(Closed) I absolutely hated my wedding

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

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EllasGrace20:  

I am so sorry that your wedding was awful.

Mine was too…that is one of the reasons we are renewing our vows. 

Maybe you can renew your vows and have the wedding you want.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by  amiona.
Post # 32
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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EllasGrace20:  That is the saddest thing I ever read. You do not sound like a brat at all….are you medicated? You are very zen. Congrats on your marriage!!  Like you said that is what is important. Throw a big 10 year anniversary party and do it YOUR way.

 

*10 years is a milestone + you will probably be in a good spot to afford it

Post # 33
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Church in partners hometown

Oh my goodness, that sounds absolutely horrific! I love how you still managed to find positives out of that situation, because I seriously would not have done. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and you need to know that it was not OK and you are not being selfish at all!  I definately think a vow renewal, your way, surrounded by your close friends would be a beautiful thing to do to try and replace a some of the bad memory’s with new positive ones.  All the best for your future, stay positive, as it is a wonderful trait to have =))

Post # 34
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

What the fuck. Girl, I feel so bad for you. Please re-do your wedding. On your terms.

Post # 35
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Weddings at Tiffany\'s, Maleny

I really hope you can make peace with this someday. It’s not something you can really let go of, because around us all the times are photos of other peoples’ apparently perfect weddings.<br />You and your little family you have with husband and son are your life now and any time you want to, you should make it possible to feel like a princess at home. You’re his bride forever xx

Post # 36
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Oh honey! You need to plan a lovely vow renewal for you and your husband. Don’t even TELL your dad (much less take a dime from him) and just invite him as a guest. Invite all the people who should have been there the first time. Have wine! Have proper utensils and bathrooms! Have it go til dawn!

It doesn’t have to be expensive at all, but it should be yours. DO IT!!! 

Post # 37
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Wow, your dad sounds like the worst wedding planner ever!

If he keeps bugging you about the cost, tell him he offered, you’re grateful, and that it’s been 4 years and he needs to let it go or at least not bring it up to you anymore.

I’d almost be tempted to just give him the $2000 to shut him up, but you might not be able to and it might not really help.

I think you should have a vow renewal or anniversary party, this time without your parents and with your husband’s friends (and yours of course). 

 

Post # 38
Member
3658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

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EllasGrace20:  awww, sweetie, your concerns seem completely justified to me. I am so sorry.

I wonder why your father is such as *ss? Idle minds want to know…

I think that you are taking his *ssity ( a new word!) very well. I’m sure that he loves you and I hope that he doesn’t always act in such annoying ways.

Post # 39
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Wow.. Im so sorry that your wedding wasnt the experience you were hoping for  ๐Ÿ™  I really feel for you.  You dont sound spoiled or like a brat at all!  Its your wedding day and you had certain expectations… I understand the not having money to do it your own way and it may have been better off doing the small, simple, intimate thing you had started to plan.  Why do parents always have to highjack things??  Their money so its all their way? I hate that, I’d rather do it my way without their money. 

If I were you I would wait until you can do a lovely vow renewal on your own terms and make it YOUR day.  And again, at the end of the day you did get to marry your love so thats the positive right?    The kicker for me was that they wouldnt help babysit your son on your wedding night but they got to go camp and have fun?!  WOW… 

Post # 40
Member
6338 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Go for that destination vow renewal, dress up and commit to the man you love once again; I wish a long and happy life to you and your family ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 41
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

Reading this gave me anxiety. I want to hug you! I’m sorry, but your dad is out of line. I agree with PP–please re-do your wedding! Just a nice dinner, buy yourself a nice dress, and have the people you love there for you. I’m sure all of the Bees would chip in for a babysitter for a few hours. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

I don’t think it’s too long to be holding onto this (although I am guilty of holding a grudge). Have you spoken to your dad about this? He sounds majorly delusional, not just “flighty Dad” sort of thing, but really manipulative. If he’s still acting like this in other aspects of your life, I’d either get counseling or cut the cord. Life is too short to let other people spoil it for you! 

Post # 42
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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EllasGrace20: Oh my goodness! You poor thing! Yes, you should definitely do a vow renewal! Make it about you and your Hubby, and don’t let your Dad get in the way of your special day. You deserve it!  

Post # 43
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Oh wow. I am so sorry your wedding went like this. I’m with the others that you should do a vow renewal totally your way. Maybe don’t even invite your parents? ๐Ÿ™‚

It gets so complicated when you let your parents pay for stuff. Mine are great, but my in-laws have been trying to control every last micro-detail of ours and it has been so stressful though nothing comparable to yours. My in-laws basically panned the idea of the wedding we wanted (and could afford ourselves) – much smaller and sort of made it so if we didn’t do it their way they’d make it hard for us. Then they threw money at us and the whole thing sort of snow balled. I know how easy it is to accept money for such a huge expense when you really need it and to not realize how many conditions will come with that. And then with that comes guilt, because they’re being generous and you are grateful but they are trying to control every little thing you do so you feel guilty for being upset about that. If I could go back I’d stand my ground and say nope, we’re doing what we can afford with the number of people we can afford and we will do our best to accommodate what our guests want but I wouldn’t have let them come in and take over.

I didn’t plan to go into all that at the beginning of this comment but I wanted you to know I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m 12 weeks away and have considered eloping a bunch of times. I won’t go into details here but they’ve made things difficult lol

I hope you get the dream wedding you want, you deserve it!

Post # 44
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Okay, this is going to sound horrible, and I apologize for that – but while what your dad did was extremely awful, you also let him do it. If it were me, I’d be telling myself to take ownership, re-examine my relationship with the persons involved, and then pay for a kick-ass honeymoon and photography session.

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