- 6 years ago
Last night my dad called me to ask me what date my shower should be on (apparently my aunt and cousin asked him, too) and I told him the same thing I told my uncle’s wife: “I think May would be good, but really, I’m not supposed to be the one who makes this decision. Whatever is most convenient for my hosts is what I’ll be happy with.” So my dad was like, “Well, you know, we all feel like we’re walking on eggshells. It’s like, ‘Better ask the bride, so she doesn’t get mad!'”
That comment really hurt/confused me. Now I feel like the whole family is viewing me as some sort of Bridezilla. But, I have really done my best NOT to be that way. The only thing I have been selective about is our guest list. We have a certain space/budget limit, and there are a few relatives who I am adament that I do not want at my wedding. Those issues have been really hard to get my relatives to accept, so I guess they see it as me being unreasonable when I tell them I cannot afford to host all of my extended relatives and that I do not want convicts at my wedding stealing things and making scenes.
I have not asked anyone for anything, period. All I ever expected anyone to do is show up at my wedding the day of, sober, punctual and dressed decently (which probably is expecting too much). I haven’t requested help with projects, I haven’t asked anyone to throw me any showers or bach. party, I haven’t talked incessantly about my wedding to others, I haven’t made restrictions on what anyone can wear, etc. I’ve been very easy going and understanding with all of them.
The only major inconvenience is that my wedding is four and a half hours away, by car. Since the wedding is at 7 PM, this means everyone will at least need to stay one night in a hotel. Because I know that this trip isn’t financially feasible for everyone, I have been incredibly understanding of anyone who cannot make it. I would NEVER question anyone if they said they couldn’t come, because I know it is asking a lot.
I have not once gotten mad at anyone for anything. Hell, nobody has done anything for me to get mad about! This shower is the first time anyone has attempted to do anything for me. I haven’t even spoken to most of my relatives since September! So, it’s not like I’ve blown up on them over things before, or anything. Why would I be mad that someone was throwing me a shower? Why would I get mad if the hosts told me, “Hey, we’re thinking of having your shower the third weekend in June.”? I wouldn’t. I would be happy! I’ve never been that kind of person, so why they feel like they’re “walking on eggshells” is beyond me!
So, I guess there is a blurred line between being a raging Bridezilla and having a few preferences.