(Closed) I am a estatic newlywed! So why am I in such a funk…:(

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

awwwww, I am sorry you are going through this, it sounds like a combination of an EXTREMELY busy schedule and maybe a little bit of the post-wedding blues….You said the cousin’s wedding’s not for a few weeks, which is plenty of time to lose a little weight, if you focus on it and make it a priority…Same thing for being intimate with your hubby, sometimes you gotta put it on both of yours’ schedules, which isn’t exactly the sexiest or spontaneous thing in the world but if it makes it happen then….I literally have to write it in my planner and put it in his computer calendar when we both get super-busy (and you guys sound sooo busy)…I think it’s really common to get into a bit of a funk after one gets married, so maybe there are a few things coming up that you are excited about to focus on? Trips, vacations, projects, etc? Anyways, if worse comes to worse and you still feel unhappy with your weight as the wedding gets closer, buy a fabulous dress that hides the bad parts, shows off the good parts and makes your husband realize how gorgeous his wife is and walk into the wedding with your head held high…

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

So sorry you’re dealing with this! It sounds like you both are working really hard. This would be a busy, stressful time no matter where you are in your relationship. I think it’s important to remember that the wedding doesn’t make everything better. You still have to put forward a little effort to make the romance or whatever is missing, even putting it on the calendar like PP mentioned. 

I really hear you on the weight thing, I’ve put on a little post-wedding and I’m working out more now but really felt unattractive with the change. I also have a similar situation with seeing his family for the first time as his wife about a month ago, at a funeral, so of course it was short notice and I didn’t have a great dress and these relatives didn’t know we were married (hey, I didn’t know they existed to invite them, weird!).

My advice: (I know it’s tough) — you have to be happy with yourself. If you have some idea of what a perfect wife is, make sure you both agree. It doesn’t have to be a 50s TV mom if you’re both working so much. Your husband probably doesn’t need you to take care of him. Just continue being the woman he feel in love with and grow in your relationship, don’t put an outside standard on it.


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