(Closed) I’m an emotional mess today…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@ValerieBee03:  Try to put everything in perspective.  Wouldn’t you be feeling worse if your sister just got engaged and you were single?  It sounds like your engagement is imminent, so why worry about it so much?  Don’t you want to be surprised (at least a little bit)?  According to my fiance, planning a proposal is incredibly stressful and time-consuming.  Don’t fret about when it will occur…just let your SO figure it out himself and do this for you.

I can understand the urge to want to be engaged already, but this is an exciting time for you.  The proposal could come at ANY point.  Don’t rush it and try your best to savor this time.

There’s no need to have a pity party for yourself – you should be excited about what’s to come!

Post # 4
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@ValerieBee03:  You aren’t a bad sister, so don’t worry about that. A terrible sister wouldn’t have been happy for her in the first place.

This type of thing is definitely difficult though. You aren’t irrational at all. When others get engaged, it is a normal response to think about your own engagement. Last summer 4 of my friends got engaged, and this Christmas I am going to fill in for for co-worker so he can propose to his girlfriend (of 1 year). I get jealous too, but it subsides after a nice good vent lol

Just keep you head up, and stay busy. Try to focus on something else for a little while.

You’re day will come, and it sounds like that will be extrememly soon. Good luck!

Post # 6
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

You’re not a bad sister for feeling the way you do!  I see what you mean though… the normal waiting jealousy is rising up, and even though you know it’s coming soon and your sister “deserves” to be engaged too (I put deserves in quotations because I can’t think of a better word) it still hurts a little when it’s not you.

It’ll be so exciting to plan together, just hold it together a few more weeks!!

Post # 8
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@ValerieBee03:  I completely get it, BUT try not be jealous and try not to worry so much about it.  Getting engaged is fantastic and being surprised when it happens is so amazing.  Once you’ve been engaged for a while, though, the newness wears off and you get thrust into “planning mode.”  Don’t get me wrong, I love the planning aspect of it, but I highly recommend trying to take the time to enjoy your engagement (the before and after) before focusing on the wedding.


You’ll be a bride soon enough…for now, support your sister and just think of how happy she’ll be when she hears you’re engaged.  🙂

Post # 9
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

You sound like a REALLY sweet sister!

No one should ever expect you to be 100% happy for anyone regardless of how it makes you feel.

You’re happy for her, and supportive of her, and are ready to help her plan! That makes you an awesome sister in my book!

Post # 10
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@ValerieBee03:  I felt this way when my bff got engaged to someone she met in Guatemala on a charity/aid thing and had spent time with for 2 months when I had been with my boyfriend for 5 years at the time and didn’t have a ring. You will get over it and be happily involved in her wedding. I got engaged later that year – unfortunately my friend broke off her engagement. Don’t fret, though! All in good time. 🙂

Post # 12
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@ValerieBee03:  First of all, congrats on being MOH!  Fun fun! 

Also, congrats on being thisclose to getting engaged!  That’s exciting!  Just try to stay focused on the positive here. 

FWIW–I don’t think you are a bad sister.  I do think it’s hard when you’ve had a desire for a proposal and never had one, to see someone get it 3x over and married 2x already.  Just try to hang in there!

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