(Closed) I already know proposal date. Do you? Or did you?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 91
Member
47 posts
Newbee

Bee, having read all your posts on a few different threads I feel very concerned for you. You say you have been with this guy 9 years, and yet you don’t live together and in fact only see eachother once a week. Even without all the proposal stalling on his part, that alone seems a clear indicator that things aren’t progressing at all. I don’t mean to be blunt, but from everything you’ve posted your relationship sounds doomed. Do you really think the two of you have the kind of commitment and companionship it takes to make marriage work? I wonder if you might just feel like you’ve already invested so much time into waiting for him that you need a proposal now to validate it. I think you need to stop waiting for this guy and start your life. 

Post # 93
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
anonp :  the unfortunate thing that there is really no “[email protected] watch when it comes to being ready. Like there is no way to make a “compromise” with having kids, buying a house and getting married. Both parties need to be 100%. If one is just 70% the other 130% cannot balance it out. 🙁

 

i think he’d propose when you stop setting deadlines. Maybe he wants to surprise you, maybe he wants to feel like he is doing it freely and with you constantly asking and nagging he might not be able to realize that he wants to do it freely. He obviouslY WANTS to be with you! Otherwise he would not even put up with this.

 

try to not speak a word about a proposal anymore! Give yourself to not mention A WORD until 12/31 and see if he comes around and proposes on his own. 

Post # 94
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2002

 He is not going to marry you,  he is telling you in 1000 ways over many years.   Please get on with your life.  

Post # 96
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

When my ex fiance proposed I knew when it was going to happen because I was terribly impatient and annoyed him until he told me. (Surprisingly this was not why we broke up lol) but next time around I’m letting my SO surprise me. 

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