Post # 1
Hello . So i have 4 bridemaids. Each of them had to pay $200 for their dress plus their partners are the grooman and they have to pay another $200 for tuxedo rental . So in total Per couple it was $400 . And also i have to add that i have been bridemaids to 3 of the 4 girls . In which i paid for the dress ( cheaper dress than mine $125) and hair ($80) .. i decided that i wanted everyone with the same hairstyle ( i really dont like when isnt the same ) . I am giving them the jewelry . And for hair i found someone that does the hair for $65 i told them and they said it was too expensive . So i said because i really want them to look the same i will gave $25 to each so they only have to pay $40 . But still they said to ask for an discount or that each will do the hair whatever they like … this kinda made me mad . Like is my wedding and that is what i want … i dont know if i am begin too selfish and i shoukd let them do the hair whatever they want ? ..
Here the norm is that the bridemaid pay for everything but i am going beyond my buget to help them . Plus i pay more ( bigger ) the limosine so everyone can fit . Open bar ( normally here is cash bar )
And they cant pay $40 .. when i spent more for their wedding .. and i think what bothers me the most is that . They said at the end each will do the hair How they want … .
Post # 2
If you want their hair done a specific way, you need to pay for it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
You are making them pay for a lot. I would give them a break on the hair. If you want them to have it done, and the same, you need to pay for it.
Post # 4
winterprincesse: If you are requiring them to have their hair done professionally, no matter what style, you pay.
If you are requiring them to have their hair done professionally in a specific style, you definitely pay.
The amount you spent on their wedding is irrelevant.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
General rule I believe is that if you’re dictating that a certain service be used, then you pay for it. Is it not possible for them to do their own hair in the style you want?
Post # 6
Honestly, it’s your wedding and you should be able to ask them to wear a certain dress and certain hairstyle. It’s one day and they can live with it. That said, did you discuss budgets with them ahead of time? Were they aware that you wanted them to spend around $500 to be in your wedding? If not, I can see why they’d be upset.
Post # 8
Here it’s common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses too, but I think if you expect hair and/or makeup to be done a certain way and are dictating who does their hair then you need to pay for it. You could always say, I’d like for you to have a side bun (or whatever you want) and let them figure out a way to get it done. That way they could either do it themselves or have someone do it for them, but ultimately it’s up to them how much they pay for it.
Post # 9
I think that you should pay the full price of their hair and/or makeup if you want it done a specific way for your wedding.
Post # 10
1. Let them do their hair however they want. I don’t get this matching hairstyles thing to begin with. A little creepy.
2. By your own math, they are paying a lot more to be in your wedding than you did to be in theirs, even before you add the hair charge.
Post # 11
winterprincesse: Short answer, yes, you are being a bit of a bridzilla.
First, it is your choice that you want them to have matching hair styles that should dictate you should pay. Anything that you dictate other than the dress, you should pay for.
Second, your friends are telling you that they can’t afford something, and you are basicaly saying “too bad, my day my way.”
Third being a bridesmaid should not be a tit for tat in costs. Priorities change and just because you paid X to be in their wedding does not mean they owe you X amount of contribution to be in yours.
Post # 12
you should pay for the hair if youre requiring it of everyone.
Post # 13
“I’m going beyond my budget to help them.”
But what was THEIR budget? Did you ask them what their budget was for clothing, hair and make-up first?
I mean I kinda don’t blame them. A bridesmaid is putting out $265 (dress/hair) so far and it doesn’t look like you have factored in make-up yet; and don’t forget gratuity. Did you have your bridal shower yet – because typically they’ll have to contribute for that and the bachelorette party (if you’re having one) as well.
Post # 14
You should pay for their hair if you’re requiring a certain style.
Post # 15
I have to say that i paid $80 for hair in their wedding when i was an bridemaid because they wanted the exact hairstyle for the bridemaids too. I told them that I dont care about the make up they can do whatever they want or the shoes . And for hair i dont care about the hairstyle . I said i want an updo whatever they want but it have to be the same .