I am doing an Adult Receiption. What do you think?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
6273 posts
Bee Keeper

No kid weddings are a thing for sure. Just be aware you may get people asking you to bend them rules for them. It seems if you’re saying no kids then it’s no kids – if you start allowing some you piss people off. 

Also know that no kids may mean you get some people saying they can’t come. As long as you’re prepared for that then go for it. You don’t need to justify it by ‘not fun for kids’ or whatever. Just say no kids and leave it. 

Post # 3
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I had a (mostly) childfree wedding/reception but that was to keep costs down. I’ve never been to a wedding that was rowdy or had people who drank heavily, and i’ve also never heard of kids being paid more attention to than the couple so I can’t speak on any of that. Its fine to have a child free wedding if thats what you want, but kids also aren’t going to ruin it or be maimed or killed if they happen to be there.

Totally personal preference.


Post # 4
741 posts
Busy bee

weddinggirl2009 :  It’s entirely up to you if you want a child free wedding! 

I also have heard that small children take away the attention from the couple

I find this reason weird though. 

Post # 5
12125 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I think it’s your choice, of course,  but I disagree with most of what you said. We have always included at least immediate family children, ie nieces and nephews in our family. Some relatives include all the cousin’s children too. Weddings in our circles do not remotely resemble a club scene, the kids are generally well behaved, their parents are responsible adults, and nobody relates to your comment about attention stealing. 

Post # 6
6605 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

weddinggirl2009 :  I don’t think it matters either way… it’s your party, your choice who the guests are. I have never attended a wedding where the kids were disruptive or their safety a concern though. You make it sound like kids get trampled when everyone shoves forward to see the cake get cut and that’s just silly unless they are drunk off their asses (or even then)

Post # 7
9684 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’ve never seen kids be a problem at a wedding or take attention away from the couple or get injured. But if you want to have a child-free wedding that’s your prerogative and there’s nothing wrong with it. You may get some push back from people who think thier kids should be invited to everything but as long as you are fine with some people not attending because thier kids can’t come then it’s a fine choice.

We did invite kids to our wedding but we don’t have a lot of friends with kids so that only meant inviting 2. 

Post # 8
343 posts
Helper bee

i am making an exception for nursing infants and parents coming from out of state. I know if I didn’t make these exceptions their parents wouldn’t be able to come. Even if they did try to come I would feel cruel separating them this way. 

As far as whether kids enjoy weddings, that very much depends. Our dinner isn’t served until 7:30, which is not too far from bedtime for littles. the reception is indoors at a downtown hotel. I think most children would find my wedding reception (and the hour long Mass) tiresome. 

If your dinner is served at 6, outdoors in the summer time, kids can have a blast with that. Room to run, lawn games, etc. 

I am really hoping my wedding doesn’t turn into a club scene. I actually have never been to a club in my entire life. Nothing about them appeals to me. My FI’s on the other hand. mehhhhh

Post # 9
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

weddinggirl2009 :  Obviously adult receptions happen all the time.  You can invite who you want to invite!  If that doesn’t include kids, so be it.  

But for real – being jealous that kids are going to steal attention from you is not a good look.  It’s immature and narcissistic.  It’s your freaking wedding.  You’ll have enough attention, princess.

Post # 11
407 posts
Helper bee

I feel like you may get some criticism but I 100% agree. My fiance and I are having a very elegant wedding while the dancing portion of the evening will have an open bar and will most likely be VERY busy. Our wedding is about us and we have very few interests that overlap with things accessible to kids and fortunately our friend group is younger and don’t have any children. Once we have children our lives will be 100% about them but for now we are happy being a bit selfish especially for our wedding! The children that are in my family I am in no way close to (I’ve been abroad since they were born pretty much) and I already hear enough about them from my mom. I want the focus just to me on my fiance and I as a new family. I don’t think kids will be particularly sad about missing it, and the few parents we do have will most likely enjoy an adult only evening. 

Post # 12
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

weddinggirl2009 :  I actually don’t love kids at all in general lol, but we did have a couple at our wedding. And it was incredibly cute and did not turn the event into a classroom at all. At one point, the band serenaded my bridesmaid’s 2 year old who was the only person on the dance floor. I guess this is the exact thing you’re worried about, but it was actualy one of my favorite moments of the whole wedding. It was so sweet and fun and adorable, and in the end having these children present actually made the day more special. I love that my bridesmaid got to make those special memories with her daughter at my wedding. I hope they look back on the photos 10 or 20 years from now and remember the joy we all felt that day.

Just my experience. I have nothing against adult only weddings, but I def think your fears are a little irrational here.

ETA I also don’t understand what you mean by “for once I want it to be about the couple getting married.” I have been to dozens of weddings, some with kids some without, but never once was it about anything other than the couple getting married?

Post # 13
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

weddinggirl2009 :  Do what you want.  I’ve never seen kids upstage the couple and most weddings I’ve been to have had kids.  That’s weird and sounds kind of self absorbed.  Children who are not watched can get in trouble though, but if you know the kids/parents you would probably know whether to expect that or not.  The worst I saw at a wedding I was in was maybe a not so well behaved 3-4 year old who almost knocked over the cake table.  Granted, his mom wasn’t really keeping a good eye on him (he was a ring bearer).  I had kids at my wedding and had no issues.  And it was at a distillery with an open bar.  But my friends/family aren’t raging alcoholics and it wasn’t at a club so I don’t really get the “club scene” comment.  Haven’t been to a wedding like that even child free ones…

Although I think it might have been nice to do childfree I just had too many out of state guests so i wanted them to be able to come (as most would not have been able to leave children overnight). So it wasn’t an issue for me. I would probably make an exception for any newborns/nursing infants as usually the mom can’t actually be separated.  I brought my 1 mo old to a wedding (I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man so had to be there 12 hours) and she slept the whole time.

Post # 14
3309 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Your aren’t going to have 100% of everyone’s attention the whole reception. People know why they are there. To me childfree has to do with the kind of party you plan to have.

Post # 15
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you search the old threads you will see that you are by no means the first to come up with the concept. Have the wedding you want. Remember to be gracious when some people decline because they can ‘t bring their children. You would be surprised at the number of people who manage to leave their children with a sitter when they go to work, but then claim they can’t for a wedding.

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