If you want to keep all of your names, then do so – I did! I couldn’t bear to drop any of my names, which I loved, but I also really wanted to have the same name as my husband. So now I have four names – First, Middle, Maiden, HisLast. On my SS card, my middle and maiden are now two middle names, and HisLast is my legal last name.

    One of the two middles always ends up getting dropped, because no form has space for two middle initials or two middle names, and that’s okay. I don’t have to have both names on everything, but it was important to me that I keep them anyway.

    I will add that IMO, and based on experiences of friends and colleagues, hyphenating is a disaster! But of course, if that’s what you want to do, then that’s what you should do.

    Post # 25
    Member
    3051 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    My SO originally thought I would want to hypenate our last names. I hate my last name. Not the origin, not my family, nothing to do with anything but asthetics. I hate that it’s difficult to pronounce & have always wanted a simpler name & looked very forward to marrying one day so I could get rid of it.

    My SO thankfully was on board with this. I will now take her last name. I have struggled with whether to keep my middle name as well. I have a feeling I will end up dropping it. I feel like First Maiden Last is a way for me to keep my own identity in my mind and on legal documents that require a full middle name but socially & at places like my job and school, I just go by 1st and last names anyway.

    But my tie to my mom is my middle name. She gave me her middle name. I’m closer to my mom…that makes dropping my middle name hard.

    Good luck with your decision!

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    10450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    When do you actually ever use your middle name? Don’t bother dropping it, it shouldn’t be a problem 99% of the time. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @cologirl:  Good points! I worked in the pharmacy and it wasn’t so much filing people’s medications away, it’s more the patient never knew which last name it’s under. And I too had a really hard time letting go oflast maiden name and I can’t exactly pinpoint it to why exactly. I didn’t feel like I’m his property but I did feel like for 30 plus years I was known as blah blah blah. I’ve had this name and all my achievements were in this name.When I change my name j have to go thru passport, SS #, DMV, and the board of pharmacy for my license. I get it. Marriage is a union. I am perfectly fine with people calling me Mrs so and so, I just don’tunderstand why am I the only one who have to go and change my last name if he’s in this marriage as much as me. How come he doesn’t hyphenate his last name as well? 

     

    Ahahahaha. I know. Weak argument. But that’s honestly how I feel.Also my last name is pretty uncommon and only thing left of me that my dad has given me (he passed away). So I have an issue with letting go. I know it’s not quite an explanation but I will remind myself of what u said and hopefully it’ll make tr transitifor easier for me. 🙂 thanks

    Post # 29
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @cologirl:  Good for your future husband! I tried to convince my husband but that didn’t work. Hahaha. But I’m not changing my name until I’m ready, which would be in a few years. LOL. About the pharmacy, it’s more of the patient being confuse. For example: “Hi, what’s your last name?” Patient “Hill-Smith”. So our pharmacy clerks will go under “H” and the patient will be no no its under S! But in fact it’s under H. Or when a patient is dropping off a prescriptioask the prescription says Smith, Judy, and patient doesn’t inform our technicians earlier (meanwhile thetechnician is already creating a whole new profile for Judy Smith). OR even worse, “Last Name?” “Smith”. The clerK looks up and down and all around and EVERYWHERE to find Smith. They finally look in the computer and find out its Hill-Smith so it’s really under H. -_- One reason why the lines are pharmacy get super long. Sorry my pharmacy rant. Ahahahahahh. But good for you for finding a great man and good for your husband!  

    Post # 30
    Member
    10357 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If you drop your middle name, there are a lot of official forms that you will have to write “none” on, because they require you to put something – so it may as well be your middle name. My mom dropped her middle name when she got married and has had to deal with that for a long time.

    I hyphenated and regret it immensely. Computer systems almost never allow the hyphen. They typically default to either adding a space, or squishing the names together. That’s created a lot of issues with health insurance when dealing with doctors or prescriptions (them not being able to find records or refusing to cover prescriptions because the names dont match, etc). I also travel a lot and my passport and drivers license has the hyphens, but the airline tickets don’t. I’ve been hassled in other countries because of this. I’d just have kept my maiden name if I could undo it without going to court. I also work in a male dominated field, so I hear you on the wanting to keep your identiy front!

     

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