(Closed) Hypothetically Speaking

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Its rude, shes a flake – but there is nothing you can do about it and anything you try will simply cause more drama.  Shes obviously causing enough drama and I would guess that most of the people who know you and your family wont be shocked by this.  Oh well!

Post # 4
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That’s quite the read.

 

But I’d agree with you.  You want to make everyone happy, esp since she was engaged first.  However I think you have already gone way out your way to be considerate of her.  I don’t really know what else you would want to hear.  but I’d be pretty aggravated too

Post # 5
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yes, I would be annoyed. However, you have already done your part to make things convenient. There is really nothing you can do.

Post # 6
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow.  I’m glad that’s just hypothetical!  That would suck if it happened in real life! 😉

Post # 7
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am so sorry you’re dealing with this.  I totally feel your frustration, I think that was very inconsiderate of your sister.  I see you said your mom was fine with it.  Have you voiced your concerns to her about people not being able to make it to your wedding because of your sister’s sudden date change?

 

 

Post # 8
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

Your sister’s actions are very inconsiderate. Have you sat down and talked to her about your frustrations? Perhaps if she saw where you were coming from, she’d be more thoughtful about her wedding planning. Haha I’m trying to be diplomatic, but I have two sisters, one of which is somewhat similar in ways to yours. It would be worth talking, but sisters don’t always necessarily hear what you’re saying. It may make you feel better though, if you got all of this into the open instead of bottling it up inside.

Post # 9
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

Curious – have your save the dates gone out?  If I were family and were aware of the situation, and could only go to one wedding, I’d pick yours.  😉

Post # 11
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

that would aggrivate me greatly? Is she aware of other people or is she the type of person to think about herself and herself only?

Post # 12
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow if my sister did that I’d be so ticked off at her. You have a right to be concerned. It’s a lot for me to go to 2 weddings in 6 months let alone 6 weeks apart. Since you sister had no trouble not caring about your feelings if I were you I would do the following:

1. Send out your Save The Dates IMMEDIATELY! If I got yours then your sisters I would choose who evers I got first (if i had to pick)…which will be yours hopefully!

2. Email your sister and tell her to knock the drama queen act (sorry she sounds like one) Unincluding herself from your wedding because you expressed concern? Come on!

3. Talk to your mom in person and lay out your case and explain how you think people will not make it to your wedding b/c hers is so close now.

I have a feeling if you say changed your date to a month BEFORE hers she would have a huge problem with it. Is she competitive with you? It seems like they aren’t in the position to have a big wedding right now but she just has to get married before you? Maybe she’s jealous?

Post # 13
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Considering that she “unincluded” herself from your wedding, I would really consider doing the same to hers (no reason for you to fork out 1K on top of everything else if she’s being a brat). But, I’m more of a grudge holder . . .

Post # 14
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Have you sent out Save-The-Date Cards (Save the Date cards) yet?  If you have, you can be sure your family has already planned to go to your wedding.  I wouldn’t worry about scheduling your wedding around hers anymore.  She’s obviously a flake, and probably will change her mind again.  I would be very cautious about sharing any of your wedding info with her, since she also seems to be a “copy cat bride” that is someone who will steal your dress colors, wedding colors, decoration ideas, etc. then claim them as her own just because her wedding is scheduled first.  You are sweet to have included her as a Maid/Matron of Honor, but I would leave her as an honorary Maid/Matron of Honor, and don’t count on her to do anything.  Furthermore, I don’t think you should be expected to do much for her wedding since you have your own to plan.  It’s nice she made you an honorary Maid/Matron of Honor, but really you should only worry about paying for the dress.  It’s selfish of her to expect any more of you when you have tried so hard to accomodate her.

Post # 15
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think a LOT of people can be inconsiderate when it comes to their ‘special day.’ 

A lot of people have a really hard time looking further than themselves, andan even harder time realising that they may be making things more difficult than need be — because it’s their ‘special day.’

Believe me, even the more logical, conscientious people can turn into self-centered, egotisitcal spoiled brats as soon as their wedding comes into view.

You’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty to make things easier on your family’s pocket books, it’s not your fault she keeps changing her mind.

 

Some people just can’t take the ‘memeME!’ blinders off.

Post # 16
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Crummy 🙁 I would say try to knock that 1K you are spending on her down significantly. She doesn’t seem to be deserving of that atm and isn’t being very thoughtful to you.

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