Post # 1
Update- Last weekend I broke the ‘shut it up pact’ – and immaturely had my first little emotional hissy fit (not cool, calm or classy) over getting engaged. My SO was browsing online at houses and I (almost) out of the blue got emotional, when he asked why I explained to him, the best I could, that looking at houses stresses me out because we already own one together, and looking at one with more bedrooms seems pointless and kind of sad when we haven’t yet moved forward in our relationship in the years we have owned this home. I also said something like “I can’t imagine getting into more financial responsibility with a Bf” *this is about the time his eyes unglazed* and he seemed to start understanding my out-of-character ‘girl speak’ and said- “oh! You’re upset because we aren’t married?” – Like it hadn’t ever properly crossed his mind! Grr (Apparently only because he is happy and content…hmm men?!)
Anyway I could then see his gears turning and he started to do the math: we are both nearly 27 so if we get engaged 2013, married in 2014, enjoy just being the two of us for a year or so, then try for kids, plus 9months= taadaa….into our 30’s and we have openly discussed wanting two kids and prefer a big age gap… BOOM- he got it. He started to stress that he had been so blasé and hadn’t been saving. I mentioned moissanite – 8 days later- and I’m almost certain he ordered a ring today! Maybe I shouldn’t have been so worried about seeming being pushy? He seemed pretty excited to know for sure that I’d love to marry him and had been thinking about it, and has been walking around in a happy daze, grinning for over a week….guys huh, go figure!
Post # 3
I hear you girl. I did a bit of an emotional thing on the day my former friend got married. SO didn’t get it but I sucked it up.
Anyway I’m glad your SO finally clicked at what your getting at. I do hope he asks that four word question
Post # 4
@Berrymagick: that is some magick trick you pulled, berry…
Post # 5
some guys are so dense! Glad it ended well for you and hope you get your proposal soon!
Post # 6
@Berrymagick: I did pretty muh the same thing and he’s finally got it! Dont regret it, you’re just acting out fo frustration and its shows how much you meant to him that he hasnt ran for the hills…why does this subject drive us girls crazy!!!
Post # 7
i love that you do the “kid” math like me… my so and i are 8 years apart so aiming for kids at the right age for both of us is challenging.
Sometime you gotta lay the math out for them before they start seeing the reality.
I dont really feel like you pushed the engagement button too hard, you just basically explained your comfort zone 🙂
Post # 8
@Berrymagick: good for you! I think you hit home because you didn’t nag, you were genuinly upset!
Post # 9
@Berrymagick: I could have written this myself! The conversation I had with my SO that woke him up went just like yours. I think I even said something lame like ” the future is now” lol.
Post # 10
ahhh yay!!!!!!! sounds like it went really well. awesome job on keeping your cool but also being outright about everything. and i can’t wait to see your moissy!!!!!! here’s a pic of mine 🙂
Post # 11
You gotta love men. Yes i understand it must be nice only being concerned about the here and now. But come on. Glance into your future a little bit. Because life goes by faster than you think and you don’t want it to catch you off gaurd.
Post # 12
A lot of men need it spelled out. I hate the whole idea of the “shut it up pact”. As if we shouldn’t have a say in our future and express our feelings as such. Give me a break.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - Makena Cove
I was worried for a while about him feeling ‘pressured’ but ya know what? When you’ve invested into a relationship for years but emotionally and financially, a little pressure isnt really a bad thing! I’ve had my share of not so calm melt downs and it seems to open their eyes a bit. Men can be so dense.
Post # 14
I might have missed it but what is a “shut it up” pact?
Post # 15
@Piscean: OMG I’m a pisceas too! lol. I’ve only recently learned that a ‘Shut it Up’ pact is a game that bees play on the website. The goal is to not talk about marriage with your boyfriend. I read a recently posted article that another bee put on here about how men don’t want to feel pressured, and want to get engaged on their own terms. So, shut it up and don’t talk about it as long as you can. LOL. I’ve started officially as of Tuesday, so far, it’s been 3.5 days WOOHOO 😀
Post # 16
Ugh, this is why I think it’s not wise to move in with a SO before engagement, if marriage is your goal. He’s already getting what he wants, without the commitment. I’m glad it appears to be working out for you, though!