Post # 1
We are leaving for Hawaii on Sunday, 6 days away. We designed my ring in June and finalized the design (so I thought) and put the deposit down on July 1. It was suppose to take 3, maybe 4 weeks so it was suppose to be done by July 29. It says “completion date:July 22” on the receipt. Also in June I told the jeweler it would be amazing if it was done before we left for Hawaii and he said it would be. So I get an email 2 hours ago feom the jeweler telling me that he [finally] got the final design back from the manufacturer and that if I approve the design we can go ahead and start with the process of having it made and when I approve it he will cut communication with me and only talk to SO from here on out. UM WHAT?! I thought my damn ring was already finished and I’m just now finding out it hasn’t even been started?! I am soooooo crushed and really pissed off at the jeweler.
I asked my SO about it and he said he was under the impression it was almost finished just like I was. I thought he might be trying to throw me off but I’m really not sure at this point. Today was his off day and I had to meet someone an hour away. I asked him if he wanted to go with me and he said no. About 35 min into my drive that’s when I got the email. I also wrote SO a letter lastnight talking about how excited I was for our trip and all of that. I mean he would’ve had plenty of time to go to the jeweler and tell him I’m on his scent and to try to throw me off (I’m really bad at ruining surprises) but I really don’t feel like that’s what’s going on after talking to SO.
I got home and just cried like I had been doing for the past 2 hours. I know it seems like I’m being a spoiled brat about being proposed to in Hawaii but I’m just so sad. This year has been the toughest and probably worst year of my life and it was the one thing I was looking forward to. Both of my parents are deceased and they honeymooned in Hawaii and although we’ve been before, I just feel a connection to my parents there that is hard to explain. That’s why I really wanted it there and I didn’t care how it happened, just wanted it on vacation but SO said it’s all about the story to me and that’s it’s the bee’s fault, which isnt true. Also my ring is designed to incorporate diamonds from my mom’s ring and my boyfriends late mom’s ring so it will be really special.
I just really don’t know what to do right now. I’m so hurt and I’ve made SO mad by being hurt. When I asked if he wanted to go to the jeweler to see what the hell was going on, he said there was no point. When I told him that he just didn’t care he said he did care and actually planned to go up there tomorrow. At this rate I’m so sad because I know the one thing I wanted to happen on this trip isn’t going to happen and I’m not even really excited about it anymore…
and I’m on my period so I just want to crawl under a rock until tomorrow, and pray that is is better.
Post # 2
ksn1219: Let’s see: You can still be proposed to in Hawaii. You will still become engaged in Hawaii. You’ll just be getting the ring later. Hmmm…
I didn’t have a ring when my husband proposed. It was a surprise. We were poor college students. Weeks after we were engaged, my grandmother volunteered to gift us her engagement ring, since it didn’t fit her anymore.
It wasn’t custom made/ordered. The style probably wouldn’t have been my choice. And the center stone was about 1/4 of a carat. But did I care? No!
It represented the love my grandfather had for her and the love my husband (of now almost 37 years) had for me and it didn’t matter one bit that I received it weeks after his proposal.
Post # 3
ksn1219: Hmmm. I don’t know your SO but he seems to be really laid back about all of this. Is that the way he normally is? Maybe he is conspiring with the jeweler so that you will be surprised?
If that’s not the case, that is incredibly frustrating that they have clearly missed their deadline and haven’t even started on the ring. Maybe he can propose with a placeholder ring, so you will still have the proposal in Hawaii. Or, he doesn’t necessarily HAVE to have a ring to propose. Take a deep breath and try and enjoy your vacation!
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
Yeah, you can’t be depressed or upset. It is what it is right now.
you have a great boyfriend who loves you, is customizing a RING for you, is going to hawaii with you on vacation, that you KNOW you are going to be engaged to shortly.
It shouldn’t matter when and where, just to who.
I do get what you are saying, I think as women, we see all these love stories and movies and expect some grand gesture proposal and want the romance. Of course Hawaii, romantic, on vacation would be great. But reality is saying otherwise.
Wedding planning is mostly something the woman does. The proposal is mostly the only thing that the man does and have control over. Don’t ruin it for him or by being depressed. Let him have this one thing..no matter when it is.
When it does happen, no matter where, I hope that you will still be just as overwhelmed, excited and happy for his sake.
Post # 5
Does your boyfriend understand the sentiment behind Hawaii? Your partner can’t be a mind reader, so sometimes you have to ask for what you want. However, if you have expressed your hopes and desires, you do have a right to be upset over his unresponsive behavior. A placeholder rings sounds like the best alternative!
Post # 6
PABride: That’s what I told him! After we both calmed down he came back in and we talked about it. I told him it wasn’t all about the story and the ring. We both know that we love each other more than anything and are lucky to have each, which is what the first half of my letter was lastnight. At this point I can’t do anything but wait til next week and enjoy our trip!
emstar168: Yes, he’s usually super duper laid back and I’m obviously the control freak lol His Stepdad and his wife both think that he is trying to throw me off and said the email and my boyfriend’s response sounds a little fishy but I don’t want to get my hopes up. I told him he could still do it in Hawaii if HE really wanted to and he said “so you want me to do it without your ring” and I told him I didn’t really care, but I think he wants to do it with the ring so we will see and hope for the best!
MrsTtoB: I know! I am so lucky to have him for the past 5 years and we both know that. We both have been through so much this year and we are blessed to have each other to lean on. In regards to the wedding planning, we are actually having a “weddingmoon” and that was all his idea. He had to convince me to give up my wedding that I had always dreamed about, but I am happy with the way we will be doing it. And no matter what, I will be thrilled because I couldn’t imaging having anyone else by my side!
Post # 7
KarenK: Yes, he does. I have hinted several times, including just last night. I have also told him numerous times that I feel a connection with my parents there and he just said that they will be with us no matter where it happens. We have taken all of the diamonds out of our mom’s wedding rings to use in my ring, but I have a diamond band that belonged to his mom that I plan on wearing after anyways so I think that would be perfect!
Post # 8
ksn1219: I feel your pain, our jeweller messed up BIG TIME and I’m still waiting for my ring 6 months later!!! I’d say still get engaged in the place you dreamt of! I still got proposed too, just with a picture of the design for the ring instead of the actual ring!! Don’t let silly jewellers ruin it for you 🙂
Post # 9
Sparkles30: Oh my god I would be furious!! I’m glad you still get your dream proposal! I suggested that to him also. At this point we have talked about it, he says he is going up there tomorrow so we will just have to wait and see.
Post # 10
I’d discuss getting a stand in ring for the proposal in Hawaii with your FI. Then you can have your actual ring whenever it’s ready
Post # 11
ksn1219: We have just ordered my e-ring and are waiting for it to arrive. We have a few trips coming up, and I often find myself wondering if any of these trips will end in a proposal. I think you can drive yourself crazy sitting and wondering. I really want to enjoy my trips regardless of whether we become engaged or not. So I have made a conscious decision to just forget about it, it is really hard, but I want to enjoy my trips and not end up resenting my man at the end of each one lol. Just sit back and relax, sometimes surprises are nice. 🙂
Post # 12
My husband proposed to me 4 am in the morning with my engagement ring sitting in our dresser in its box. we were in our pajamas and should have been asleep but here he was proposing to me and it didn’t matter because what did matter was he said. And I’ll always remember that do whether he proposes with or without the ring remember it’s who you marrying and he sounds like a swell guy.
Post # 13
mrs.joiner: He is such a great guy! I know it’s not about where or when it is, only that it happens! I can’t wait for it to happen and I’m so impatient lol
UPDATE: He told me he handled it yesterday. Said the jeweler told him that he sent the stuff off when we put the deposit down but the design wasn’t structurally sound so the company had to redo it so it would be. So apparently that’s what has taken so long. Jeweler said he would try to get it hurried but my boyfriend was like “WELL WERE LEAVING IN 5 DAYS!!” which seems damn near impossible…I’ve re-read the old emails between myself and the jeweler and the email I recieved the other day has different wording and isn’t as professional. My future in laws also believe he’s trying to throw me off. I’m trying not to get my hopes up [again] but I really pray that’s whats going on lol
Post # 14
Fingers crossed for you!!