Post # 1
… we have known eachother for 8 years now. I used to be a foreign exchange student at her high school. We have been super close friends ever since. And my friend extaticly wanted me to be her maid of honor. I am overwhelmed with happiness about it. Now she has gotten engaged and started planning her wedding. I of course will be at her wedding, coming all the way from Europe just for her special day. But now she suddenly tells me I won
t even be one of her bridesmaids. I feel bummed. You dont promise things like that…and then just like that change your mind. But no, due to “budget limitations” she now wants it to be 4 girls…and not having me at all. I don
t know what to think. In the end I am coming to the states just for her wedding, from Europe...I am sad, honestly. And I dont know if I should confront her with it. I am so disappointed. I feel like she is not taking our friendship seriously.
I am afraid to confront her with it because she said its an issue of financing…and if thats the real reason, that I can`t make fuss about it, right ?
Post # 3
I can understand that. I had a friend whom got married earlier this summer and we had talked before about me being one of her bridesmaids and I wasn’t even INVITED to the wedding. I was/am still very upset about that. I just haven’t taken the time to confront the bride, but at the same point it’s not even worth is since wedding has come and gone.
My advice is to talk to her. I hope that all works out for you and sorry that you are feeling hurt. I’m sure it’s not a matter of her not taking the friendship seriously, maybe she just had a change of plans for people she wanted in the wedding that does happen.
Post # 4
i would also be really upset too. you’re flying all the way from Europe! if she promised you were going to be a Maid/Matron of Honor and then changed her mind, she sounds like a fickle friend to me anyway, and i’d re-evaluate if i’d even want to go to the wedding after that, since you’re going all that way.
Post # 5
I’d talk to her about it. Maybe she feels bad about the fact that you are paying to fly over and is worried that the cost of the dress/shoes/hair/makeup would be too much expense for you? Maybe she’s worried about how to get the dress properly for you and fitting right? I’d talk to her, and see what she says.
Post # 6
Did she ask you years ago to be her Maid/Matron of Honor or since she has been engaged?
To me, if it were years ago, I think you need to accept it and move on.
Things change and I wouldn’t take it personally. If however she asked you afte her engagement, I would very upset and talk to her about it.
Post # 7
talk to her. stay calm and don’t be accusatory.
Post # 8
Ya, I would totally be upset on the one. Maybe say something in a calm way. That’s a real friend though..to fly from Europe..I don’t think I have any friends that would do that. You can be my bridesmaid:)..I’ll take ya!:D.
Post # 9
I think you might be overreacting a little. It’s hard choosing bridesmaids. I totally understand your disappointment, but if you’re really good friends you need to support this decision, be happy for her and be a good friend to her regardless.
I have a few friends coming from Europe for my wedding, including an exchange student I became good friends with in University. I understand it’s a big cost and effort, and totally appreciate that my friend is coming – but that doesn’t automatically get them a spot in the wedding party (although I WILL make every effort to include them in pre-wedding parties and let them know they’re appreciated).