(Closed) I am allergic to our dogs

posted 8 years ago in Pets
Post # 32
Member
1695 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

While I agree that what he said is hurtful…I am putting myself in your DH’s shoes too.

If pushed that way with my dogs, in a fit of anger, I can easily imagine myself telling my husband that I choose my dogs.

However…he DOES owe you an apology.

Is there anyway you can meet in the middle?  I would be HEARTBROKEN if I had to get rid of my dogs….  ๐Ÿ™ 

Post # 34
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

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@Heather27:  I am not a mom…not to any humans anyway.  But I would try every avenue to keep my pets under difficult circumstances.  I do think you owe it to your 10 year old dog, and your husband’s beloved pet, to see an allergist and investigate better solutions than over the counter medicine.

However, it seems to me you already have your mind made up, and you don’t want the dogs around.  I do think finding a better home for them would be an improvement on them living in the garage.

Post # 37
Member
13094 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

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@hotchildinthecity:  “Not everyone on this site is going to agree with me, but my pets are like kids too.  I would make my husband try absolutely anything for us to be able to keep them.”

I’m with you.  I would make DH try many different allergy meds (and not just OTC stuff), allergy shots, the works.  I wouldn’t give up my dog unless it was the absolutely last option and then she would only go to a family member.

Post # 38
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Heather27:  I don’t think anyone here is suggesting you should suffer, and I only mentioned the mould to point out that there may be other underlying reasons for your flare-up.  I’m not attacking you for having the dogs in the garage, but surely you can see how it’s not a pleasant life for a dog?  I realize you’re doing the best you can, but it’s definitely not a long term solution.  You’ll still be allergic, and they’ll be miserable.

I think your options are essentially:

1.  Get your allergy tests, then have a frank discussion with your husband.  Bring him to the doctor’s appointment if necessary. Once he has a non-emotional medical opinion presented to him, I can’t imagine that he’ll still resist re-homing the dogs.

2.  Put up with it

3. Take them to your sister’s behind his back

4. Leave him

 

Obviously the first option is the best one.

Post # 39
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@mypinkshoes:  Lol agreed. (Kiddingly as well.)

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@Heather27:   And I’m sorry you are dealing with this.  My guy told me once if I made him choose between him and his dog he would choose his dog too which is sh*tty and hurtful.  I wouldn’t ever ask him to do that and he was an ass for even bringing it up.

He had issues with the dog and women before he was dating someone when he was deployed and left her to take care of his apartment and the dog (who was a puppy at the time) instead she decided it was too much for her, she left the apartment and tried to bring the dog to the pound.  Luckily he intercepted this and the dog went to one of his friends instead until he got back. And honestly I don’t really blame the girl for not wanting to play house when he wasn’t around but I would have talked to him about it instead of threathening to bring the dog to the shelter!  He had this really weird thing with the dog where he would treat it more like a child than a dog probably from guilt or something.  I have got him to treat the dog more like a dog over the years and he has stopped letting the dog sleep on the bed for the most part or helped with things because the dog hair (his dog sheds like crazy!) has finally gotten to him too.  Also I ended up getting a dog as well which is great.  Now I’m not as resentful that I help take care of the dogs because one of them is mine.  He wanted to get another dog and I was so not about that.  Another big dog that sheds and I have to take care of them both and deal with him babying them!  Hell no!  I got a little Chihuahua who doesn’t shed like his dog and its pretty awesome.  My guy has gotten to love him too but has also realized what a pain in the ass it can be to care for someone else’s dog so he’s a lot more understanding now.

Your husband is being incredibly stubborn.  How can he say its my dog and I love it more than you but I also expect you to cater to them even though you are allergic to it and getting ill and also are spending the day taking care of our child.  That’s not okay.  I think you need to sit down and have a conversation with him about this because I would be extremly hurt and feel really disrespected.  He should take care of them too.  This responsiblity shouldn’t just lay on your shoulders.  Does he expect you to do most of everything while he just sits on his ass or is this the only thing he’s a pain about?  

Does he understand that you taking care of the dogs is making you ill and could impact your ability to properly take care of your children?  Why do you have to be the one doing all the work here?  If the meds don’t work they will have to stay in the garage, they would have a much happier life at your sister’s house.  He should really be more understanding here and start seeing things from your point of view, this is just not okay.

Post # 40
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I get where your husband is coming from, and as I told my DH when we first got together almost 11 years ago, my animals and I are a package deal. That said, my DH is also allergic to half the things on planet earth, and I can’t tell you how much of a difference a good allergist makes. He’s been seeing one since he was a child, and the right combination of medication can make you a whole new person. My DH has also had allergy shots which really cut down on all his symptoms. Now they’re mostly seasonal and controlled with over the counter stuff and a steroid nasal spray.

Post # 41
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Everyone else has thoroughly addressed the DH issue but…

 

Are your dogs in the garage all the time? It doesn’t sound like a very nice life. They might be better off in a new home. 

Post # 42
Member
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you are going through this! And I apologize in advance if I have missed something amongst the many posts.

 

Number 1:

The dogs are kept in a garage, so honestly, you should probably NOT have a dog/or pet at this point in your life. I know you love them and would give anything for the situation to be different, but try to keep the dogs best interest at heart.

Number 2:

 You and your husband may want to consider some counseling, as it seems as though some feelings have been hurt and some things need to be cleared up in terms of priorities and such.

Post # 45
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I also have allergies and dogs, and it can get pretty rough!  I think you should go to an allergist, get tested, and then hopefully they can prescribe you some good allergy meds and/or get you allergy shots.  I take two allergy meds every evening, plus I’ll take Claritin as well if I know I am going to be in a bad allergy situation, and this seems to be the only thing that works for me.  For what it’s worth, I also tried allergy shots for about 5 years and they never helped, but they do help many people.

You also need to tell your husband that you understand how important the dogs are to him, but he needs to do more house/dog-related cleaning (or you need to get a maid).  You should also be taking the dogs to get groomed rather than grooming/brushing them yourself–grooming is terrible for allergies!

Finally, it is unfair that the dogs have to be in the garage right now, so if you are getting cleaning help from your DH or a maid, you’re seeing an allergist and taking all the prescribed meds/shots, and the dogs still can’t be in the house without you getting really sick, then you will have exhausted all of your options and the dogs need to go live in a happy home where they are not stuck in the garage.  Good luck with everything!

Post # 46
Member
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@hotchildinthecity:  I know, I’m trying to keep them until I find them a home. The other problem, other than my allergies to them (it’s really just the 1 cat), is that we’re moving 600 miles away and I’m not sure how I’m going to get them down.  They freak out over a 5 min car ride.  ๐Ÿ™

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