(Closed) I am a first time bride….but this is his second wedding…..

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: What should I do as far as a bridal shower goes??
    Have the shower and invite guests from both sides : (43 votes)
    88 %
    Have the shower and only invite guests from your side : (5 votes)
    10 %
    Don't have a shower at all : (0 votes)
    Other.....please explain!!! : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I say have the shower and invite everybody.  I personally think you should be able to do whatever you want regardless of who’s first time it is, but my impression/experience with other people being first time brides to men who’ve been married before, is that people still really believe that a woman should get the full “bride” experience.  I doubt anybody would bat an eye at your having a shower.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I am also a first-time bride with a divorced Darling Husband.  I say invite everyone.  No one can blame you for that.  If they feel like it’s too much, they don’t have to come.  Our wedding was about 10 years after his previous one which is a long time and all of his family came and contributed.  I can understand it being harder for them if it was closer, but more likely, they will be really excited and would be upset not to be invited.  Don’t even worry about it…just do it!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’m a second time bride and so is my Fiance. I wouldn’t be surprised if his parents decide to throw something.  We’re already planning on having a party and inviting friends over (letting them gifts are NOT required!)

    I honestly think that you should do what you want.  If it’s your first time, have a shower and enjoy it!  Invite people from both sides.

    It’s kinda like babyshowers: even if you’ve already got one kid, you can still have a shower for the next!  and the next… and the next… 😉  You get the idea. 

    I don’t think anyone is going to complain or gripe about it and if they do, let ’em.  It’s not THEM getting married, it’s you and your FI!!!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    Please don’t do option 2!  I know that I would be very, very upset if I was excluded from an important event like a bridal shower!  If I had found out that my family members soon to be wife had a bridal shower and didn’t invite me I would really be offended…

    Post # 7
    Member
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    Yea, I would just invite everyone. You’re a new person in his life, and you deserve to have a party and be showered with gifts regardless of his past. If they feel that they should not give you a present, then it’s up to them not to come. I wouldn’t worry about it. Hope you get lots of fun things 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    We are the opposite (I’m a 2nd time bride, and he’s a 1st time groom).  I don’t know if we’re having a shower because we’re so far out from the wedding and not anywhere near that stage yet. (I didn’t the first time around…we were “so in love” and eloped…got divorced a year later).  If someone wants to throw us a shower, I won’t object just because I’ve been married before (it will have been over 10 years between my 1st and 2nd marriages).

    I would invite both sides of the family.

    Post # 9
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I had a very similar situation… I ended up with 3 showers– 1) a few of our close friends went tubing down the river and then had a cookout- VERY informal. We didn’t really get gifts except a few gift cards. 2) One of my bridesmaids threw one while we were on vacation with my side of the family. 3) my other bridesmaid threw a coffee lunch the day before the wedding so that we could invite people from both sides.

    His side really didn’t attend much, but we at least offered an invite.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Perhaps talk to his mother, sister or other close female relative and ask them.  “We want to include everyone in our pre-wedding festivities but don’t want anyone to feel obligated about bringing a gift”

    Darling Husband was married before but was in the military overseas so it was less of an issue for us.

    Post # 11
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I am a first time bride and my fiance is a 2nd time groom.   We’ve lived together for about a year and don’t really need anything.  However, we are having one shower and I didn’t invite his family.  None of his family live in the same state as us.  I hope I haven’t offended anyone! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I have a similar situation, although I don’t think his first wedding was as big of a deal not even sure if she had a shower. Either way that was about 10 years ago.

    My shower was a few weeks ago and I opted to invite all, let them choose if they prefer not to come. More of his family came than mine and they were thrilled to be there.

     

    Don’t let his past dictate you. That was then and this is now, you deserve everything any other bride gets

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    You never give your own shower–a friend or family member has to offer to do it.  However, if someone offers, you may certainly accept.  And the invitees can be anyone who is invited to the wedding.  The old rules about having a shower only for a first wedding are gone at this point.

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