Post # 1
June 26th was my EDD -before Darling Husband and I MCed. I have been disdainfully counting down the days to when I would’ve become a mother. I know this is a horrible thing to do, but I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s also exactly one month before my birthday, so it’s a little more sad. Though we never found out the gender, Darling Husband and I both believed it was a girl. I’m still in mourning, and I know that the 26th is not going to be a good day for me. I recently bought a necklace with a celtic knot and a tiny pearl (birthstone for June) so I would always carry a piece of that with me, and always remember her. When will I move on? It’s been 6 months, but I feel like I won’t ever truly move on.
I am debating on calling in that day (I work with pregnant women daily, and I feel that if I see someone coming to have a baby or get a pregnancy test, I will lose it), and I have plenty of PTO so it wouldn’t be an issue there, but I would probably end up crying at home all day. I think it’d be better to work. I don’t know. I’m still so lost. I feel helpless. I feel like somehow, this whole thing is my fault. I know that’s not rational thinking, but it’s all I can think about.
Sorry for the vent, bees. I just had to get this off my chest. :/
Post # 3
I’m so sorry): I wish I had advice for you but all I can offer is *HUGS* to you! I would probably take the day off and relax at home. Again I’m so sorry for your loss.
Post # 4
@stefanielovesjamie: Maybe instead of staying home, you can plan something for yourself. Something that will keep you out of the house, but will allow you to be away from the pregnant woman that you work with?
I’m terribly sorry you’re going through this, I hope some of the other Bees can give you better advice and help you keep strong during this tough time<3
Post # 5
@stefanielovesjamie: awww… your post broke my heart. i can’t relate AT ALL, but i think only 6 months later it is totally normal for you to be feeling this way. and i think you would be totally justified in taking a “mental health day”. and i don’t think anyone would blame you if you stayed in bed all day, watched horrible tv, and ate a lot of ice cream. and on the 27th maybe you’ll be a tiny bit more healed than you were on the 25th.
best of luck, thinking of you.
Post # 6
Aw, I’m sorry hun. Take all the time you need to mourn and heal – there is no “right” amount of time when it comes to grieving. Maybe you could take the day off and plan a nice spa day for yourself? If you want to stay home and cry all day, then do that too – it’s OKAY!
Thinking of you.
Post # 7
Take a day for yourself and call out of work. Plan something fun that you would really like to do. Spa day? Shopping? Go out with your friends? Do something to take your mind off the day and relieve stress.
Post # 8
@Peffy: +1 this idea.
@stefanielovesjamie: (BIG BIG GIANT HUG). So sorry OP.
Post # 9
Thank you all ladies, you’ve made me cry with all the sweet words. A few of you said it would be a good idea to get out of the house and do something that day, and I believe you’re absolutely right.
I’ve always remained stoic with my emotions, at least outwardly, but this is something I can’t remain at ease about. Again, thank you all ladies; you’re all wonderful and that’s why I love the community here- I knew I could express my emotions and you would be caring and helpful in response.
Post # 10
@AstoriaK: I think a spa day sounds perfect. Spend some time pampering yourself and relaxing, maybe spend a nice dinner with your husband. You don’t have to forget the day, but you can find a way to make it easier.
Post # 11
@stefanielovesjamie: I had a MC at 11w2d… It was an unplanned pregnancy, but by that point I’d gotten used to the idea, even though only my SO and best friend knew about the pregnancy (which I was thankful for, in the end). It was the day before Valentine’s day this year. I still cry in the shower a few times a week. Your love for that precious little baby is so pure and sweet, and can be shared with your future children. Hold it close to your heart and save it for them. Be strong! xo
Post # 12
I have no words, but I can give you all the internet hugs you need (((HUGS)))) I’m sorry for your loss.
Post # 13
Thank you again ladies. I’ve noticed myself becoming more depressed, so I’ve tried to solve this by helping Darling Husband repair our boat for the summer. Being active is really helping. However, being at work is not helping. I had a lady today that was pregnant with her 3rd child (this one was unwanted; she said this loudly to me in the office), and I almost lost it in front of her. I realize she has no idea about my situation, but to proclaim at 9 months pregnant that this child is unwanted? :/
Post # 14
That would be incredibly hard to encounter on a daily basis. I also recommend taking the 26th off work. If you’re still feeling very down after the 26th, you might consider seeing a therapist. Not that there is anything wrong with grieving, it just might help to have someone outside of your primary support group to talk to. I just learned in my city that we have a brand new therapy center that offers support groups and individual therapy for people dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss.