(Closed) I am asking too much or being a brizezilla about this

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m of the mindset that they are adults and they should be trusted to act like adults.  Offer the room to them but if they say no I really don’t think you should try to force them to stay in your suite.  If they get drunk and have a hangover I’m sure like most adults they’ll have tylenol handy.  I really think you are over thinking this and stressing about things that shouldn’t be stressed over.  Plus, cots are not comfortable and you don’t want your bridal party waking up with back pain and being all uncomfortable the next day lol.  Good luck!

Post # 18
420 posts
Helper bee

It’s a sweet thought. It is nice that you care so much about all of you BM’s.. But, they are adults and I am sure they have had hangovers before, so I wouldn’t worry too much about them. Offer them to stay with you, but don’t stay up all night worrying if they decline. Plus, I a lot of adults with husbands/children/pets, don’t like to spend the night out. I personally would never go for that. I like my own bed, plus I’m 27 and I just don’t like sleepovers anymore…. and I like sleeping next to my hubby!

My friend recently suggested to me that we have girls night and like 6 of us could watch movies, eat popcorn and have a sleepover at her house. I thought she was kidding!! What a sweetheart though!

Post # 19
10363 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would say this would be ok for the girls who WANT to do this, but don’t make it mandatory. I, for one, would never be able to sleep in a room with that many other people, especially having to share one bathroom. I’d be a cranky mess the next day. Make it an option available to the girls if you like, but don’t make it so that they feel like they *have* to do it. Also, many hotels limit the amount of guests in a room, so you may not actually be able to get cots for that many people in one place. And, if you are getting ready for the wedding in the suite, make sure you can get all the beds cleared out so that you have space and the “getting ready” pictures don’t look like a bomb went off in the place!

Post # 20
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah a room with ten people sounds…not so good. Four grown women in one bed? A bit much. Also, I’m sure they’ve all had hangovers before and know how to deal with them. and I agree with nexus-i don’t even think you can have that many people in one room. It just sounds really uncomfortable, and top that off with a hangover they’ll probably be in worse shape than if they had just gone back to their own homes in their own beds.

Post # 22
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you are that concerned about people drinking at the rehearsal dinner there is an easy fix: DRY REHEARSAL.

Post # 23
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Honestly, I think it is sweet that you are so concerned, but I think you are going a bit overboard with the drinking worries.  Are these the same people from the other weddings you are mentioning who will be in yours?  These all seem like three very extreme examples of what can go wrong.  Your guests are adults and you are not their parent, I really don’t think that you need to turn into (and I mean this in the nicest way), the drinking police regarding your rehearsal dinner.

What are you friends like?  Do they have a habit of binge drinking and then getting behind the wheel?  If so, how about providing transportation such as family members who offer to drive them and take them back to the hotel or a taxi.  Do you think they will get too wasted the night before your wedding and not be able to show up?  If so, this may mean they really aren’t that good of friends if they can’t control themselves for one night.

It sounds like you are just a genuinely nice person who is trying to make sure everyone stays safe, which is a wonderful thing, but it isn’t your responsibility after the dinner is over.  How about offering up the hotel room and asking a family member to drive you and the girls back to the hotel after the dinner?  Otherwise, you really can’t control what goes on.  If someone was liable, it would be the restaurant for over-serving them.  Besides, how long is your rehearsal dinner really going to last?  I’m surprised you aren’t more concerned about the wedding if you are having alcohol at that.  Those are usually MUCH longer and people in general drink more there than at the dinner.


Post # 24
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Holy cow!  I can see why you would be concerned with experiences like that!  Even so, I would say making it a dry rehearsal would be a better option than making them stay with you, plus it sounds like that might put your mind at ease a bit more anyway.  Every rehearsal I’ve been to has been a really low key affair, usually just a dinner and over by 8 or 9.  They’re getting a big party the very next night, there’s no reason why the rehearsal dinner has to be some big drink-fest.

Post # 25
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I think if you are as concerned as you are, which I can understand why after those horror stories, that you should have a dry rehersal. Alcohol is just not that necessary at a rehersal.

All the ones I have been to have been very relaxed and mature affairs with toasts and gift exchanges. Not ragers, lol. I don’t think there is any reason why you should have all that stress on you the night before your wedding because of something so small as alcohol. That just seems silly to me.

Post # 29
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

i think its nice of u to offer for them to crash with u, n honestly i dont think its too much to ask for them to spend ONE night together in ur room.. i would love to be able to have a huge room like that n then i would ask my bms to do the same.. the way i see it, if they arent close enough to me to share a room with me for one night for my wedding then why are then in my bridal party? lol

Post # 30
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with PPs to offer your room but don’t require that they stay. And are you actually that worried about them drinking and driving? I should hope not. If so, you may altogether have another issue on your hands.

As for me, I would appreciate the offer, but I like to be in my own bed with my FH at night and you may have BM’s that feel that way too.

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