Post # 1
I was a bridesmaid in my high school friends wedding last weekend and I’m really confused about what ‘order’ I was in.
There were 4 of us total including the Maid/Matron of Honor (sister). We are all from different stages in her life, I was her best friend in middle school/high school, there was a college friend and a post college friend in the mix. A couple months ago, she wrote me an email saying that I was her ‘best’ friend as we’ve stuck together so long through good and bad times. But I would say she is ‘closest’ with the college friend who was recently laid off and hanging out with her almost every day.
On her program, my name is listed right after the Maid/Matron of Honor, not in alphabetical order. But then, at the wedding she had me walk first and I was standing farthest away from her and her husband during the vows. There’s a chance it was meant to be in height order for pictures, but I find that kind of strange.
What do you think? Was I first or last?
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2010 - Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters
Honestly I don’t think that you should read into it that much. Be honored that you were a bridesmaid, obviously she cares enough about you to include you in her wedding!
Post # 4
The way I set my girls up, I put the person who was least closest to me as the first person walking in…so that they stood in order of the closest to me going away from me. Does that make sense? So in my scenario, you would have been the least closest to me.
However, I wouldn’t have read into your situation that much. It sounds as if she did everything in height order (which I’ve also seen at other weddings), so it depends on the bride. I was also going to be the “first in” for another friend’s wedding b/c she wanted someone very close to her to be seen first. So it really depends on how the bride looks at it. I wouldn’t worry too much about it though.
Post # 5
I wouldnt read into it so much. We’re doing our purely by height (except the MoH.) I was in one not long ago where I was on the end bc I was the tallest – but was the clsoest to the bride after her MoH. Everyone does it differently, d just take it as an hnor that you were asked to stand for her
Post # 6
I had my ladies in order of height and I believe they were listed the same in the program. I wouldn’t read too much into it. If you know where you truly stand in your relationship with her, then it should be just fine.
Post # 7
I’m going to add that I was very honored to stand for her and at the end of the day and I know it’s not a big deal. I was just very confused and even my FH (who came to the wedding) asked why I was standing farthest away. We both think it’s more of an honor to be standing closer, that’s how we’re doing it. But we were lined up in height order, even the groomsmen were so that’s a possibility, she just never said so.
Post # 8
I’ve had wedding coordinators re-arrange BM’s at the last minute b/c of height, only for the bride to re-arrange them again. Standing up by height is not uncommon. I’d think the way she listed it in the program is the way she intended to have you on stage.
Try not to let where you stood rank your value of friendship, though. We all have relationships that ebb and flow through life. Sometimes you will be closer and sometimes you will not. If you ever feel yourself doubting your importance to that friend, keep in mind that she chose you to be a special part of her wedding day and make a continued effort to be a good friend to her.
Post # 9
I agree don;t read into. I’ve never heard of walking in based on least closest. I’ve only heard of walking in based on your height and the height of the groomsman you’re paired with. etc…
Post # 10
my girls were so laid back, they didn’t care which order they went in. My husband was more concerned about the order of his groomsmen. We matched up the ladies per height of the groomsmen, so they just fell into place that way. The girl that stood the furthest away was actually the one to give the toast at the reception, so the order really didn’t matter of who was closest or best to me.
Post # 11
It sounds to me that she wanted to not offend anyone, so she did both to ‘even’ out the situation =)
Post # 12
height order is pretty common for the order of the bridesmaids, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Post # 13
I think she wanted to let you know that she didn’t put you last to snub you, that it was just a logistical thing b/c she still thinks you’re one of her besties! Esp since she listed you after her Maid/Matron of Honor =]
Post # 14
yeah, seriously, don’t read into it. You were in her wedding, which means you are definitely important to her. I’m having my girls go in in order of height…they all mean the world to me though!
Post # 15
I didn’t even know you were supposed to put them in order of how close they were.. how could you even quantify that?! All my girls are special, which is why I asked them to be bridesmaids. I wouldn’t think about it all – it’s no biggie 🙂
Post # 16
If she had you lined up by height and never mentioned it she probably just forgot to. On a hectic day it would be amazing to remember to tell people why they were where they were in line. I wouldn’t worry about it =)