Post # 91
Bee, having read all your posts on a few different threads I feel very concerned for you. You say you have been with this guy 9 years, and yet you don’t live together and in fact only see eachother once a week. Even without all the proposal stalling on his part, that alone seems a clear indicator that things aren’t progressing at all. I don’t mean to be blunt, but from everything you’ve posted your relationship sounds doomed. Do you really think the two of you have the kind of commitment and companionship it takes to make marriage work? I wonder if you might just feel like you’ve already invested so much time into waiting for him that you need a proposal now to validate it. I think you need to stop waiting for this guy and start your life.
Post # 92
If you were my Boyfriend or Best Friend, you wouldn’t propose to me? That’s what I’ve told him numerous times. Why would he want to propose to a psychotic woman who constantly nags and pressures him for a proposal?! No matter how many times I ask him that, he still answers with with, “Because I love you and I care about you” And then the cycle starts again. Like, “Wtf?! Why bother with planning a proposal?! Look at us?! Me nagging. You frustrated with me nagging! You’ve led me to believe a proposal was going to happen end June and you LIED to me! So why bother again?! Why?! JUST GO ALREADY!”
That’s pretty much the cycle. It gets sooooooooooooooooo frustrating. Here I am trying to get the truth out of him. The truth that he doesn’t want to be with me because of how the proposal has progressed. You know, with him leading me on a few times since the end of 2015/start of 2016. It hurts. It really does. So how can I believe him when he constantly guarantees and reassures me that the proposal will occur in Sept?! When since the end of 2015/start of 2016 and especially end June, I was led to believe he’d propose but he didnt?! So no matter how many times I’m reassured, I feel that it just doesn’t make sense for him to propose considering all this!
+ when it does come time to settle down, when will it be time to have children?! Or to buy a family car or for a family holiday or buy a house?! Considering our past, it’ll surely be on HIS WATCH and not OURS!
Post # 93
the unfortunate thing that there is really no “[email protected]
watch when it comes to being ready. Like there is no way to make a “compromise” with having kids, buying a house and getting married. Both parties need to be 100%. If one is just 70% the other 130% cannot balance it out. 🙁
i think he’d propose when you stop setting deadlines. Maybe he wants to surprise you, maybe he wants to feel like he is doing it freely and with you constantly asking and nagging he might not be able to realize that he wants to do it freely. He obviouslY WANTS to be with you! Otherwise he would not even put up with this.
try to not speak a word about a proposal anymore! Give yourself to not mention A WORD until 12/31 and see if he comes around and proposes on his own.
Post # 94
He is not going to marry you, he is telling you in 1000 ways over many years. Please get on with your life.
Post # 96
When my ex fiance proposed I knew when it was going to happen because I was terribly impatient and annoyed him until he told me. (Surprisingly this was not why we broke up lol) but next time around I’m letting my SO surprise me.