(Closed) I am about to open another can of worms

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2867 posts
Sugar bee

why not put both on the invite?

Post # 5
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes, that’s correct b/c they are “hosting.”

What is the problem? Maybe we can help you with the wording.

Post # 6
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

See if it matters to your parents. My parents are funding the WHOLE wedding, and his parents refuse to even attend. My parents were fine with us leaving all parent names off the invite and just putting our names as the hosts. That way, it doesn’t seem like we’re picking favorites.

Post # 7
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I typically see invitations (no matter who is paying) that say something along the lines of:

Mr and Mrs Bride’s Parents
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

Bride’s First name + middle name


Groom’s first name + middle name

son of
Mr. and Mrs Groom’s parents

That way both parents feel included but for your case your parent’s are still recognized as the hosts.

Post # 8
2472 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes, typically the parents who are paying (hosting) the event, are listed on the invites.  However, you can still include his parents on it if you want.  It could say Mr and Mrs. bee-gotten’s parents request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter to Fiance…son of Mr and Mrs. FI’s parents.

There is no hard and set rule of what to say on your invitation.  If you want to include them on it, then do so.

Post # 9
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Who is “tradition”?  Are you doing every single thing that is traditional?  I seriously doubt it.  Everyone picks and chooses and plenty of people throw this particular tradition out the window.

Further it is perfectly traditional to have both sets of names on the invite but to have only one set hosting/paying. 

X and Y , parents of F invite you to F’s marriage with Z sone of P and O

it’s clear who’s doing the inviting but his side is also named.

But if they will be hurt by that phrasing I would very strongly recommend not saying who is paying on the invite.  IMO it is not worth hurt feelings to rub everyone’s faces in who paid.

Post # 10
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What you can do then, is say

Mr. and Mrs. Smith . . .

weddiing of their daughter/son

Jane/John Doe

daughter/son of

Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

That way you can put both names.

Post # 12
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

The “hosts” names are traditionally on the invitation but alot of people do the “together with their parents, Bride and Groom…..”

Maybe we can help or offer some suggestions if we have some background?

Post # 13
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Claxton Farm

We put “Together with their parents” because we paid for part of the wedding too. I think that’s the easiest way to avoid any issues…

Post # 15
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, why not put the “together with…” or “the son of…”  Would your parents be p.o.ed?  I think it would be a nice middle ground.

Post # 16
2820 posts
Sugar bee

Some traditions are just silly, especially if they don’t apply to you.  I always feel bad when I receive invitations with only one set of parents on the invite (unless there’s a good reason like death or they weren’t close to their family). 

Most invitations are to the ceremony with a small note about the reception.  And for the ceremony I feel like the biggest thing happening is you guys becoming husband and wife, and for that both families should be represented. 

If on the little thing at the bottom they only want to include whoever is funding the reception as them doing the inviting well whatever but for the main invitation both sets of parents are having their children be married and I think it’s just disrespectful in a lot of cases not to acknowledge it, even if one set is funding it less than the other side.

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