(Closed) Hyphenating- Drop Middle Name?posted 7 years ago in Names
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I must say, well said Miss E xx.
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
When Fiance and I first discussed names, he assumed I would just keep my name (I also don’t like feeling like property, lol!). He figured that he wouldn’t dare change his last name if he didn’t want to change his (Swoon- I’m so excited to marry this guy!). I was glad he didn’t mind, but I wasn’t completely satisfied with the arrangement because of the societal pressure to become a family unit. As we were going through customs after a Caribbean vacation, I was surprised to learn that to be a “family” as defined by US customs and immigration you must 1) Reside at the same address and 2) have the same last name (Seriously?! It’s 2013). If you don’t fit this definition of family, then each person has to fill out their own form instead of having one for the whole family. FI and I thought it was weird. One day, out of the blue, Fiance says that he figured out our last name dilemma. He thought we should both change our last names to MYLASTNAME-HISLASTNAME. That way, we both keep our identities, add our spouse’s name, and become a family unit. Plus, it’s a 3 syllable hyphenated last name, so its not crazy long or wordy. He said if it was good enough for Beyonce and Jay-Z, it was good enough for him, ha ha. Also, we live in San Diego where we have a large hispanic population and most people in Mexico have 2 names so I don’t think it’s as unheard of here. I haven’t seen another bee doing the same thing before- we could start a revolution! One bonus is that neither Fiance nor I have super unique first or last names, but if I hyphenate them, then I will be the only person with that name on google and it will be easy to find me- which may be good for my career (I’m an attorney).
And before anyone grills me- if you want to take your husband’s last name, then more power to you! I think it’s a personal choice for each individual person to make, and I don’t believe in adding to more woman-on-woman hate in the world for those choices. That said, I don’t think it’s right for a husband to demand his wife change her name, that’s her individual choice.
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
One of the reasons that my Fiance and I are didn’t want to completely drop our names is that we’re both published scientists. In the same way that you think your new name will make you easier to find, I think our new name will make Fiance easier to find (my name is already unusual). If he decides to use it professionally, hopefully it won’t be too confusing that he added a name to his existing name. Anytime someone does an author search Google Scholar, only our papers will come up, which will be nice for anyone searching.
I can’t believe that customs makes you fill out two forms if you have different last names! How archaic is that? I feel the same way about electronic forms that don’t support hyphens. The system needs to change, not names. I write a lot of code at work, and it would be really easy to make that change in software.
Employees who have problems filling out forms because of hyphens should complain to the the makers of their software, who can then spend 5 minutes changing their code to support hyphenated names.
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