(Closed) "I already think of you as my wife."

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Aly7489:  Guys are pretty dumb when it comes to reationships.  When you are both having a good day you need to bring up these conversations and tell him why they bother you.  What he might think is a cute way to say he loves you, is confusing the matter of when and if ever he will actually propose and marry you.

Post # 4
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honestly, it sounds like just a matter of time which I know is hard but it really sounds like he’s going to propose soon. Just make sure you reinterate how important marriage is to you so he doesn’t wait too long! I hope he proposes soon 🙂

Post # 5
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would just talk to him. Ask him how he feels and you tell hi how you feel. 

Post # 6
581 posts
Busy bee


That is pretty annoying. My SO has said similar things about how he thinks of me as his (future) wife. Whenever he says something like that I remind him that he hasn’t asked me yet (usually in an equally cutesy way).

I know that he’s going to ask me someday (and probably fairly soon)- so I try not to worry about it.

Post # 7
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Aly7489:  My Darling Husband said the same thing. but its like we are already married. i didnt think it was that cute. i mean it is but it made me afraid that he felt he didnt need to get married since we “already” were. but he did eventually propose. i did make it clear, not in a mean way, that we wornt married. he asked at year 6.5 , he waited because his brother was getting married…. twice to the same woman that year. and he didnt want to steal his thunder  haha. so your SO doesnt sound much different. waiting sucks but it sounds like you two are getting there and he has a clear picture of what you are expecting out of the relationship. 😉 good luck and god speed hehe. i was going nuts by the time he asked me…. and then i felt so dumb for loosing my head so much. 

Post # 8
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The thunder-stealing thing is stupid.  Obviously your best friend would be thrilled for you if you got engaged!  She got engaged LAST summer?  How long does she get?  A year?  2 years?  Sounds like a stalling tactic on the part of your SO.

If he told me he felt like I was already his wife, I’d say “great!  Let’s make if official so the federal government will think so too!  When should we do it?”

Post # 10
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Aly7489:  I think its natural for a guy who is thinking about proposing but is also rather timid about it (after all it is a really big deal). My So confessed that he sometimes “Tries on the words, fiancee and wife” when discussing me to see how it feels/ get used to it. He used to joke about how he’d propse or how I should just propose to him. That all started over a year ago and I know there is no proposal in sight. It’s annoying and yet endearing which just adds to the hardship and confusion for us. Just tell him it makes you uncomfortable. He should understand that.

Post # 12
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club

I’d use those playful cues to open a real dialogue.  “I already think of you as my wife!” from him leads to a, “Sweetie, I’m so glad you said that.  Hearing you talk about marriage is really great because that is something I want for us.  When could you see us making that official?”  If he plays it down to, “Well go ahead and change your name.”- then you need to explain to him how important it is to you.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be married to this man, given that you both seem to want that eventually… it sounds like he might just be looking for some concrete clues that it is what you want too.

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