- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
My fiancé and I have been together officially for about 2 ½ years and have been in each other’s lives for about 6 years. I am black. He is white. I am also older than him. For all of these years, his mom has asked him if he was sure he wanted to date a black girl who is older than him. She once asked him how he dealt with my “attitude” and he responded by saying, “The same way I deal with yours.” (There were many other things that have happened of course but, I don’t want to write a novel…)
She is overly involved in her kids’ lives and I hate it. So when she does it to me about the wedding, showers, honeymoon, and other things about the wedding, it becomes a little too much for me. I went to her house and showed her some wedding dresses I found and the one I really liked. She told me she didn’t like the bottom but, since it’s my wedding day, I should get what I like. I told her to try not to make any comments at the wedding. (My family would not keep their mouths shut like I try to.) She also asked me about three times, in the course of 35 minutes, if we were really ready to be married.
I told her I would have to get used to her involvement because, if I tell my mom something she will give me her opinion once and unless I bring it up again she won’t. (Key words: “I will have to get used to it.”) She blew up at me and acted like I was completely out of line. She said she hoped I could forgive her one day. I felt bad but, I refused to say I am sorry because I approached her face to face while she has been talking about me behind my back the entire time. (I also said it in front of her daughter so that she couldn’t go back and tell her son that I said anything more than I did.)
My fiancé is away on business but, he was great in saying that we were a team and if she can’t respect me after all these years, then we both may need to take a break from her. His father (her ex-husband) also made me laugh and was really there for me. I know that I have a great support system and I love them for it.
I want to know your Future Mother-In-Law and/or Mother-In-Law stories and where you are now.