Post # 1
At what point does a personal preference for someone turn into a fetish?
Would you be a-okay with someone if they had a fetish for your kind of person? Would it be a plus or a minus for someone?
(ps: I’m not in this situation with my Fiance, I was just curious)
Post # 3
A preference and a fetish are two VERY different things. VERY.
There are several fetishes that would be automatic nos for me, but a few that would be okay. It also depends on the intensity.
Post # 4
@vorpalette: <- typed exactly what I would have said.
Post # 5
Well, what’s the difference? Cause a fetish is supposed to be an attraction that’s not “normal”…but who defines normal? Do people think fetish = obsession? Or, perhaps it’s that someone with, say, a fetish for women with red fingernails…that person would ONLY be turned on when red fingernails were present…
Post # 6
I think they are totally different things. As I see it, a preference is an aspect or trait someone finds attractive. A fetish is when someone focuses all their attraction on that one trait, often to the point of being reductive and ignoring or devaluing anything outside of that trait.
Post # 7
@sarahbabs: Apparently, there are different degrees of fetishism. Some have a fetish for a thing, body part, whatever, but not to the exclusion of all else. Some people’s lives are affected by their fetish — those people are the ones who could be diagnosed with having a fetish.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
A fetish is defined by “an object, idea, etc. eliciting unquestioned reverence, respect, or devotion.” and/or “any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation”
This is not the same as a preference. A preference is just that– when given a choice, you prefer “xyz” but you don’t require “xyz”. A fetish is a sexually stimulated devotion to something; a preference is a greater liking for one alternitive over others.
Post # 9
Fetishes are sexual attractions to unconventional things. A preference is just something you like.
Post # 10
As for whether or not I’d be willing to be with someone who had a fetish for “my kind of person” … I’d think no.
I mean, let’s say I lost my legs in an accident (and Darling Husband was mysteriously out of the picture), and some guy started giving me a lot of attention because he had a fetish for amputees. Not cool. Be with me for ME, not because I fit the bill for what gets you off!
I just can’t imagine how hard it must be for little people, or for the conjoined twins Abby and Brittany. How can you ever really trust that someone is honestly into YOU and not that thing that makes you different?
Post # 11
A preference is not the same thing as a fetish. Darling Husband has a preference for brunettes (which I am) but brunettes in general do not cause the sort of erotic response that a fetish would.
As for whether I’d be happy with a fetish it would depend. If a man had a fetish for curvy women (which I am), then I wouldn’t have a problem with that because it’s part of my physical make-up; I would have a problem if (as one guy I dated did) they had a fetish for stockings and suspenders and valued that above the women wearing them.
Post # 12
Here’s another cog in that wheel:
What if, you’re in a relationship with a guy, and it seems normal at first, and you fall in love, but then you realise that all of his exes were __, the same as you?
Would it freak you out enough to end it?
Would you try to work with it?
What would you DO???
Post # 13
A fetish and a preference are not the same. As to your second post, it would have to be something really creepy that linked us for me to even think about it….like if we’re all petite brunettes? No, wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. Most likely he just has a “type” that he finds attractive. If we were all petite brunettes with a scar on our left hand and the same first name and all had the same type job and looked alike and all had a pet dog? OK, that level of coincidence would make me wonder if he was running some sort of scheme lol.
Post # 14
@Double_rainbow: Honestly, why should it make a difference? They’re not the same person as you.
Post # 15
@SpecialSundae: I think it would suggest that they aren’t really into YOU so much as this unique thing about you, though. I assume the OP is referring to something more substantial than just blondes with short hair — we’re talking being an amputee who is with someone who has only dated amputees. I’d smell something fishy for sure.
Post # 16
@iarebridezilla: Actually, the OP never made it that specific.
My ex dated loads of girls just like me (in looks and personality) after we split up. None of them had a problem with it (in fact I’m now friends with one). We all just thought it showed he had good taste.