(Closed) I am clueless about weddings and how the invites and save the date works.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think save the dates are best when you’re including a lot of out of towners or a destination wedding.  If everyone is within 3-4 hours driving, I don’t think you really need STD (that’s Save The Dates, in WB speak).

You make your invites/STD as creatively as you want.  One of my girlfriends knew that I totally loved graphic design but chose instead to go the Vistaprint route because she wanted it to be easy.  I actually only did a wedding website (had 65 people attend) and found that totally worked for us.  Its really about where you want to put the effort in…

Post # 4
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Congratulations on your engagement! I suggest that you try to pick up a wedding planning book (secondhand if possible) ASAP. This was a big help for me as I tried to figure out when and what needed to be done. You might find the timelines at The Knot and the wedding timeline checklist here [http://russellandhazel.com/content/wedding-templates] helpful.

You don’t have to mail out a formal save the date, especially if you don’t have many out of town guests. It’s essentially 1) a fun project and 2) a courtesy for people to let them know months in advance that they should be hopefully planning to attend this event. Obviously there’s a big difference between going to a friend’s wedding across town and having to make all the arrangements to fly across the country — you’d want to know this was coming up at least 6 months in advance, so you could start saving and planning, right? (I sent mine out 8 months ahead, because we had a lot of folks traveling for the wedding.)

But — if you don’t have time or money to send out a formal save-the-date, or if your guest list is mostly local, an email save the date with a picture of you and your fiance, or a cute design from punchbowl.com would be totally fine to let everyone know the basics. If that sounds like too much work, word-of-mouth is OK too.

Your actual invitations should go out about 3 months in advance. Again, this gives people time to plan –“oh, we need a hotel on THIS side of town, near the reception site.” But if you have a small guestlist who is already pretty well-informed, 2 months would be OK too. The closer to the time you get, the more potential conflicts people may have.

People will take their cue from your invitation about how formal a wedding it is. You can totally handmake invites (and come out with a lovely, formal looking product)…you can have them printed by a professional printer or by Vistaprint if that works better…or again, if the whole thing seems too much, you can email the invitations. But people will presume an informal wedding if you email…just as they would presume something fancy if you send out engraved script invites.

Hope this was helpful!

 

Post # 6
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I sent save the dates to everyone – once we set the date, I just wanted people to know when to plan for. I sent them 8 months in advance, although that’s a longer timeframe than some people will suggest.  They just said Save the date! *** and ***, August 4, 2013.  Our actual invites will go out two or three months before the wedding, and will include all the information and an RSVP card.

I found the Real Simple Weddings magazine/almost book to be very helpful when I was starting, and it includes a lot of timelines and lists (you can also find a lot of them on their website: http://browse.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/weddings/index.html )

Good luck and have fun!

Post # 7
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sruan:  @WillyNilly:  i sent my std’s to everyone.  that way they could put it on their calendars ahead of time.  some of my guests are very busy and travel a lot so i thought it best this way.

Post # 8
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sruan:  I would not send save the dates to only out of town guests. We sent ours 11 months before our date to all of the people on our guest list. You don’t HAVE to have Save-The-Date Cards, but I like them because I like to plan my schedule accordingly–they’re just a heads up that the wedding date and and invitation are coming. Invitations are sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding, with the RSVP date 2-4 weeks before the event date.

As far as what an STD looks like, it can look like anything. I designed ours myself and had them printed through Vistaprint.

Post # 9
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@sruan:  If you choose to send out a save-the-date, they should go to everyone…but the info is most crucial for out-of-towners to have in advance, even if you don’t send out an actual, physical save-the-date. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Save the Dates are optional and it varies from Bride to Bride. Some people like myself sent it to the all of the guest. I just think it’s a nice heads up for everyone to know what the dates are for the wedding. Also the majority of guest list is oot so it helpful to those traveling.

I would advise you to just hang around the boards because there is a lot ways to do things and people have various ideas about when and how to send them. So just hang out and figure out which works best for you and your guest list.

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